Ask Little Lost Tiki Absolutely Anything

maybe it's an anagram...
Jason is a pretty straight arrow..

RoofHut.....
Thanks for the mess!

GROG helped.

On 2009-10-25 23:48, GROG wrote:

On 2009-10-23 07:28, Jason Wickedly wrote:
Dear LLT/Woofmutt:

Has anyone really been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

The answer is, "YES, but the authorities haven't figured out why anybody would want to."

Given that the answer is YES, what would you really want that was not offered as an absolute to the what was or wasn't inherent in if it was?

Thing One and Thing Two...

:wink:

yay me for breaking the thread with a stupid question off the interwebs.

Now back to your regular scheduled hilarity!

Dear LLT:

Since you are evidently back from your trip to Seattle, what would you say is the biggest difference between people in the Pacific Northwest and the people in your adopted home of Orange County?

On 2009-10-27 09:08, Jason Wickedly wrote:
Dear LLT:

Since you are evidently back from your trip to Seattle, what would you say is the biggest difference between people in the Pacific Northwest and the people in your adopted home of Orange County?

great Question jason!
for once.....
:lol:

the BIGGEST difference?
they have woofmutt!
:)

a few other things....
Up North
they all really don't like Michael jackson
they are more intelligent
people up North wear their ugliness better and accessorize appropriately
the women are taller
they don't like to introduce each other
they cringe at hugs
they do NOT like to buy celebutard artists drinks
They're more "real"
but in the sense of just being stuck-up as soon as you meet them
instead of the artificial niceness we get down here....
they are more courteous as drivers

Work is beckoning so i must go....
but that should be enough...

Dear Little Lost Tiki......

Where did the world go wrong that there are so many horrible recipes available all claiming to be a Mai Tai?

On 2009-10-23 07:28, Jason Wickedly wrote:
*"Dear LLT/Woofmutt:

Has anyone really been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"*

Liloti,
So, Jason was punking you (and everyone else) with that bizarre Internet meme. But I was still weirdly fascinated by the question, and thought, maybe if it was reworded, I would understand. So I copied it into an online language translator, and translated it into Spanish. Which I don't speak, so I translated that into French. And that into Russian, and finally back into English.
Here's what I got:

"Whether was available really far as somebody is solved to use even, they go, they wish to make a sight more likely?"

What are our odds for survival, if we rely on such translators to communicate, during a tense nuclear missile crisis?

New question:
Did you and Woofmutt ever reach a decision on whether to collaborate on the series of cocktail napkin drawings?

Or, as the series of translations renders my question:
"They came once you and Woofmutt the decision in if one must cooperate in a series of the drawings of the towel of the cocktail?"

"The rum's the thing..."

[ Edited by: Limbo Lizard 2009-10-27 13:04 ]

you kids have TOO much time on your hands....

Unfortunately, i do NOT...
i answer most ?????s from work
off-time is studio time...

will answer all aforementioned questions in the next few days....
thank you for your patience
feel free to raid the fridge...

On 2009-10-27 13:38, little lost tiki wrote:
feel free to raid the fridge...

I call dibs on any Orgeat in there!

Can I borrow your cardigan?

Yes, I am wearing pants; albeit my employer, Chapman University has sent a memo to me that professors are not to wear blue jeans.

New question - Are they idiots or are they assholes?

Assdiots

Idioles

LLT, If the world should blow up as depicted in that new movie "2012" what should I use to secure my Tiki mugs from being damaged ?

On 2009-10-29 00:03, Atomic Tiki Punk wrote:
LLT, If the world should blow up as depicted in that new movie "2012" what should I use to secure my Tiki mugs from being damaged ?

:lol:

Jason,Limbo Lizard,
thank you for your uninformed ,albeit amusing contributions to this thread...

On 2009-10-27 10:43, Chip and Andy raised up their heads from their drink in unison and asked:
Dear Little Lost Tiki......
Where did the world go wrong that there are so many horrible recipes available all claiming to be a Mai Tai?

I hope you enjoyed the Orgeat,kids! :)
People have different tastes...some like spicy /some like sweet
a MaiTai is in the eyes of the beholder it seems....
Although,for any drink,there will always be the Purists
the keepers of the Grail
despite how NASTY an original recipe will taste..
This is the generation of EXTREME/FIRE-HOT/CAJUN /RANCH STYLE/SUPERPUCKER items
a ploy to get society used to the heavy metals and harsh chemicals we put into our genetically-modified foodstuff..
Flavors that would be shunned and tossed a few decades ago
are now welcomed...
THAT is where the world went wrong,dearest Chip and Andy....

On 2009-10-27 12:15, Limbo Lizard pondered:
New question:
Did you and Woofmutt ever reach a decision on whether to collaborate on the series of cocktail napkin drawings?

Or, as the series of translations renders my question:
"They came once you and Woofmutt the decision in if one must cooperate in a series of the drawings of the towel of the cocktail?"

i vaguely remember doing something with a cocktail napkin,but TSA agents stormed into the HulaHula and confiscated said item....

Haven't heard anything else since....

On 2009-10-27 21:13, Kiki von Tiki raised her hand like a good schoolgirl and shouted:
Can I borrow your cardigan?

Only if it's really cold and we're walking somewhere
But in regular circumstances...
No....
It's part of my costume and i can't risk ANYTHING happening to it....
But i can take you to some thrift stores and assist you to find your own
with my Hi-Intensity Cool Cardigan Radar....
:)

On 2009-10-27 22:33, telescopes muttered:
Yes, I am wearing pants; albeit my employer, Chapman University has sent a memo to me that professors are not to wear blue jeans.
New question - Are they idiots or are they assholes?

First off.... Does the question refer to the University that sent the memo
or the professors?
because examples of both could be described as such...
I'll assume you're addressing the University and the NO Blue jeans rule...
Students these days are mostly bored/ADD/disrespectful louts
shoved into a College with only an 8th grader's knowledge
due to our wonderful overcrowded schools..
i imagine the University
which only views the situation from their ivory laboratories
feel that if professors would dress more respectable
they would derive more respect
and the University could keep up the appearances of a functional learning facility
while ignoring the deeper societal disadvantages of the students...
and their disdain for anything not directly linked to their self-serving bubbles
they construct around themselves...
Also, when it comes to the powers that be...
there are no mistakes...they are not idiots
they are sly and clever monsters with a stranglehold on their power
there are never any stupid directives
only ones that appear stupid and still forward some great unknown goal of the powers that be...
their No Jeans policy may be one of a million annoyances
that will break the teaching curriculum even further
and also keep professors controlled
as they now have to spend some of the little money they earn
for a "uniform"...
Divide and Conquer-get the staff and students and teachers all ticked off at each other
and the University can continue to earn revenue from people who shouldn't be there!
Your answer is ...they are assholes-they know EXACTLY what they are doing....

On 2009-10-29 00:03, Atomic Tiki Punk shouted:
LLT, If the world should blow up as depicted in that new movie "2012" what should I use to secure my Tiki mugs from being damaged ?

That's easy....
Nothing!
maybe those velcro discs,but i doubt it...
If the world does Blow up due to this inaccurate and misunderstood fad belief
then it will be a finely orchestrated ruse by the Bildebergers
Please understand that....
If these disasters begin to accumulate
i suggest cracking the Book of Revelation
and reading the whole thing
maybe throw in some Book of Daniel,Exodus,and Ezekiel for background
to truly understand what is going on
throughout these EndTimes...
but as for your mugs...
When the elements begin to melt
your mugs should be your last concern....

That's it for now!
great batch of questions this time,kids!
Mahalo!!
:)

I'M HUNGEE!

http://www.kenruzic.com http://www.myspace.com/kenruzicdotcom
http://www.tikicentral.com/viewtopic.php?topic=19904&forum=18&start=0

[ Edited by: little lost tiki 2009-11-02 09:15 ]

On 2009-10-27 21:13, Kiki von Tiki raised her hand like a good schoolgirl and shouted:
Can I borrow your cardigan?

Only if it's really cold and we're walking somewhere
But in regular circumstances...
No....
It's part of my costume and i can't risk ANYTHING happening to it....
But i can take you to some thrift stores and assist you to find your own
with my Hi-Intensity Cool Cardigan Radar....
:)

Yeah, that's me allright - a good little schoolgirl! :lol:
I actually have a burnt orange vintage sweater, but mine does not have holes in the elbows! So let's wear them together and have twin day! wheee!

What date should the Tonga Hut Tikiwonderland IV art show be held?

On 2009-11-02 12:24, GROG asked glumly:
What date should the Tonga Hut Tikiwonderland IV art show be held?

Wednesday January 13th..
That way everybody is done with Christmas
but still need to buy themselves some presents....

Dear Little Lost Tiki.....

Should we be worried that Woofmutt is becoming obsessed with Death? I offer this thread as an example. Should we gather some orgeat and rum and fresh mint and plan an intervention?

Those Pacific North Westerners have different brain chemistry, possibly caused by some indigenous mold due to environ-mental conditions up there?

[ Edited by: Atomic Tiki Punk 2009-11-18 16:33 ]

Maybe you can blame it on "Grunge" Music?

Dear LLT,

My friend Woofmutt (I will not reveal his last name in order to protect his identity) acts out with a lot of inconsiderate and immature behaviors. When we were at the Ivars brunch the other day, he took my crème brûlée and sunk it in the big bowl of Thousand Island dressing. Then he snatched my french fries from my plate and stuffed them into his pockets. When I tried to explain to him how immature and rude that was, he just yelled "Ooga mooga monkey man!" THAT MAKES NO SENSE!

When I finally got my plate refilled and sat down I found he had coated my seat with tartar sauce, and then he slowly stuck several of those little packets of jam to the back of my head. I tried to patiently explain to him why that was unacceptable behavior, but he just started yelling "Ooga mooga monkey man! Ooga mooga monkey man!" over and over. This really peeved me because it MAKES NO SENSE!

How can I get my anonymous friend to stop chanting "Ooga mooga monkey man!" and hold a sensible and mature conversation when I am displeased with his behavior?

Monkey Skull

P.S. Please don't tell me to seek the help of some mutual friends. Our mutual friends are the Tikirivieras, and they are even meaner to me.

Dear Liloti,

Some people call it "Ivars" when the name is clearly "Ivar's" as you can see for yourself right here.

WHy are peopl so dumbb liek that?

Dear Little Lost Tiki,

What do I need to do to get someone to smear Ivar's Tartar Sauce all over my chair? That stuff is hecka good.

Ever hopeful,

Humuhumu

Dear Kinneh,

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin???

Is it fear of a zombie ambush???

Sleepin wiff one eye open,

~Ravz

Holy Crap!!!!!

On 2009-11-18 22:30, MadDogMike wrote:
Holy Crap!!!!!

They make a product fer that..."Oops! I Crapped My Pants!"

:D

Dang!
This thread feels like those four years in the Marines
hurry up and wait...repeat.
Thanks to all y'alls for the burst of enthusiasm!
and thank you for wasting those pre-work moments at work...

On 2009-11-18 10:45, Chip and Andy,two of the cutest and most enthusiastic contributors to this thread asked:
Dear Little Lost Tiki.....

Should we be worried that Woofmutt is becoming obsessed with Death? I offer this thread as an example. Should we gather some orgeat and rum and fresh mint and plan an intervention?

No no dearies...
Woofmutt is a Highly evolved Brainiac who doesn't have time to ponder death
(especially after his research into hyper-dimensional physics and the anomalies on the Moon and mars..)
There are bigger Fish to Fry out there!
orgeat and rum and fresh mint?
perhaps...with a hint of hemlock
and a cracked thermometer for a drink stirrer...
What woofmutt is sharing
is his knowledge of patterns
it is thru trends/patterns that spans of this time wave length
can be recognized and noted...
(think Mandelbrot curve...or not!)
He just happened to notice this significant number of posts
all relating to death...
So...that answered... Why is it?
Is it media societal brainwashing
to prepare us for a natural/supernatural/staged End-Times "event"?
Is it all those TCers getting older and beginning to contemplate
their "next stage" ? Alcohol does bring about those thoughts...
it IS a Depressive,remember?
Or could it be...a subconscious "signal" that the scene is dying?
there are these 2 gentlemen who run some kinda "webbots" program
to gauge certain words/phrases /tendencies and "chatter" on the internet
it's interesting how there is a groundswell of "chatter" LEADING to major events
kind of a "psychic realization"or unconscious premonition...
food for thought there...
So, to answer your question, C & A..
is don't be worried
he is merely pointing out clues to us..

Atomic Tiki Punk's comment isn't really valid for this question
Of course, it's welcome in this conversation
but a bit mis-guided
since different molds affect ALL parts of this country...
tree mold
we have a fungus that eats coniferous trees
and ANY condo you look at
there is a black mold growing/eating the cheap chicken wire covered stucco-paint on them...
and Grunge music is a symptom
not cause of this mindset...

like that monolith in 2001...kinda....well, not really....

On 2009-11-18 17:03, monkeyskull befuddedly pondered:
Dear LLT,

My friend Woofmutt (I will not reveal his last name in order to protect his identity) acts out with a lot of inconsiderate and immature behaviors. When we were at the Ivars brunch the other day, he took my crème brûlée and sunk it in the big bowl of Thousand Island dressing. Then he snatched my french fries from my plate and stuffed them into his pockets. When I tried to explain to him how immature and rude that was, he just yelled "Ooga mooga monkey man!" THAT MAKES NO SENSE!

When I finally got my plate refilled and sat down I found he had coated my seat with tartar sauce, and then he slowly stuck several of those little packets of jam to the back of my head. I tried to patiently explain to him why that was unacceptable behavior, but he just started yelling "Ooga mooga monkey man! Ooga mooga monkey man!" over and over. This really peeved me because it MAKES NO SENSE!

How can I get my anonymous friend to stop chanting "Ooga mooga monkey man!" and hold a sensible and mature conversation when I am displeased with his behavior?

Monkey Skull

P.S. Please don't tell me to seek the help of some mutual friends. Our mutual friends are the Tikirivieras, and they are even meaner to me.

Well Monkeyskull...
How can you get your anonymous friend to stop chanting "Ooga mooga monkey man!" and hold a sensible and mature conversation when you are displeased with his behavior?
you can't...
a friend is a person who is a friend
not because they're the only other person at an event that is palatable
or because they're interesting
but a friend is someone who loves,respects,and trys to understand and ACCEPT their friend's behavior..
the ACCEPTING part is the only part you are lacking...
Well... the respect too,but that was motivated by woofmutt's strange behavior
and outbursts.....
the food part i can only guess at.... so i won't..
it could be a strangely symbolic act
a cultural misunderstanding
a curse or HEX
a fetish
not sure...
so i ain't going there....

as for the mysterious phrase..
"Ooga mooga monkey man!"
i imagine first off
it's an anagram for SOMETHIN...
but,being the trickster incarnate
woofy understood that most humans wouldn't make the effort to decode his
SPECIAL MESSAGE TO MANKIND

BUT
if we just take the initials...
OMMM
a pun on AUM/OM however one spells it...
AUM is chanted usually at the beginning /ending of reading the Vedas
or before/after every prayer or mantra...
So possibly woofy may be a devotee of Hanuman-the monkey god of Indian lore...
The name Omkara, (Sanskrit:om)
is taken as a name of God in the Hindu revivalist Arya Samaj.
The concept of om
is found in Sikh theology as a symbol of God.
It emphasizes God's singularity,
or Ek Onkar
("One Omkara" or "The Aum is One"),
explaining and stating that the multiplicity of existence symbolized
in the aum syllable is really founded in a singular God
and that people who lift paragraphs from Wikipedia will be punished

Buddhists place om at the beginning of their Vidya-Sadaksari (mystical formula in six syllables)
om mani padme hum
as well as most other mantras
As a seed syllable (bija mantra), it is also considered holy in Esoteric Buddhism.
i DO know that...for woofmutt...
in the WINTER
he's a Buddhist
but
in the SUMMER
he's a Nudist!
:lol:

That's all i got...
I hope this helps you to understand and perhaps even be a bit more tolerable
of your mystical friend.....

On 2009-11-18 18:49, woofmutt opined:
Dear Liloti,
Some people call it "Ivars" when the name is clearly "Ivar's" as you can see for yourself right here.
WHy are peopl so dumbb liek that?

I...myself have made that same mistake...
there are LOCALS
and there are VISITORS
i would expect that mistake from a VISITOR but not a LOCAL...
As for the "why are people so dumb like that?" question...

at any given time 30 to 40% of the population are of "average" intelligence
which means that 30-35% of the others are SuperSmart or Plum Dumb
that's life on Earth,my friend..
It is the responsibility of the Supersmarters to help educate the Plum Dumbs...
that is your mission..
GO!

On 2009-11-18 19:52, Humuhumu wondered:
Dear Little Lost Tiki,
What do I need to do to get someone to smear Ivar's Tartar Sauce all over my chair? That stuff is hecka good.
Ever hopeful,
Humuhumu

That's an easy answer Humuhumu!
What do you have to do?

1. Get Married
2. go on a Honeymoon
3. get liquored up
4. and simply ASK....

Wonderful things will happen.my dear!
i predict
:)

On 2009-11-18 22:09, ravenne was befuddled and asked:
Dear Kinneh,
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin???
Is it fear of a zombie ambush???
Sleepin wiff one eye open,
~Ravz

Only an animator-to-be would ask that...
An airtight coffin fosters decomposition by anaerobic bacteria
which results in a putrefied liquification of the body
and all that nasty gummy melty tissue remains inside the container
only to be exposed in the event of an exhumation!!!!!
hence tha name... "SOUPY" SALES...

aw... that was bad...
too soon... too soon...

EEEW!
BUT....
a container that allows air molecules to pass in and out, such as a simple wooden box nailed shut
allows for aerobic decomposition that results in
a much less stinky odor and clean skeletonization.

one more thing,friend...
zombies aint real
'cept in Haiti....
Down with Hollywood mass media Zombies!

Phew! Just in time to start work!
Thanks Buddies
fer jump-startin the ol' creative motor!
ZZZZZZZZZZZZoooom!

Dear LLT,

I know that gurus often provide us answers in the form of a puzzle, and perhaps your response was meant to be inscrutable, and to lead me down the road to finding my own answers. But it is difficult to be contemplative when the back of your pants are coated with Ivars [sic] tartar sauce and you have little packets of jelly stuck to the back of your head, so I'm requesting a little more help.

You seem to attribute the behavior of my friend (to maintain his anonymity I will refer to him as "Woofmutt X") to his being a "Buddhist." But I'm not sure which type of Bud this refers to. Are you saying that he's a devotee of marijuana, or of Budweiser beer? Also, with regrets, all your talk of "om" and this and that totally went over my head, as I have not seen most of the Star Wars films.

So I am still at a loss over how to communicate in a mature way with "Woofmutt X." Also, since I last wrote you, Woofmutt X secretly dumped out my bottle of falernum and refilled it with Cherry-flavored Phillips Milk of Magnesia. If you don't think this could make a big difference in your Mai Tais and Zombies, I assure you from painful experience that you would be wrong. The Woofmutt X situation is becoming increasingly aggravating, so if you have any more concrete advice in terms that I can understand, this would be much appreciated.

On 2009-11-19 09:59, monkeyskull wrote:
Dear LLT,

I know that gurus often provide us answers in the form of a puzzle, and perhaps your response was meant to be inscrutable, and to lead me down the road to finding my own answers. But it is difficult to be contemplative when the back of your pants are coated with Ivars [sic] tartar sauce and you have little packets of jelly stuck to the back of your head, so I'm requesting a little more help.

You seem to attribute the behavior of my friend (to maintain his anonymity I will refer to him as "Woofmutt X") to his being a "Buddhist." But I'm not sure which type of Bud this refers to. Are you saying that he's a devotee of marijuana, or of Budweiser beer? Also, with regrets, all your talk of "om" and this and that totally went over my head, as I have not seen most of the Star Wars films.

So I am still at a loss over how to communicate in a mature way with "Woofmutt X." Also, since I last wrote you, Woofmutt X secretly dumped out my bottle of falernum and refilled it with Cherry-flavored Phillips Milk of Magnesia. If you don't think this could make a big difference in your Mai Tais and Zombies, I assure you from painful experience that you would be wrong. The Woofmutt X situation is becoming increasingly aggravating, so if you have any more concrete advice in terms that I can understand, this would be much appreciated.

Well monkeyskull....
the title of this thread is "Ask Little Lost Tiki Absolutely Anything"
not "Ask Little Lost Tiki Absolutely Anything and he will answer it to your satisfaction"
If that poses to be a problem
you may contact my lawyer
and he will explain the details....

By the way..
woofbuddh is my attorney...
pro-bono!
(he hates Cher tho!)

On 2009-11-19 10:10, little lost tiki wrote:
woofbuddh is my attorney...
pro-bono!

This just illustrates how poor my communication with "Woofmutt X" really is. Here I find that he is your pro-bono attorney, and I had no idea that he was a lawyer or that he even liked U2.

Woofmutt X is an enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in a chalupa shell. He doesn't even like Red Mill Burgers, for chrissakes. I may never figure him out.

MAYBE YOU JUST NEED TO GET A BIOHAZARD PROTECTIVE SUIT
WALK OVER TO HIS HOME
AND SIT,CHAT,AND GET TO KNOW THIS
RENAISSANCE INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY AND MISCHIEF...
Who knows?
You might actually become BONO-FIDE friends!
:lol:

Dear little lost tiki,

Exactly how fine is the distinction between an Extra Dry Martini and a Glass of Gin?

And, since I am on the subject, and seeing double, part three of the two part question...... Olive? or Lemon Twist?

On 2009-11-23 19:04, Chip and Andy slurred out this question:
Dear little lost tiki,

Exactly how fine is the distinction between an Extra Dry Martini and a Glass of Gin?

And, since I am on the subject, and seeing double, part three of the two part question...... Olive? or Lemon Twist?

Hey kids!
this one's pretty easy
even for a lad who would rather smoke than drink his evening cocktail!
:)

The term DRY is referring to how much vermouth is added to the gin....
Extra dry would mean just a tad bit of vermouth..
i have heard the best way to mix a dry martini
is to add classy gin to a martini glass
Grab a bottle of vermouth
and wave it around the martini glass three times
but never remove the lid.....

A traditional martini would have 3/4-4/5 gin and 1/4-1/5 vermouth. Any less vermouth than that would be considered a dry martini.

So, my dear Chip and Andy
How fine is the distinction between an Extra Dry Martini and a Glass of Gin?
1/4 oz of vermouth is the fine line you ride....

As for the olives vs lemon twist.....
only a MAROON would mess up good gin with olives and their icky brine and oil.
Just eat em on the side if you must...
Of course yellow pepper rings and pickle juice WILL spice up my sister's famous Bloody Mary Clamato Delight with a raw green bean stir stick...
but vegetables and their life-juices should avoid
such a classy American creation as the martini...
Gin begs for lemon rind, not salty olives.

and would you believe.....
I've only had 3 sips of martinis my whole life
ick....

but, like they say...

Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum,
What might be right for you, may not be right for some.
A man is born, he's a man of means.
Then along come two, they got nothing but their jeans.

But they got, Diff'rent Strokes.
It takes, Diff'rent Strokes.
It takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world.

Everybody's got a special kind of story
Everybody finds a way to shine,
It don't matter that you got not alot
So what,
They'll have theirs, and you'll have yours, and I'll have mine.
And together we'll be fine....

Because it takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world.
Yes it does.
It takes, Diff'rent Strokes to move the world!

:)

Thanks for the question,cuties!

Got to wade in here, as a former professional Bartender, still slinging drinks, just not getting paid for it.
I would never put a 1/4 ratio of Vermouth in a Martini, just a combo of sweet & dry Vermouth and just a splash at the most, more dry Vermouth then sweet for a a drier drink, I would never add a lemon twist unless ordered, extra dry Martini,dry Vermouth only, no sweet.
a Dirty Martini uses the juice from the olive jar.

My recipe is:
Reg Martini a few drops of Sweet & dry Vermouth in equal amounts
Dry Martini 1/3 sweet & 2/3 dry
Extra Dry only dry vermouth

everyone has their own taste, but I had enough fans of my Martini, Mai Tai, Zombie & Scorpion's to stick with my classic recipes.

Thanks for chiming in ATP..
Like you said.. "everyone has their own taste"
so before this thread is weighted down with boooooooooooring martini talk

let's get back to some questions,huh?
:)

LLT, Since you are student of Ancient Pacific culture, what place is considered the origin/cradle of Polynesian culture?

On 2009-11-25 02:55, Atomic Tiki Punk sophisticatedly asked:
LLT, Since you are student of Ancient Pacific culture, what place is considered the origin/cradle of Polynesian culture?

Well,No student,just a layman's knowledge of too much stuff....
As there are time restraints this pre-holiday workday
I will quote here the answer
the most logical one-the theory that satisfies me the most...

Let me get my smoking jacket and robe here..
Ah! my reading spectacles...
Ready!
let the plagiarism begin!
(actually you can check out this wonderful website where i lifted the info...

The islands scattered along the north shore of New Guinea first drew people in canoes eastwards into the ocean. By 1500 B.C., these voyagers began moving east beyond New Guinea, first along the Solomon Island chain, and then to the Banks and Vanuatu Archipelagos. ( Vanuatu art is so wild and crazyfun to look at...Would be interesting to placw all these artforms on a timeline -just to gauge for an evolution of style thru contact with other environments...)As the gaps between islands grew from tens of miles at the edge of the western Pacific to hundreds of miles along the way to Polynesia, and then to thousands of miles in the case of voyages to the far corners of the Polynesian triangle, these oceanic colonizers developed great double-hulled vessels capable of carrying colonists as well as all their supplies, domesticated animals, and planting materials. As the voyages became longer, they developed a highly sophisticated navigation system based on observations of the stars, the ocean swells, the flight patterns of birds and other natural signs to find their way over the open ocean. And, as they moved farther away from the biotic centers of Southeast Asia and New Guinea, finding the flora and fauna increasingly diminished, they developed a portable agricultural system, whereby the domesticated plants and animals were carried in their canoes for transplantation on the islands they found.

Once they had reached the mid-ocean archipelagos of Fiji, Tonga, and Samoa, these seafarers - the immediate ancestors of the Polynesians - were alone in the ocean, for only they had the canoes and navigational skills needed to push so far into the Pacific. The gaps between islands widen greatly in the eastern Pacific and the prevailing winds become less and less favorable for sailing to the east. Nonetheless, the archaeological evidence indicates that they sailed eastward to the Cook, Society, and Marquesas Groups, and from there crossed thousands of miles of open ocean to colonize the islands of Hawai'i in the north, Easter Island in the southeast (this theory may be questionable as Thor heyerdahl has posited that the Rapa Nui-ans may have migrated over to Easter island from South America,when there were a chain of islands there....), and New Zealand in the southwest, thus completing settlement, by around 1000 AD, of the area we know today as the Polynesian Triangle.

When the Southeast Asian sailors started out on their odyssey they were not yet identifiably Polynesian. Only after many years of learning how to voyage long distances, and to survive on the high islands and atolls they found in the sea, did the ocean-oriented Polynesian culture take on its classic form.

In addition to a highly developed sailing and navigational technology, that cullture included a uniquely oceanic world view and a social structure well adapted to voyaging and colonization. Polynesian societies combined a strong authority structure based on genealogical ranking that was useful for mounting long expeditions and founding island colonies.....

Please... mix yourself a martini and think away!
Thank you for your question
:)

the above post was apparently cloned....
i have destroyed it....

[ Edited by: little lost tiki 2009-12-08 08:07 ]

Thanks LLT,
You have filled my quest for learning stuff, for the moment & happy Turkey day to you all!

Hello Tiki Central Friends!
well, plenty of you have bugged,bothered and prodded me for some t-shirts
so...whilst working on some coffee mug designs with Brian at Tikitees
we worked out a deal and i got
the below four designs printed on
XL 100% white cotton tees
with a VERY soft hand
in a very LIMITED RUN
of only 9 apiece of EACH design..
This will be a litmus test to see if people actually will wear and enjoy these designs...
So, if we never print em again-you just got a low-run item from a semi-retarded artist
and that's gotta be worth something!
This will be a litmus test to see if people actually will wear and enjoy these designs...

SIMPLY shoot me a PM and we'll go from there...
The cost is $15 apiece (plus shipping)

If you order all four they will be only $13 apiece (plus shipping)
I imagine shipping will be somewhere between 2-5 bucks....

THIS SALE WILL BE EXCLUSIVELY TIKI CENTRAL for awhile
1 maybe 2 weeks
SO ACT NOW!
DON'T DELAY!

and then I'm gonna throw the remainders up on the website/myspace/facebook etc....

but for now....
These are Limited to only 9 apiece so First Come/First Serve
AND THEY MAY NOT EVER EVER BE OFFERED AGAIN!
i may find some other designs that amuse me.....

Please indicate WHICH shirt/shirts you want by title....
If you want me to title and sign the shirt
please indicate WHERE on the garment in your PM
and REMEMBER... these are ALL XL
So if you;re too small....GROW!
If you're too big....SHRINK!
and if you don't have any other complaints.....SHUSH!
:)
easy-peasy!

and Yes! We do take paypal!
Here are all the shirts laying about on my uncomfortable couch in the studio....

First Shirt... "Four Faces" (Hawaiian)

Second Shirt... "the Nervous Guest" (PNG)

Third Shirt... "the Gossips" (Rapa Nui)

Third Shirt... "the Friend Collector" (Maori)
the pic of the tee shirt got all whited out from the flash... didn't turn out....sorry!

Thanks again!

Check out somemore at...
http://www.kenruzic.com http://www.myspace.com/kenruzicdotcom
facebook too!

Dear Liloti,

I was thinkin of becomin' a big hot shot t-shirt slinger like yerself...Any advice?

woofmutt

On 2009-12-02 16:11, woofmutt had the nerve to ask:
Dear Liloti,
I was thinkin of becomin' a big hot shot t-shirt slinger like yerself...Any advice?
woofmutt

Yes woofie....DON'T!
These people on here are waaaay too picky
when it comes down to "put up or shut up"
They will encourage you and practically promise to buy anything you put out...
But when it comes to actually making the sale...
fizzle would be the word to describe it....
i think my first mistake was putting them on white XL's
because it does make the more "prosperous" of us
look as big as we really are...
and i don't like that
and imagine others feel the same way..
That's why we drink so much....
it's so we don't notice!

My second mistake was actually listening to all these clowns....
They'd make a good group of politicians! :)

My advice would be to get into the t-shirt design aspect of it
That way you can design shirts on somebody else's dime
and not have to worry about sales or anything!
Just concept and doodle and research and design and draw....
Much simpler and absolutely NO CUSTOMER SERVICE!

If you ARE gonna sling tees
Do it at the events,especially Oasis
where all those rubes are liquored up
and will buy practically anything!

Thanks for the timely question
and......
Good Luck Sir!

Dear LiLoTi,

Are there any threads I can read in Bilge, that haven't become infected with the Woofmutt T-shirt Virus?

If I buy a t-shirt, will it help isolate the thread infection, or only make it worse, possibly spreading it into the rest of Tiki Central?

And, if I buy one, how can I be sure I'm not being an enabler - like giving cash to an obvious wino?

Sincerely,
Limbo Lizard

(Please disclose any potential conflict of interest)

"The rum's the thing..."

[ Edited by: Limbo Lizard 2009-12-03 16:40 ]

Dear Liloti,
Is it true the candy we call Smarties here in the US and the candy known as Smarties in the UK are two entirely different types of candy?

On 2009-12-03 16:37, Limbo Lizard sang:
Dear LiLoTi,

Are there any threads I can read in Bilge, that haven't become infected with the Woofmutt T-shirt Virus?

Photo Association....

If I buy a t-shirt, will it help isolate the thread infection, or only make it worse, possibly spreading it into the rest of Tiki Central?

Neither....
You would help me care for my Blind,Crippled Ginger Cousin
who would SO love to get something for Christmas besides crushed Smarties
and my Small Wonder Video collection....
Only YOU can Help make lil BillyBob's Christmas Shine...
Act Now!

And, if I buy one, how can I be sure I'm not being an enabler - like giving cash to an obvious wino?

Buying and wearing a t-shirt should help enable you
to go out in public
and by wearing said garment
actually provide FREE advertising for the little lost tiki industrial corporation
as well as give off an air of coolness around the ladies....

Sincerely,
Limbo Lizard

(Please disclose any potential conflict of interest)

just a lil.....
:)

On 2009-12-04 13:28, woofmutt spit out:
Dear Liloti,
Is it true the candy we call Smarties here in the US and the candy known as Smarties in the UK are two entirely different types of candy?

Why yes woofy,they are!

British Smarties are a colourful sugar-coated chocolate confectionery popular all over the world. They have been manufactured since at least 1882, originally by Richard Roland Hirschfield Rowntree (SHAFT from the popular movie)
Enterprises,which was established in England via Time Machine....

Smarties are oblate spheroids with a minor axis of about 5 mm (0.2 in) and a major axis of about 15 mm (0.6 in). They have nothing to do with the 19.5 point on planets....They come in eight colours: sausage red, scurvy orange, meatpie yellow, hangover green, prozac blue, violent, sissy pink and poopy brown, although the blue variety was temporarily replaced by a republican white variety in some countries, while an alternative natural colouring dye of the blue colour was being researched by the World Health Organization.

Rowntree's of York, England, have been making "Chocolate Beans" since at least 1882. The product was renamed "Smarties Most Excellent Fuggin Great Chocolate Beans" in 1937. Rowntree's were forced to drop the words "Great Chocolate Beans" in 1977 due to trading standards requirements (the use of the word "beans" was felt to be misleading) and so adopted the "Milk Chocolate in a Most Excellent Fuggin Crisp Sugar Shell".

The brand became known as "Nestlé AWESOME Smarties" in 1993, five years after Rowntree's was acquired by Nestlé in a thumb wrestling incident betwixt the two owners. Smarties are no longer manufactured in York; production has now moved to Nazi Germany, where a third of them were already made to goosestep and other horrifying things. Outside Europe, Nestlé's largest production facility for Smarties is in Canada, where Specially Trained Nestle Mounties and St. Bernards have been manufacturingthese since 1918.
They are very close to M&Ms except for shape....

American Smarties....
you don't need to know about them..
they're lame

But they are American!

Thanks for the GREAT QUESTIONS!
:)

I disagree with you LLT - calling our American Smarties LAME :(

What would the American Halloween experience be without them...yeah?...LAME!