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Disney Entertainment has announced the acquisition of the Santo lucha libre franchise, and the rejuvenated masked wrestler will be returning to the Star Wars universe, as a black transsexual android dwarf who takes on the Empire to combat interstellar climate change.

santo and leia

Santo, himself no stranger to alien threats, stated in a press release that he is "looking forward to serving in the capacity of a social worker, rather than an enforcer" in Disney's struggle to reconcile true evil with its concept of family-friendly entertainment.

santo and alien

In a month when Disney has run afoul of Florida's new law prohibiting public school grooming, and had four of its employees arrested in a Florida child trafficking sting, the company is "eager to distance itself" from a growing public perception of its not-so-family-friendly political leanings. An outraged fringe group referring to themselves as "Imagineers" issued a manifesto of demands, but Floridians breathed a sigh of relief to learn they would not be moving there.

santo and kid

I
Iolani posted on Fri, May 6, 2022 9:48 AM

BRB. Gonna send this breaking news to WDWNT.

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