Lifetime: Television For Tikis!

Yeah, don't get too excited- I think this might be a horrifying experience. Like a tiki snuff film...

There's a new show starting Friday at 8pm PST on Lifetime called "Merge". It's another reality/home makeover series. This time, it's about newlyweds moving in together and trying to fuse their home decorating ideas. The premier episode features Dave, a So Cal guy (Dave- are you out there?) who digs tiki. His new wife digs...well...something that ain't tiki. While they honeymoon, they make over the place.

This being Lifetime, I'll let you guess who's gonna come out on top.

But get this- the furniture and decor that doesn't get kept...

GETS FED INTO A WOOD CHIPPER!!! IN FRONT OF THEIR EYES!!!

Aiiiirrrrgghhh!!!

Like I said, this may prove to be "not for the faint of heart". I have this horrible vision of a Bosko being fed into the shipper by the cackling evil hostess, while Dave, tears running down his face, pounds his fists on the ground, screaming, "My God, what have I done? Why?!? Whyyyyyyy??!?!?!"

Anyway, for more about the horror:

http://www.lifetimetv.com/shows/merge/index.html

I always thought "LifeTime - Television for Women", was a talk show (get it).

I feel fortunate that Madame Bong is as big, or bigger a tiki/hawaiiana freak as me.

I cannot comprehend shacking up,tying the knot, getting hitched, ol ball-and-chain, saying "I do" to a person that isn't into tiki/hawaiiana.

I do hereby now at this time foretell that Dave will kill his new wife within 3 months (and if not, he really wasn't into tiki in the first place!).

We now return to our regular programming...

Yeah, I saw a promo for the show...it actually shows them gleefully feeding what appears to be the last foot or so of a tiki into the chipper...ooooh, I'm feeling a bit faint. I wonder if any mugs bit it as well?

The Horror. The Horror.

perhaps it's time for 1,500 emails to the Lifetime folk to let them know how somepeople feel about them.

-Z

T.V....Bad.

I teasingly tell Wahine Marian this network should be called the "Deathtime channel" since they are always showing movies about:

someone with a terminal illness.
someone who has lost/or is losing a child.
someone who has been battered or abused.
someone who is going to be murdered.
someone who is going to murder.
someone who has been terribly injured in an accident.
someone who is about to cause a terrible injury by causing an accident.
someone who is subject to all of these elements in one program.

How Gawd awful that they have contrived a program that may subject tiki to one or all of these agonies.

[ Edited by: Kailuageoff on 2003-10-01 14:32 ]

I am in the process of starting a tiki orphanage for these poor souls, who’s only crime was to be carved by their creator, and then discarded in some backyard corner, only to be subjected to intolerable elements and termites. There are tikis out there that do not receive the love they so deserve, and is a travesty to all who witness these terrible acts. I am also in the process of starting a support group for battered tikis. These tikis need counseling to measures you cannot imagine. My only wish is that we can rehabilitate them back to normal participants of society. I assure you, this sacrificial display of orphaned tikis on national television shall now go unwarranted.
A TIKI IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE

A Tiki Cheers To You!

[ Edited by: Unga Bunga on 2003-10-01 14:37 ]

The program content on Lifetime generally makes me want to change the channel to Spike TV. 8)

--cindy

Her only line on the promo clip is "...I ABSOLUTELY HATE it..." get used to THAT if you marry her, buddy!

On 2003-10-01 14:32, Kailuageoff wrote:
I teasingly tell Wahine Marian this network should be called the "Deathtime channel"

Katie & I call it the "Psycho Chick Channel", which I guess is really a misnomer because it's almost always the guys who are psycho...just like real life.:roll:

-JTD

For a supposed "network for women", a large portion of their programming is based upon the abuse and degradation of women. I just find that odd is all :)

On 2003-10-01 13:56, spy-tiki wrote:
T.V....Bad.

Spy-Tiki,

Be careful with this statement. I made a similar one and it was not taken with glee...

On 2003-10-01 17:59, Tiki_Bong wrote:

On 2003-10-01 13:56, spy-tiki wrote:
T.V....Bad.

Be careful with this statement. I made a similar one and it was not taken with glee...

Glee......BAD

On 2003-10-01 10:25, martiki6 wrote:
But get this- the furniture and decor that doesn't get kept... GETS FED INTO A WOOD CHIPPER!!!

Oh Boy, not thing like WASTEFULNESS! I'm sure there's someone, somewhere that could use the unwanted "ugly stuff" to brighten up their life. How about auctioning off the goods for a worthy cause?

These "Decorating Lifestyle" show's make me sick! They glorify petty behavior and encourage the nit-wits to destroy perfectly good items because they are out of "fashion". If I hear, "OH, those kitchen cabinets have to go" one more time I'm going to run rampant through "Home Despot" with a Maori war club!

Brought to you by "Lifetime, The Rape and Incest Channel"

[ Edited by: susane on 2004-01-20 06:37 ]

If you go to the site link listed above you can vote if you think they'll have domestic bliss or a horrible mess. I voted for the mess, but the majority of the votes were for bliss (!?!) Just goes to show who their demographic is. I say we all add a few negative votes.

-Z

He obviously is not listening. I doubt that marriage will last if it even survives the show incident and happens at all. Why would anybody want to spend time with another person who "hates" an important part of them?
I guess we'll have to see how important to him it actually is. It may be that it was a frat party decoration leftover which he kept out of nostalgia, not something for which he searched, researched and saved, the way we do a great number of our tiki items. He might easily part with it.

OR maybe we too got 'em as a frat party decoration leftover, but it triggered that "something" inside which began that inescapable death spiral into Tiki Addiction Madness...

[ Edited by: susane on 2004-01-20 06:41 ]

this cracks me up.

i just went to vote and hit the domestic disaster button about 100+ times and it totally took it. yes, you too can stuff the ballot box! in the few seconds it took me to click away - it jumped from 30% domestic disaster to over 40%!

everyone else should do this...

let's send the message - say no to tiki destruction.

[ Edited by: susane on 2004-01-20 06:42 ]

72.8
"traditional" vs Tiki will clash if the guys got a pair.
I once had a similar relationship. When I went to work my ex would "toss" things out in the trash. Not all at once but over a period of time I finally noticed that my collectible collection was mysteriously getting smaller. She blamed it on me "misplacing" things or losing them.
One day a neighbor stopped by and thanked me for a rattan table that he got at a garage sale she had on a weekend when I was working. Doh!

73.5

[ Edited by: susane on 2004-01-20 06:42 ]

I tried to throw a few votes in there, but Lisa Rinna started scaring me.

Well, the ballot stuffing is going well-- my 100 votes only raised "Domestic Disaster" from 74% to 75%. "Happy Home" is down to 17%

Here's to our livers!
:drink: :drink: :drink:

[ Edited by: makemake on 2003-10-02 11:36 ]

I pushed it up to 77.7% (then my finger got tired!)

Personally, I think Lisa Rinna's a hottie, so it kept my attention whilst clicking.

I love the teamwork here! Nice going! Yeah, Lisa is a little scary, isn't she? I think she enjoys chopping tikis up. You can see it in her eyes.

Atomic- I thought I was the only person who called it "Home Despot"! cool.

Anyway, it's just a TV show, but I think (and now I feel like those jackasses who always complain about the controversial movie before they actually see it.) that it once again shows us what incredibly stupid mistakes people make when they get married. Obviously compromise and lifestyle adjustments are a part of getting married. Being rigid is never a good idea. But asking your new partner to discard their lifestyle is not only absurd, it also creates resentment from day one. I hardly think I'm on the progressive cutting edge when I say that people should live together first. I realize that hasn't been a radical notion for at least 25 years, but obviously this show is based on couples who choose the more traditional path of waiting. Talk about learning the hard way. I lived with my wife for six years before we got married. Know what was different on the morning after we got married? Nothing. And that was perfect. Well, except the decline of my standardized deduction- bastards.

Of course, it won't be the whole story. Like all reality shows, it's condensed and viewpoints and statements can get skewed and used out of context.

It will be fun to watch. Tune in, and we'll start a Dave support group on Monday. We'll be the shoulder he can cry on.

Come to us, Dave. We're here for you.

Merge-O-Meter score:

Culture Clash = 6.4%
Domestic Disaster = 80.0%
Happy Home = 13.6%

Take that Rebekah, you quaint, tiny furniture loving, tiki-hating b*tch!!!! The tiki has spoken....and my clicking finger is killing me.

Fortunately the only tiki so far (that I could see) was a $3.95 plastic job that you can buy from somewhere like Target. If that's the only "tiki", than he (the groom) probably isn't worth the trouble to save. But do save the tiki for symbolic reasons.
Anyway: to sum it up for the groom:
MAN OVERBOARD!!!

[ Edited by: susane on 2004-01-20 06:44 ]

Hey Kids, there's also a message board that
we could swamp with complaints or actually maybe have a nice lil discussion about that idea that someone had about auctioning off the stuff for charity. When I looked yesterday the only two posts were from giddy girls sayin how fun that show is gonna be. I think TC should take over the message board. (although it may entail actually becoming a member on the site, which I wouldn't be too joyous about, but, what the heck...)

I pushed it up to 83.5%

:drink:

Okay, up another one percent, and
happy home is down to 9.9
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe

WOW! over 80%

Just shows how when you ask for help from a fellow TCer, they truely deliver. Thanks to all for your focused negativity. I need to go back and do a few more clicks myself...

-Z

[ Edited by: susane on 2004-01-20 06:44 ]

[ Edited by: susane on 2004-01-20 06:44 ]

We may not be able to raise a tiki at Tiki Gardens, but by-gawd we sure can push Domestic Disaster to more than 90 percent!

Instead of feeding it into a chipper they should stuff it into Lisa Rinna's collagen bloated mouth!

I say we take it one step more and bombard Lifetime with emails letting them know our disgust over the show encouraging wastefulness!

Hey I got Domestic Diaster up to 92.1%

SUCK MY ASS Rebekah!

Poor Rebekah, already condemned before the episode airs. Well, fuck her anyway.

:)

Let's see how it goes and we can post all kinds of nasty stuff on the message board after it airs.

On 2003-10-02 12:06, martiki6 wrote:

1. Lisa is a little scary, isn't she? I think she enjoys chopping tikis up. You can see it in her eyes.

2. Tune in, and we'll start a Dave support group on Monday. We'll be the shoulder he can cry on. Come to us, Dave. We're here for you.

1. I think Cherry Capri would make a better hostess. She would do all sorts of loving things for the tikis :wink: whether they were plastic or not.

2. According to the video on the site - it's a Newport Beach duplex - so why isn't Dave a hoity toity yet? I think if he knew how much love and support there was here, Becca would be outta there!

Up to 93.2% for Domestic Disaster!

Quaint tiny furnature Vs. Tiki

Hmmmm...

Hey!
Some of these posts have taken a distinctly anti-female slant, accusing a "chick channel" of defiling a Tiki. I want to remind you all (men) of three things.
1 Many members of Tiki Central are women.
2 The Dave person in this show is OBVIOUSLY a man, it's his fault.
3 I am in touch with my feminine side and I like tiki.
4 If you (men) were not breast fed as an infant, there is still plenty of time to catch up.
OK, that's four, not three.

Well, speaking as a "chick," I can say that I feel no offense. I have three things in common with The Women Of Lifetime and with Rebekah: breathing, a uterus, and breasts.

Wait, that's four, not three.

On 2003-10-02 21:27, Wersmo Derinc wrote:

4 If you (men) were not breast fed as an infant, there is still plenty of time to catch up.

I thinks that is on another channel.

E!

Late night post, please ignore.

[ Edited by: Unga Bunga on 2003-10-03 10:27 ]

On 2003-10-03 00:47, Unga Bunga wrote:

Ya, I’m fucking paranoid;

Yes, you are paranoid. Please tell us what we have done wrong? If folks dislike this show it's their right to voice that opinion . Since this episode deals with tiki TC is the obvious venue for discussion. Most of the post are humorous in nature anyway.

But, I stand by my post. From what I have read about this show it encourages behavior which I believe, in this day and age is unconscionable. AND I encourage everyone who feel the same to write to "Lifetime" and let them know how they feel. AFTER I watch the show I shall let them know what I think.

By the way, Mike can suck my ass too! If he's married to her he gets what he deserves (and the same goes for Rebekah.) When they are miserable in 2 years they'll know what I mean.