Ask Little Lost Tiki Absolutely Anything

LLT, is it possible that Margaritaville Premium Jamaican Rum sponsoring Hukilau 2010 could be the Capulet/Montague marriage to end the feud between Tiki and Jimmy Buffett?

On 2010-01-05 08:53, Chip and Andy cackled wickedly and typed the following with clawed fingers:
Dear Little Lost Tiki,

I have been slowly building an Evil Empire and am finally ready to start stocking up on Henchman. Any suggestions on where to get some good ones? Do you know of any kind of coupons or special codes to use when I order? Or places that offer volume discounts on orders over a certain number of Henchmen?

Happy New Years Kids!
Here's to another year of answering these oft times interesting questions!
By the Evil Empire comment
i assume you're not referring to the original meaning of the word
a Horse Groom...
Horses aren't EVIL enough for an Empire...
Maybe Tigers or Alligators or gorillas
would be great for an Evil Empire's minions to ride
and that would take entirely different "GROOM" ers....

May i recommend contacting Christian Bale's agent
His joker henchmen may be available for some work...
Idi Amin had some great henchmen as well
but he's missing, somewhere in the Middle East in exile....
(Libya perhaps?)
I would stay away from the Monarch's henchmen
and the Penguin's....

But....
Of course...
the BEST henchmen are right here in the good ol' USA
I would strongly suggest you contact any of the following
BLACKWATER
Xe Services LLC (pronounced /ˈzi/), still usually referred to as "Blackwater"and it's a private military company founded in 1997 by Erik Prince and Al Clark.B

Based in North Carolina, it operates a tactical training facility....
Here;s the coordinates if you prefer ATTACK rather than DIPLOMATIC means to get these henchmen
(36°27′N 76°12′W / 36.45°N 76.2°W / 36.45; -76.2)
which (the company claims) is the world's largest, and at which it trains more than 40,000 people a year, mostly from US and other military and police services. The training consists of military offensive and defensive operations, as well as smaller scale personal security and reliable obedient henchmen.

They are currently the largest of the US State Department's private security contractors,but you could also contact WACKENHUT (unless they changed their company's name).The Sad news is that at least 90 percent of the company's revenue comes from government contracts,so those coupons and codes are probably military,or federal at the very least,and civilians have no access to them.... Coupons for henchmen.... Who ever thought of such a thing? Two-thirds of those contracts are no-bid contracts, so you may have some speedbumps in the road when it comes to acquiring them...

If all else fails
contact the moai Mafia on this forum
They'll be happy to help!
:)

On 2010-01-05 11:55, Limbo Lizard rambled on and on :
I see that Hukilau will have an official rum sponsor, this year, as yet undetermined (or unannounced).
If the winning bid/proposal to be the Hukilau 2010 Official Sponsor Rum is 'Margaritaville Premium Jamaican Rum', will there be weeping and gnashing of teeth in Tiki Central?

Probably Not....
Drunkeness wins over snobbery every time!
There's enough good free booze at these events in the rooms
for all the hardcore snobs to be satiated....

Would the Room Crawl, featuring the sponsor rum, result in violent confrontations and boycotting?

Probably not...... free booze is free booze!

Or would the generous contribution of gallons of rum and money to Hukilau lead mellowed-out room crawlers to an attitude of forgiveness and reconciliation with "Bubba-elzebub"?

yes,for the fiftieth time...yes!

If so, would this new Era of Good Feelings spread throughout Tiki Central?

Dunno, that's a hypothetical question that delves beyond my Remote-Viewing capabilities.....

Is the fact that I even imagine such a thing, and that it makes me snicker, evidence that my Inner Child is really an Inner Troll?

Yes!
Because there are a lot more cooler things to contemplate
And waxing philosophically and theoretically
about issues concerning booze
are far below the human capability to think and dream and ponder
so Yes!
Inner Troll would explain it!
Thanks for the visit

but could you keep it down to 1-2 questions per posting?
i answer these before work
so i gotta be fast!
thank you!
:)

On 2010-01-05 20:32, MadDogMike chimed in:
LLT, is it possible that Margaritaville Premium Jamaican Rum sponsoring Hukilau 2010 could be the Capulet/Montague marriage to end the feud between Tiki and Jimmy Buffett?

Well.....
it could be
but we all know how that tale ended...

Thanks for the questions,friends!!

Dear LLT~
1)Where the hell have I been for so long?

2)I am watching a movie(circa1969), "The Big Cube", 'where a spoiled hippie and her boyfriend want to speed her inheritence by slipping her stepmother LSD'. Is this a viable modus operandi? I don't think I can stay awake for the whole thing. How does the movie end?

3)If a palm tree falls on a deserted beach, will anyone hear it?

4)Is Ernie still cute as hell?

Thank you for your sage wisdom.
Sign me,
Confused and frozen in Florida

Dear LLT~

1. Why did I stay up till 0400hrs to read through this entire thread?

2. What can I do for the headache I now have?

3. Will I see snow in Florida this weekend(the weathermen won't commit)?

4. I am now watching the movie "I Love You, Alice B. Toklas"(c1968), what happened to all the screenwriters from that era? Do you think that writing style was really well received or just a template that was destined to be regurgitated?

Many thanks for your sageness.
Sign me,
Still chilly and waiting for Florida snow

Hey kikekeki!
What part of
"Please only ask ONE,maybe TWO questions at a time"
is not understandable?

EIGHT QUESTIONS!?!?!
and half of them
YOU can answer better than i could!
Crazy Dame!

Here's what I'm gonna do......
I'll let you off easy this time....
You May STILL be able to CONTRIBUTE to this "public" forum
if you RESUBMIT your entry
and keep it down to TWO SIGNIFICANT QUESTIONS...
Thank you for your cooperation!

Man.... i hate Mondays!

Dear LLT~
Thank you for your reply! I shall gladly whittle my curiosities down to the two most important questions:

1. Is Ernie still cute as hell?
2. Have you missed me terribly?
   Thank you in advance, oh Sage One.
   Sign me,
   Yes, I'm stil effin freezing in Florida

On 2010-01-11 15:33, kikekeki wrote:
Dear LLT~
Thank you for your reply! I shall gladly whittle my curiosities down to the two most important questions:

1. Is Ernie still cute as hell?
2. Have you missed me terribly?
   Thank you in advance, oh Sage One.
   Sign me,
   Yes, I'm stil effin freezing in Florida

NOW THAT'S BETTER!
Thanks hun!
:)
I had forgotten my reading glasses at work
and it was a Monday
so an avalanche of questions wasn't quite good timing..

First question

1. Is Ernie still cute as hell?
   I'll answer this with 3 pictures...
   

and a HELLs YEAH!
if thats what you're into.....
:)

Second Question:
Have you missed me terribly?

Terribly?
No,not really..

As much as an artist focused like a laser beam on ART and ART only can miss someone?
yes!
:)

Thanks for playing kikekeki!
Pop by more often!

Dearest LLT~
Thank you for your prompt reply! I can now rest easy at night...
My next question:
Is there another 'Ernie list' floating around TC that I can work my butt off to get on and gain the #1 spot? It's been a long time since I've been on anyone's s**t list... :wink:
Sign me,
Missed You, too!
K.

Dear Liloti,

Would big floppy clown shoes give me more stability as I walk through this world beneath the weight of my staggering genius?

-wfmtt-

Dear omnipotent one:

Does anybody really like root beer? Or is it all just a conspiracy against me?

LLT,

I've never been to a Tiki art show before and I'm curious. The problem is I'm not inclined to buy any art right now. Will my attendance be appreciated even if I don't have my wallet handy?

Should I just stay home?

[ Edited by: JOHN-O 2010-01-13 22:43 ]

Wow!
No slacking on answers today!
I see a BUNCH of Questions to answer...

On 2010-01-12 17:59, kikekeki continued to fixate on her crush on Ernie and asked:
Is there another 'Ernie list' floating around TC that I can work my butt off to get on and gain the #1 spot? It's been a long time since I've been on anyone's s**t list... :wink:

GROG has been practicing small ambushes here on TC for some time..
So i expect a full frontal assault in the near future
just wonderin what thread will manifest it...
my best advice is to keep on his trail
wait for him to strike
and then heckle,ridicule,and debunk his efforts on that thread...
that would be my best advice to get you the list,at the very least...
From there,you can concentrate your efforts and reach that #1 spot you covet!
Good Luck!!!
:)

On 2010-01-13 08:32, woofmutt sat up straight and addressed the audience as such....
Dear Liloti,
Would big floppy clown shoes give me more stability as I walk through this world beneath the weight of my staggering genius?

Yes!
As long as you SHUFFLE,not walk
through this world....
Clown Shoes are famous for hitting invisible snags and bumps
and lead to falls.. Shuffle around and you'll be fine!
This will give your HUGE thought-filled brain stability....
Also, when its raining
you can lift your feet over your noggin
and keep it dry!
YAY for clownshoes!
NEXT!

On 2010-01-13 16:03, dewey-surf thought reeeeeal hard and asked:
Dear omnipotent one:
Does anybody really like root beer? Or is it all just a conspiracy against me?

First off dewey-surf.....
no Grandiose titles for the Host..
I am a mere mortal, just as you are
with all the faults and fallacies and contradictions..
Please don't make this more than it is....
A time waster with Q & A as the validation...
nothing more....

So.... does anyone really like root beer?
Sweet sassafrass! I certainly do!

Now are we talking about the Hires/A&W kind or the alcoholic kind?
The historical root beer had a very low alcohol content.
Now,the soft drink brands have no alcohol OR caffeine
(with the exception of one by barq's ,i believe,that is fortified with CAFFEINE!!!
And did you know that the name root beer
is virtually unused outside of the United States, Canada and the Philippines?
At least those countries could be counted on the "Liking Root Beer" list!
Did you also know that root beer is commonly referred to as the drink of the navy?
Don't ask me why...just relating the written reports from my agents....

AAAAAAAAAAND......
December 4 is International Root Beer Day,if you doubted its popularity!
IRBD was first celebrated on December 4, 1995 in Venezuela with American root beer imported from Curaçao
.Perhaps it was a publicity stunt to INCREASE sales
but part of me wants to believe it is because of it's Worldwide acclaim...

So the answer to your question is No and NO..
There is no conspiracy against you...
if you still feel that way
go to your local psychiatrist and tell him
"i have a complex Persecution complex
mixed with a Paranoid ,Delusional state
that revolves around my love of rootbeer."

Say that EXACTLY to your psychiatrist,or even psychologist
and they will get you a treatment right away
and you can enjoy rootbeer without the baggage!
Good luck and Thanks for the visit!
:)

On 2010-01-13 18:09, JOHN-O sheepishly asked:
LLT,
I've never been to a Tiki art show before and I'm curious. The problem is I'm not inclined to buy any art right now. Will my attendance be appreciated even if I don't have my wallet handy?
Should I just stay home?

Hello JOHN-O!
Your attendance WOULD be appreciated!
More people at an art show
the more exciting it appears
and that translates into HYPE
and HYPE translates into SALES
or that HYPE can be stockpiled
and used by the artist on a later date...
at a show where real patrons show up....

All the Tiki Artists understand that MOST folks would rather drink free booze
and look at paintings and then,after the event,
spend that hard-earned cash on something substantial
like MORE DRINKS at the corner bar!
It IS a strange thing
how most folks don't flinch at drinking away 75-100 bucks an evening
peeing or vomiting it out the next day
BUT Balk at the mere suggestion of buying art that will provide a permanent joy to their abode...

What most folks don't get
is that the artists will paint and sculpt and carve anyway
BUT sales encourages them to work harder,to get better..

The best thing an attendee can do
when not looking to buy
Is to find a painting they like
and construct a couple of questions about it
to ask the artist...
to show them you've absorbed their piece
but would like some little insights into the process or theme...
Doing that will offset the general air of cheapness surrounding most art show attendees...

And if JOHN-Q (or in this case "O") Public stays at home
then the only people going to an art show would be artists
and that spells TROUBLE,DANGER,and HIJINX....
Please try to make some Art Shows
and Talk to the artists
They'll appreciate it MORE than you'll ever suspect....

Thanks for all the questions,kids!
:)

Dear little lost tiki,

My Mother is coming into town this weekend and I am feeling a bit stressed about it. Can you recommend any specific cocktails that can both entertain my Mother and take the stress off of me. I have lots of drink recipes in my various bar books, but none of them seem to be geared towards my particular need at the moment.

Dear LLT,
How did you happen to have that bit o'trivia in yer noggin about root beer & it's connection to the Navy? Is it because you are super smart, or because you are a trivia sponge, or because you use a good search site, or could it be that as a former Marine you are the embarassing stepchild of the Navy? I'm just asking.... :lol:
Sign me,
Just Wondering in Frozen Florida

On 2010-01-14 09:24, Chip and Andy wrote:
Dear little lost tiki,

My Mother is coming into town this weekend and I am feeling a bit stressed about it. Can you recommend any specific cocktails that can both entertain my Mother and take the stress off of me. I have lots of drink recipes in my various bar books, but none of them seem to be geared towards my particular need at the moment.

Bloody Marys,my friends
It's kinda tomato soup/comfort food in vibe
never too threatening
cause it half plays as a health juice/drink thingy...
and Here's what you need...
Clamato
Pepper rings
Vodka
pepper
hot sauce
Celery Stirring Stick

add as much of ANY of the ingredients as you want
more vodka=louder Mother,remember that!
and Good Luck!

you can also try Baileys and coffee...
have fun!
give momma a hug for me!

On 2010-01-14 11:48, kikekeki shouted out:
Dear LLT,
How did you happen to have that bit o'trivia in yer noggin about root beer & it's connection to the Navy?
Is it because you are
A)super smart
or B) because you are a trivia sponge
or C) because you use a good search site
or D) could it be that as a former Marine you are the embarrassing stepchild of the Navy?

the answers would be B and C

curious with the discipline to investigate things and READ
would be a better A) than "super smart"...
and D) is rhetoric meant to incite hostilities
betwixt the Marines and the undisciplined Squids
and is therefore INVALID....

Thanks kids!

On 2010-01-16 12:28, little lost tiki wrote:
D) is rhetoric meant to incite hostilities
betwixt the Marines and the undisciplined Squids
and is therefore INVALID....

Oop, did somebody say "INVALID"?

Do you think it has any correlation to Divided by Zero?

Dear LLT,
Why?

Thanks in advance for your help. :wink:

On 2010-01-16 12:36, ravenne interjected:

Oop, did somebody say "INVALID"?

Do you think it has any correlation to Divided by Zero?

dear ravers,
Perhaps...
Perhaps....
Lincoln has a gatling gun arm...
your question is INVALID!
:)
Thanks for the intermission!

On 2010-01-16 17:55, VampiressRN cleverly asked:
Dear LLT,
Why?
Thanks in advance for your help. :wink:

Hello VampiressRN!
so good of you to stop by!
Why?

Well, Because!
:lol:
Actually ,woofmutt started this thread as a joke
and now
after 20-some pages
it appears to have no end!
Hope that helped!
Have a wunnerful day,Gals!

Dear LLT:

Will the Reef Bar once again be a truly tiki place to hang out? Will Palm Springs once again be a "happening star-studded" zone of rat packing hipness?

Is it better to pay for sex or get it for free?

On 2010-01-22 21:54, telescopes pondered:
Dear LLT:
Will the Reef Bar once again be a truly tiki place to hang out?

Well....first off...
That's like asking if the Brat pack will be reunited anytime soon....
Certain periods of time contain certain mixtures of PERFECT!
So then, it's up to us Today to find that
perfect mix of elements to create something different today...
The Congo Bar,as it will now be called...
Will carry on the Poly-blend tradition
Mixing Tiki vibe with a feel of the Dark Continent,perhaps?
Not exactly Tiki,but evocative of that period...
But who knows until the unveiling?
Plus it's the PEOPLE who make it truly Tiki!
So i guess you have your work cut out for you!
Gather up the Tribe!
We're headed to Palm Springs!

Will Palm Springs once again be a "happening star-studded" zone of rat packing hipness?

Perhaps...
Perhaps not...
Why chase past glories
when one can create their own?
The only people who look backward
to go forward
are the Eskimos whilst travelling
and that is so they know the way home...
Our Ohana looks back and celebrates the past
so they can create something entirely Tiki
but a newer evolution of the scene....
Will that ,
and the Reef bar
and the Caliente Tropics
herald in Palm Springs as the new hip hot spot?
Only time will tell....
Thank heaven for Air Conditioners!
:)

Is it better to pay for sex or get it for free?

We ALL pay for sex
in one form or another....
nuff said!

Thanks for the questions,telescopes!

Dear little lost tiki,

At some point in the future I will overcome the 1.2 jiggawatt limitation and get my Time Machine running. I know this because my future self already gave my current self a Hi-Five. My question to you is did my future self coming back to congratulate my current self create a paradox whereby the concept of Free-Will has been negated between now and when my future self returns to congratulate current self?

On 2010-01-26 10:21, Chip and Andy perplexedly perplexed:
Dear little lost tiki,

At some point in the future I will overcome the 1.2 jiggawatt limitation and get my Time Machine running. I know this because my future self already gave my current self a Hi-Five. My question to you is did my future self coming back to congratulate my current self create a paradox whereby the concept of Free-Will has been negated between now and when my future self returns to congratulate current self?

Wow!
How cool is that?
getting Hi-Fived by your future self....
During my earlier time experiments
i was once jumped,punched,and mugged by THREE of my future selves...
I can't even tell you the trouble it was to remedy that situation!

Here's a partial answer containing some centuries old secrets.....
Free Will is ALWAYS trumped by a Hi-Five...
Always Did
Always Will...
Can't explain it except in the simplest terms..

Free Will and PreDestination
run along each other side by side
Throughout Eternity....
Depending on the subtle vibrational scale
your molecules radiate
will tune you into one of the two camps...
The Hi-Five,tho,creates a SLAP! a tone that somehow nullifies both
momentarily
and adjusts the body onto the correct designational frequency...
Of course,the Montauk and Philadelphia Experiments of the past
have discovered other crossroads in time and dimension
but we haven't the time for them today....

i hope that helped....
Thanks again Chip and Andy!
You are Time Travelling Pioneers!
HOORAY!

Dear LLT,

GROG recently start dating a girl, and we had sex for the first time the other day. GROG perform the "Dirty Sanchez" on her and now she not return any of GROG calls. Should GROG have waited until the second or third time we had sex to perform the "Dirty Sanchez"?

Dear LLT,
Where is my SoccerTiki?
Thanks in advance.

Dear Little Lost Tiki,

Grog made mention of a "Dirty Sanchez" which I thought was simply an urban legend and not something someone would actually do. So my question is this...

Which is the urban legend? the "Dirty Sanchez"? or Grog?

On 2010-01-31 10:31, Formikahini wrote:
Answered my own question (from the Hawaiian Room thread in Locating Tiki:

On 2010-01-19 18:15, Zeta wrote:

From the back of this postcard (posted by DustyCajun above)

Tropical rain storm... Which was the first bar/restaurant to feature that trick? Who's the inventor?

You're a great sleuth, Zeta! Que detective mas completo!
It seems as though the Lexington beat The Tonga Room In S.F., no?

So, who, where and when?

On 2010-02-05 10:34, GROG bragged unabashedly:
Dear LLT,
GROG recently start dating a girl, and we had sex for the first time the other day. GROG perform the "Dirty Sanchez" on her and now she not return any of GROG calls. Should GROG have waited until the second or third time we had sex to perform the "Dirty Sanchez"?

First of all,GROG...
Adult cavemen should date WOMEN,not girls...
That's kinda illegal in these parts....
things have changed A LOT since the woolly mammoth...
Second....Why am i even answering this!?!?!?
Dating and having sex with girls is highly illegal
and this is a (mostly) family thread!
I don't know what you and your friend Dirty Sanchez have been up to
But this just doesn't feel right....
I'm gonna have to dial the authorities on this one....
Oh dear....

On 2010-02-05 14:36, SoccerTiki exclaimed:
Dear LLT,
Where is my SoccerTiki?
Thanks in advance.

Have you asked your karma,my friend? :)
Actually,Chris.... i have the answer...
it's a bit foggy...
Your soccertiki is
WHERE IT"S NOT SUPPOSE TO BE
at the moment...
I'll report back if i hear any clues....
DougHorne JUST moved to Long Beach
and was talking about
getting his TikiRoom all dialed...
maybe you should pay him a visit
Moai Mafia housewarming Style!

On 2010-02-05 14:59, Chip and Andy asked:
Dear Little Lost Tiki,
Grog made mention of a "Dirty Sanchez" which I thought was simply an urban legend and not something someone would actually do. So my question is this...
Which is the urban legend? the "Dirty Sanchez"? or Grog?

the GROG....
HE is an urban legend...
People speak of a hideous bald creature with bad eyesight
and bone-white hair around his face
and a scalp that shines like a hungry wolf's teeth...
His mating call consists of bad jokes in an almost cartoon-like voice...
The GROG is mostly a solitary creature,usually
ATTEMPTING to mate at least once in their lifetime
before surrendering to poker and naps in their cozy cave....
Despite his oafish appearance,the GROG has and WILL abduct girls
for his nefarious activities...
usually donning a Disney or Simpsons jacket to impress his potential mate....
Despite bad hunting skills,the GROG CAN paint a lovely cave wall...

As for the Dirty Sanchez....
he's real....and that rum our about him is also true...
he was picked up for lewd behavior
and is being processed for deportation....

On 2010-02-08 00:05, Zeta wrote:

On 2010-01-31 10:31, Formikahini wrote:
Answered my own question (from the Hawaiian Room thread in Locating Tiki:

On 2010-01-19 18:15, Zeta pondered:

From the back of this postcard (posted by DustyCajun above)

Tropical rain storm... Which was the first bar/restaurant to feature that trick? Who's the inventor?

You're a great sleuth, Zeta! Que detective mas completo!
It seems as though the Lexington beat The Tonga Room In S.F., no?

So, who, where and when?

HAH?
Wha?
This question is given without much of the context surrounding it...
Congratulations Zeta!
You have BAFFLED the ANSWERER!
may i suggest
this question should remain in its proper thread...
to spill it onto this thread
would reduce this forum to a Tiki Q&A
which it is not....really
It was placed here in Bilge by woofmutt
to create a place where unlikely questions could be addressed and answered
Of course,there are occasional inquiries about Tiki things
and i try to answer them to the best of my ability
but your question stumps me....

Maybe it's time i retired.....

Anyways, thank you all for your questions...
and thank you Tohunga Police Dept for investigating that GROG situation...
and to think i actually HUGGED that guy!

HEY! LLT, it says "ask absolutely anything"... You are a fraud as an answerer!
The question would be:
Who invented the fake "tropical rainstorm inside a bar/restaurant" trick?

Dear LLT,

GROG was dating a woman and would fantasize about her sister when we had sex. Since her sister was her identical twin, and they looked exectly the same, does that make it OK?

GROG
Get better soon Tiki-Kate.

[ Edited by: GROG 2010-02-08 10:37 ]

On 2010-02-08 09:26, Zeta gloated:
HEY! LLT, it says "ask absolutely anything"... You are a fraud as an answerer!
The question would be:
Who invented the fake "tropical rainstorm inside a bar/restaurant" trick?

Y'know.... Zeta....this one was a tuffy....
but i have the answer!
and his name WAS Zechariah Abakoodleweiss...

Zechariah Abakoodleweiss was born in 1852 in Vilktoast, Kovno Governorate of the Russian Empire (formerly the Grand Duchy of Lithpeville, later part of the Polish- Lithpevillian Commonwealth). After graduating from the Rigadigadoo Technical University (then Riga Polytechnicum University of Pre-poly Popsters), at the age of 23 Abakoodleweiss passed his SAT and began an assistantship at the Technical University of Lwówawowa. In 1881, he moved to France where he purchased a villa in Parc St. Maurk on the outskirts of Paris.

There, among other things, he invented the tropical rainstorm inside a bar, a form of the tromp de'loeil, which was patented in 1880, and was henceforth produced by the Swiss firm TROPICAL RAINSTORM IN UND BAR Inc. Among his other patents were the parabolagraph, the spirograph, the electric bell used in trains,microwaveable dinners,plastic vomit,that coin you nail to the floor gag and an electric arc lamp of his own design. Abakoodleweiss published several works, including works on statistics, integrators,drink recipes and numerous popular scientific works, such as one describing his mood swings. He was also hired by the French government as an expert on electrimification and was the main engineer behind the electrification of, among other places, the entire continent of new Guinea. His patents allowed him to become a wealthy man and made him receive the Legion d'Honneur in 1889.

Around that time he retired to a small island near Trégastel, off the coast of Brittany, where between 1892 and 1896 he erected a 15-story Pre-Poly Pop manor. Although the construction works were not finished in Abakoodleweiss's lifetime, the Rum Smugglin Pirate's Den became a notable centre of Poly-Polish emigree culture, housing many notable artists, scientists and politicians. Among frequent guests of Abakoodleweiss were Aleksander Gierymskisan, Władysław Mickieksanewicz, Lereoon Wyymczółkowski and Henrykym Sienkiewicz. The latter became the closest friend of Abakoodleweiss. It was in Abakoodleweiss's villa in Parc St. Maur that he finished his The Cannibal and Tiki Totem in wood, while the Kon Vadis novel, one of the works for which Sienkiewicz was awarded with the Nobel Prize, was written entirely in Abakoodleweiss's hut.

Zechariah Abakoodleweiss died suddenly on August 29, 1900. In his will, he made his faithful pup,Hans the tutor and guardian of his sole daughter Zofia, who later graduated from the London School of Economics and the Sorbonne and was murdered during World War II at the Exlandia Professional Clown camp.

As for Abakoodleweiss's nationality, he was born in the lands which were once part of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth. Some later documents refer to him as a Russian because at the time of his birth, Ukmergė was part of the Russian Empire. Encyclopædia Britannica calls him a Lithuanian mathematician and Poly-popster in its article on the integraph. Others consider him a Pole due to his fluent command of the language, friendship with many leading Polish personalities of the time, and literary contributions in Polish. His surname Abakoodleweiss which has Lipka Tatar Scottish African roots goes back to the szlachta of the Polish-Asiatic Lithuanian Commonwealth under the Abdankastank Coat of Arms...

So there you have it Zeta....
Not much information ABOUT his discoveries
but it sounds like he's your man......

On 2010-02-08 10:36, GROG called from the County jail and asked:
Dear LLT,
GROG was dating a woman and would fantasize about her sister when we had sex. Since her sister was her identical twin, and they looked exectly the same, does that make it OK?

Ernie.... you need a LOVE GURU!
There are lots and lots of rules and simple etiquette to follow
when dating...
First rule
Leave the Siblings out of it...even in your mind
You can always call her AFTER the other sister dumps you..
Second Rule
"Woman" refers to a HUMAN female
and not miscellaneous rodents...

Especially ones with guns!
So... to answer your question....
It IS NOT okay...for so many reasons....

Thank you for the questions!
:)

Dear Liloti,

It's the four AM hour and I was about to make a post in the Can't sleep...araghhhh! thread but before I made my post I asked myself "Is it OK to post in the "Can't sleep...araghhhh!" thread if I was asleep for 4 hours but I'm wide awake now yet I know I'll be asleep again in 45 minutes to an hour? Or is this thread only for people who wish they were asleep instead of awake?"

I realized couldn't say that I was glad I was wide awake at the moment but I also couldn't say I wished I was asleep.

Technically I am awake at this very moment because I can't sleep. So I can literally say "I can't sleep." But I would not follow that statement with "Araghhhh!" because the fact that I can't sleep is not frustrating to me. (Also I would never say "araghhhh", I'd say something more like "argh." Unless I was doing my impersonation of the hilarious comic strip character Cathy and then I would also rapidly wave my arms up and down at my sides while sticking my tongue out.)

I could have read all the posts in the Can't sleep...araghhhh! thread to discern the nature and tone of the thread and then decided whether I was qualified to post in it. But then I though "Why don't I just ask Little Lost Tiki? Deciding these sorts of things is his job, not mine." And so I came to this thread instead.

Does merely not being able to sleep qualify one for posting in the Can't sleep...araghhhh! thread?

Dear Kinny,

I like the smell of shellac. Does that make me weird or is it something else that makes me weird?

On 2010-02-21 04:19, woofmutt droned on and on:
Dear Liloti,

It's the four AM hour and I was about to make a post in the Can't sleep...araghhhh! thread but before I blahblah-bliggity blah made my post I asked myself "Is it OK to post in the "Can't sleep...araghhhh!" thread if I was asleep for 4 hours but I'm wide awake now yet I know I'll blahblah-bliggity blah be asleep again in 45 minutes to an hour? Or is this blahblah-bliggity blah thread only for people who wish they were asleep instead of awake?"

I realized couldn't say blahblah-bliggity blah that I was glad I was wide awake at the moment but I also blahblah-bliggity blah couldn't say I wished I was asleep.

Technically I am awake at this very moment because I can't sleep. So I blahblah-bliggity blah can literally say "I can't sleep." But I would not follow that statement with "Araghhhh!" because the fact that I blahblah-bliggity blah can't sleep is not frustrating to me. (Also I would never say "araghhhh", I'd say something more like "argh." Unless I was doing my blahblah-bliggity blah impersonation of the hilarious comic strip character Cathy blahblah-bliggity blah and then I would also rapidly wave my arms up and down at my sides while sticking my tongue out.)

I could have blahblah-bliggity blah read all the posts in the Can't sleep...araghhhh! thread to discern the nature and tone of the thread and then decided whether I was qualified to post in it. But then I blahblah-bliggity blah though "Why don't I just ask Little Lost Tiki? Deciding these sorts of things is his job, blahblah-bliggity blah not mine." And so I came to this thread instead.

Does merely not being able to sleep qualify one for posting in the Can't sleep...araghhhh! thread?

Yes it would,woofie...
The title of the post represents the OPINION of the creator of that thread
A forum welcomes folks of diverse opinions and insights
so yes....even though you are NOT frustrated with the ocassional bouts of insomnia
bananabobs,the creatoris and may still be ....
so ,as long as you can't sleep,you can post there.....
Thanks for the question!
Vote Cheese and Crackers!

On 2010-02-21 08:42, MadDogMike desperately confided:
Dear Kinny,
I like the smell of shellac. Does that make me weird or is it something else that makes me weird?

Well Mike...
this is kind of a vicious circle situation we gots here....
you are weird NOT because you like the smell OF it
but BECAUSE you smell it...

Here's some facts to ponder....

Inhalation Hazards - Deliberate inhalation of concentrate vapor or mist
of shellac
may cause headaches,dizziness,weirdness and nausea.

stick with gasoline....the buzz is longer-lasting !

NEXT?

On 2010-02-08 09:26, Zeta wrote:
HEY! LLT, it says "ask absolutely anything"... You are a fraud as an answerer!
The question would be:
Who invented the fake "tropical rainstorm inside a bar/restaurant" trick?

Ely Hadley invented them!!!

ask Sven!

YAY!
Thanks Ben!

On 2010-02-22 19:46, RevBambooBen wrote:

Ely Hadley invented them!!!

ask Sven!

That's ELI HEDLEY for those of you who wish to know how to spell the name RIGHT.

:lol:

that's how you spell Ben's kin...
but i think Ben's right!
it was Ely Hadley who invented the
Tropical rainstorm, in a bar....
stealing the original idea from Zechariah Abakoodleweiss...
see above...

Dear Liloti,

I was just tweaking my get-rich-never plan and was wondering how that whole t-shirt thing worked out fer yuh?

-wfmtt-

On 2010-03-04 16:00, woofmutt asked:
Dear Liloti,

I was just tweaking my get-rich-never plan and was wondering how that whole t-shirt thing worked out fer yuh?

-wfmtt-

Dear Woofy!
Actually,it did pretty good
considering that most of the people here are at least 50-75 overweight! :)
They would actually buy them for their smaller friends!
I got rid of a little over half of my inventory
and will probably rid myself of all of them at the
Kon-Tiki next month
BooBen's Garage Sale in May
or Oasis in August!
Never underestimate the power of heckling your audience...
and as for get-rich-never plan
your jungle mafia Dead monkey site on FaceBook seems to help you with you plan!
Onward and Upward!
:)

Dear little lost tiki,

Woofmutt and I were recently conducting a conversation (via PM's if it makes a difference) about Nonsense and the conversation actually made sense.

Aside from the obvious oxymoron (me), how can something so silly(woofmutt) suddenly be so serious(someone not involved in the conversation).

And if I may be so bold as to ask two questions today.... why does the serious break down into silly so easily with only the slightest bit of analysis.

Why does Woofmutt call you "Lolita"? Wouldn't "Diva" be the more appropriate term?

Deer Keenee,
Howe long weel it taak fore Grog 2 spel chek mie poste?

Eye Tank U!

Dear Liloti,

Is it true that if you do "that" you'll go blind?

Woofmutt

EDIT: Hey, no need to answer my question, I just saw GROG's question up above and figured out the answer must be YES.

woofmutt

[ Edited by: woofmutt 2010-03-16 16:26 ]

On 2010-03-16 10:45, Unga Bunga wrote:
Deer Keenee,
Howe long weel it taak fore Grog 2 spel chek mie poste?

Eye Tank U!

What Unga meant to write was:

Dear Kinny,
How long will it take for GROG to spell check my post?

I thank you!

GROG
Get better soon Tiki-Kate.

[ Edited by: grog 2010-03-17 01:05 ]

Dear Little Lost Tiki,
2 questions.
when I tell people that I will be carpooling with Doug Horne and you to the Kon Tiki event, and they have the look of a deer in the headlights, then gasp, then laugh hysterically.

Is that rude of them?
and How should I react?

thanks
Jeff(btd)

OMG! RAOTFLMAO!!!

thought you might enjoy that woofy.
:wink:

Jeff(btd)

Dear Little Lost Tiki,

Where is this "kine" I've been hearing about?