What's the best lie you've ever told

What is the best lie you've ever told to get get something, and what (not counting STDs) did you get.

"i love you"

13 gals later I finnaly found someone who ment it. Yeah I know it's sappy.

"I'm Pregnant" was another one.

"No, really!"

Stupid brain scrambled the title....
Those where lies told to me.

Best lie I've told? I'll have to think on that.

"no, that skirt doesn't make your butt look big. really."

I refuse to answer this topic further on grounds that I might get my ass whupped.

-Z

Well heres a manipulation of the truth I told my fiance.

"I'm meeting up with the guys at Dave and Busters tonight for a bachlor party"."Okay" she said, "Have fun"

Dave and was the place we were MEETING AT TO GO TO the bachlor party. Technically it wasn't a lie but she called me a liar later on when I came home smelling like I swam through a pond of perfume. Geez, you try to be honest and look what happens :wink:

Heres one I fell for from the girlfriend of christmas past.

"No, I haven't met someone else, I just need a little space, thats all."

I'll just have one, bartender

This is sort of half lie/half ruse, but it did the trick at the time. I wanted to go to Reading Rock festival, which started on a Friday, but my boss had already told my friends that they couldn't have the day off.

As phoning in sick from the festival wasn't really an option (due to the noise), the previous evening, I wrote out a note saying I was ill and went on my happy way to the festival. My mum faxed the note across to work on the Friday morning! Festival attended, and my boss non the wiser (until I told him about it once I left the company)

Trader Woody

"My intentions for your daughter are stictly honorable"

"Warner Brothers is interested."

"Wow - that concept is really great!"

• to a client

"Yes, $500 was a very good price to pay" (to a woman I felt sorry for who bought speakers out of the back of a white van.)

(Never, ever, ever buy speakers out of the back of a van, no matter what line's being fed to you.)

-Beatnikine

"I swear that wasn't me climbing out your daughter's window last night"

I know some people are too polite to take what is offered, or are only interested in something if it's not in front of them - so one morning I made pancakes with some roomates, and one suggested I leave some for my sister who was showing up later. So I hid her pancake in the microwave, and when she showed up and saw evidence of pancakes said "I want pancakes!" if I had handed her a plate when she walked in she would have said "no thanks".

so after she declared her position, I pulled out the hidden plate of pancakes and she ate them and my roomates loved it. I've done this with other things I wanted to give her as well, like jewelry.

this also works when you offer somebody some food and they say "no thanks" but they really do want it so you say "I'm just going to throw it away then" and then they take it.

I'm a terrible liar but I can bend the truth like nobody's business.

On 2004-10-20 12:00, Beatnikine wrote:
"Yes, $500 was a very good price to pay" (to a woman I felt sorry for who bought speakers out of the back of a white van.)

(Never, ever, ever buy speakers out of the back of a van, no matter what line's being fed to you.)

-Beatnikine

Is the selling of speakers out of white vans an international scam, i just thought it was done in the U.K., didja use the line..

"Excuse me do you want some speakers, there not stolen, its just we went to the warehouse and we were ment to pick up ten speakers but they have given us ten sets of speakers, so we have too many and they've beeen signed for (show the mark a dispach order all offical looking) so there technically free speakers and were trying to sell them off to make some beer money"

Gigantalope,these are such fun posts.I'd have to say "No!!! I've NEVER seen one as big as yours!".

oh, and:

"can I sit in on your little card game? I'm not very good at it though..."

I once convinced an assistant manager that I couldn't sweep up dry popcorn off the carpet because the mere sight of it once it had been liberated from it's former container would make me throw up! I told him that I'd had a very "unfortunate and quite disgusting dry popcorn incident" that caused this reaction. I think he thought that I was going to cry (or get sick) soon, but my eyes were watering because I was desperately trying not to laugh. The hardest part of it was the line, "Honestly, if it was any other food, I could do it, but I can't even look at loose popcorn!". Sorry Randy!

It's unrelated to the topic but I think
atomictonytiki should start a ghost and creepy story thread since he's from Scotland where the best one's come from.

"I live the simple life by the good word"

I once said that over the phone to a guy who said he was conducting a consumer survey to see what electronics people owned. I figured it was someone looking for their next home to burglarize so I told him I had no stereo, no computer and no TV.

"I'm telling you the truth."

"Yours is the biggest I've ever had."