Beyond Tiki, Bilge, and Test / Beyond Tiki
1950s Cookbook - Photos & Captions
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Satan's Sin
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Wed, Aug 18, 2004 9:49 AM
A few weeks back Humuhumu was kind enough to share pictures of a charming Baker's Coconut Cut-Up Cakes cookbook. And now, in the words of the Baron in "Andy Warhol's Frankenstein":"I too have a guest to table." The following photos are from my collection of 1950s cookbooks -- along with their captions, reproduced word for word. Enjoy! Faced with the dilemma of a dithering beau? Get that Silly Sammy off the fence and declare your intentions with this "Crazy Cupid Cake!" Any man would get this "message" -- and fast! When middle-aged husbands start wondering what the "hell" they'd done with their lives, a modern housewife knows just what to do! Keep him plied with a never-ending round of these irresistible "Green Goblins" ... and before you know it, the "danger years" will pass! After a hard day of sweating over a hot launch-control panel at Strategic Air Command, what young Air Force officer wouldn't be ready for a heapin' helpin' of "Silo Stew"? We stand at the ready, sir! No modern household is ever short of corks! Ayn Rand smiles in the sure knowledge that communism will soon be on the ash heap of history, and prepares an "Objectivist Buffet" for her husband and visiting lover. After hubby goes to bed, then it'll be time to break out the cocktail shaker and whip up a couple of potent "Fountainheads." And as to what happens after that -- well, as they say: "Atlas Shrugged!" An Easter Feast fit for the Lord! Clare Boothe Luce puts the finishing touches on her latest stratagem: an "Hooray for Red" buffet! Once the wine was flowing and tongues were loosened, this sly little fox will note who praises the color scheme a tad too highly -- and the freshly-uncovered pinko will get quite the surprise when he opens up next week's edition of "Time" magazine! Spent uranium fuel rods power this clever "Atomic Hot Doggerizer." Afterwards, everyone will "glow" with satisfaction! After a difficult day at the mortuary, what man could come home to a spread like this and not find his "spirits" lifted? Mine certainly wouldn't be "six feet under!" Werner von Braun's charming daughters prepare an "A-O.K. Cake" to celebrate daddy's latest rocket launch! And when Herr Docktor comes home, he'll certainly "blast off" when he gets a load of this! Well, wouldn't you? Unexpected guests? What, me worry? Not when there's a gleaming Frigidaire Feast-a-Tron 6000 on duty! Simply initialize the countdown sequence and direct the conveyor belt to the dining room! Just remember to keep an eye on the reactor's core temperature! Could a Five Year Plan and stern Politburo produce a "Freedom Sandwich" half as glorious as this? Eat your heart out, Ivan! Mrs. Robert Oppenheimer lovingly bastes one of the interesting creatures her husband found wandering around Fermi Labs. But better shake a leg, Mrs. O! Dr. and Mrs. Edward Teller are due any minute, and you know how quick they are to make a "critical mass" of themselves! Not meaty enough? No problem! Simply pick up the little flagon of Ham Juice and "sweeten" to taste! Gay suburban "key parties" are all the rage in the 1950s, and the really "smart" way to finish an evening of festive neighborliness is with an exotic cup of imported coffee from Paris, France! [ Edited by: Satan's Sin on 2004-08-18 09:54 ] [ Edited by: Satan's Sin on 2004-08-18 15:33 ] |
TM1
tiki mick 1
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Wed, Aug 18, 2004 10:07 AM
Satan, you ARE a genius!!! These captions are hilarious! The food looks pretty good, too!!! |
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Satan's Sin
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Wed, Aug 18, 2004 10:27 AM
Thank you, thank you ... I've been having too much fun with my daughter's digital camera! |
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Johnny Dollar
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Wed, Aug 18, 2004 10:31 AM
i'm freaking rofl'ing here!!! :D satans sin you are hilarious - and a archivist of hotdog images to boot |
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docwoods
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Wed, Aug 18, 2004 1:51 PM
Satan's Sin,you da modern man! Hysterical!!! I LOVE old cookbooks-the captions and suggestions are priceless.Ayn Rand,however,was NOT a drinker-she said she could never understand was someone would waste their brains like that,so I guess she wouldn't have wanted to be a TC member.Quite the demon smoker,though. |
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Satan's Sin
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Wed, Aug 18, 2004 2:05 PM
docwoods -- I also posted this over at Lotta Livin' and someone posted a link to a website devoted to midcentury cookbooks and unappetizing pictures of food -- it's already one of my favorite websites! |
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foamy
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Wed, Aug 18, 2004 7:34 PM
I would have (and still would) loved to have had a slice (and lived) the atomic-modern lifestyle. Can't help it, that stuff works for me. The cookbooks I use are from the 50's/60's. What a golden time. Or so I like to think. |
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Satan's Sin
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Thu, Aug 19, 2004 8:39 AM
I hear ya, foamy, hear ya loud and clear ... How I'd love to come to my Eichler home after a hard day of -- advertising? nuclear engineering? industrial design? -- to a hot honey in one of those long dresses (capri pants would also do) who'd greet me with a no-holds-barred Manhattan and a technicolor dinner from one of those cookbooks ... then search the three channels on the B&W TV console and watch The Honeymooners ... then switch on the aircraft-carrier-sized hi-fi for some "real" ultra-lounge ... a nightly routine to be broken only by a visit to the nearby Polynesian restaurant or maybe my old Army buddies and their wives coming by for giant steaks and even more gigantic drinks ... sigh .... There was a "Twilight Zone" were a stressed ad exec goes back to Willoughby ... and sees his childhood self in some sort of Disney Main Street world ... maybe it's time for a 21st Century guy to visit his midcentury doppleganger? |
TM1
tiki mick 1
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Thu, Aug 19, 2004 8:57 AM
Bravo Satan! You just summed up my whole ideal existence!!! One of my favorite movies is "the ugly dachshund" (did I spell that right?)by Disney. The party scene in the early 60's backyard, with the chinese lanterns is probably the best scene of all...steaks, ummmmmm!!!!!!!! |
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Stratiki
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Thu, Aug 19, 2004 2:54 PM
Excellent captioning Satan, you have a feel for the 50's. It really was like that, honestly it was. You just can't make up stuff like that. So be nostalgic for it, we move further away every day... |
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Satan's Sin
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Thu, Aug 19, 2004 3:24 PM
Thanks, folks -- your appreciation really means a lot -- For you midcentury fans out there, here's a post from Lotta Livin' I'm sure you'll find of interest: So_Cal_Native_in_Texas
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ZebraTiki
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Thu, Aug 19, 2004 4:42 PM
Is that a dithering beau, or are you just glad to see me? You are a soo-pah genius! There should have been a "beverages may egress through the nose" warning for those of us who slowly realize, "Hey... that's not Ayn Rand..." You may enjoy a book by James Lileks, "The Gallery of Regrettable Food." It has gems like, "For truly distinctive desserts, cook with ketchup." Yikes. |
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martiki
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Fri, Aug 20, 2004 12:28 AM
By god, that's no mortician! That's Trader Vic, dammit! |
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Satan's Sin
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Fri, Aug 20, 2004 9:55 AM
THAT'S Trader Vic???? Now the tiki gods are really going to SCREW ME OVER!!! Which I richly DESERVE!!! That's what I get for being a wiseguy! Knew it! Knew it! Oh, what's the sense in even buying a lottery ticket .... |
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Atomic Cocktail
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Fri, Aug 20, 2004 10:23 AM
...S.A.C. B-52 Pilot or F.B.I. Communist Hunter. |
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Shipwreckjoey
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Sat, Aug 21, 2004 2:08 PM
I think it's time to head on down to the Atomic Cafe and order me up a plate o' that Silo Stew. Bombs Away! |
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Satan's Sin
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Sat, Aug 21, 2004 3:29 PM
Mrs. Shipwreckjoey presents her husband with his first taste of Silo Stew. Shipwreckjoey goes back to the kitchen, dumps the Dr. Pepper, refills bucket with beer. |
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dangergirl299
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Tue, Aug 24, 2004 2:49 PM
hilarious! http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards.html be sure to check out the "Polynesian Snack" |
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Satan's Sin
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Tue, Aug 24, 2004 6:23 PM
Me try Polynesian Snack. Me sure not hungry no more. |
Pages: 1 18 replies