Why You Should Always Carefully Check The Stuff You Sell at Garage Sales

I found this card and letter in a book I bought at a garage sale this weekend. Vintage is about 1986. By posting this, I have no intention of embarassing the author or recipient (Jay and Tanya who live in Lomita on Huber Street), but merely want to open a scholarly discussion on what might be one of the greatest pieces of hidden literature in recent history.

Plus, since Valentine's Day is right around the corner, I couldn't resist.

[ Edited by: Sabu The Coconut Boy on 2005-01-31 02:46 ]

If you like the above item, I highly recommend issue #1 of 'Dirty Found' magazine.
It is a 80 page publication, comprised entirely of items people have found on the streets, tucked into books, and in other places - with all of the items of this issue being adult-themed. many of the photos within are in full color.

http://www.dirtyfound.com/

Lots of nude Polaroids, X-rated cartoons done by kids, and crazy love notes between people.

The funniest/weirdest items in this issue were a)the drawing of a fez wearing monkey climbing a giant penis b) the crinkled photo of an elderly trio conversing in a living room, one with a foot fetish, and c) photo of the suitcase containing hot water bottles, rubber hosing, and um ... other things.

This magazine confirms that it is a strange world out there.

Vern

Ahh yes! Nothing says lovin'like Alpha Beta! That little cowboy statue "Alphie" (Bob's Big Boy's cousin) was HOT!
I can't find any images of an Alphie statue...where'd they all go?

[ Edited by: DawnTiki on 2005-01-31 14:06 ]

This also serves as a warning to check carefully before putting things up for resale on eBay lest you get busted for selling unsolicited pornography!

At the Record and Tape Exchange in Notting Hill, London, they often display photographs they find in record sleeves behind the counter. It's a shame that with the passing of vinyl, this source of 'Pirate's treasure' is on it's way out.

Trader Woody

On 2005-01-31 13:37, Trader Woody wrote:
At the Record and Tape Exchange in Notting Hill, London, they often display photographs they find in record sleeves behind the counter. It's a shame that with the passing of vinyl, this source of 'Pirate's treasure' is on it's way out.

Trader Woody

All I ever find in my parents LP sleeves are Pot seeds....

On 2005-01-31 14:22, badmojo wrote:

On 2005-01-31 13:37, Trader Woody wrote:
At the Record and Tape Exchange in Notting Hill, London, they often display photographs they find in record sleeves behind the counter. It's a shame that with the passing of vinyl, this source of 'Pirate's treasure' is on it's way out.

Trader Woody

All I ever find in my parents LP sleeves are Pot seeds....

What would you rather find in your parents' LPs, pot seeds or that note?

from the album "Prolonging the Magic" by CAKE:

Alpha Beta Parking Lot

standing in the Alpha Beta parking lot
watching the sun set I'll never forget
watching all the reds and oranges slip away
letting go of yet another dirty day
breathing in the fumes from so many idling cars
right beneath the sign with the dusty yellow stars
watching the sun go down
watching the sun go down
watching the sun wathcing the sun go down

standing in the Alpha Beta parking lot
watching you leave me not quite believing
standing in the alpha beta parking lot
watching the sun set I'll never forget
breathing in the fumes from so many idling cars
right beneath the sign with the dusty yellow stars
watching the sun go down
watching the sun go down
watching the sun wathcing the sun go down

breathing in the fumes from so many idling cars
right beneath the sign with the dusty yellow stars
watching the sun go down
watching the sun go down
watching the sun watching the sun go down

AAAAAGGH!

Too funny, Unga. Just be glad I don't show you the real photo.

You know the relationship is serious when love notes begin with, "I'm at the Alpha Beta right now..." How does that enhance anything that could possibly be written after it, other than, "I just bought you their neon sign before it was demolished."

What's really creepy is despite all it's trailer court qualities, it appears to be written in fountain pen.
That Jay is a regular Mr. Romance!

I find it interesting to note he numbered the pages (and circled those numbers) as well as making the distinction between "love" and "sex" in his opening and closing ("love/sex goddess" and "love/sex slave"). These 2 ideas are separate yet combined. Boy, is she lucky... (?)

I'm not familiar with handwriting analysis, but his neat penmanship and use of circling numbers hints at what kind of occupation ... military? pharmacy? college professor?

and the picture on the card - it seems to be from the 70's or early 80's, before it became common for those in the adult industry to wax/shave everything off. (hairy! ick!) but then, I'm of the "girl scout" generation (obscure Sopranos reference)

there, that will serve as my sadly unused English major deconstruction skill output for the day...

Yes, the numbered pages! Nuthin' says luvin' like sequential numbering.
I'm feeling so sorry for anyone who has parents named Tanya and Jay!

On 2005-01-31 18:42, ZebraTiki wrote:
You know the relationship is serious when love notes begin with, "I'm at the Alpha Beta right now..." How does that enhance anything that could possibly be written after it, other than, "I just bought you their neon sign before it was demolished."

Zebra - Unless, because "Alpha" and "Beta" are Greek for "First" and "Second", he is subconsciously admitting to us that he has only gotten to "Second" base with Tanya so far, and is slyly letting her know that he hopes to explore her "Delta" later this evening.

Sabu, you're giving ol' Jay way too much credit. I think he really was at the Alpha Beta! Or Piggly Wiggly, or Publix (which my uncle pronounces "pubelix" innocently, and my mom yells, "It's PUBlix! you old fool!")

I kind of remember shopping at an Alpha Beta grocery store as a kid. They merged with Ralphs or something in the late 80's.

Any of us could have shopped at the same Alpha Beta where Mr. "Love/Sex Slave" had his mitts on the fresh produce!

I feel so unclean!

So he wrote his 2-page love/sex letter from a grocery store? Perv!

tee hee!

actually, he sounds kind of like a guy I would date...

[ Edited by: dangergirl299 on 2005-01-31 19:43 ]

Well,I give ole Jay points for trying,although I wonder about his "start without me" line.If Tanya started without him,she could finish without him,too.Also,was his schedule so full that he had to write his lady love in the grocery?I'll bet it was near the meat case.

On 2005-02-01 06:42, docwoods wrote:
Well,I give ole Jay points for trying,although I wonder about his "start without me" line.

that line is a pretty direct reference (perhaps unconscious) to the introductory scene with George C. Scott in "Dr. Strangelove." the plot thickens...

On 2005-02-01 06:42, docwoods wrote:
Well,I give ole Jay points for trying,although I wonder about his "start without me" line.If Tanya started without him,she could finish without him,too.Also,was his schedule so full that he had to write his ladylove in the grocery?I'll bet it was near the meat case.

Maybe the Veggie section?

"My cucumber is bigger than that."