Tech Support?

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favourite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
Troubled User. (KEEP READING)

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

sounds like it's time to become a Mac user :)

-Z

To learn everything you need to know about the Wife 1.0 program, study the add-on update "The Sooner You Realize I'm Always Right, The Better Off You'll Be." This keeps the whole system running smoothly, unless the "I Told You So" patch has been installed.

trouble can arise if you try a hard boot with a 3-1/2 inch floppy...

One particularly nasty virus that is often unwittingly bundled with this program is MOTHER-IN-LAW 6.66

this thread so far has been all green star grand members :)

So to keep wife 1.0 and maintain goodlife 6.9
Go to The Apple Store purchase Stealth Girlfriend 7.1
Now just install on your laptop
Never take your laptop home!
Your blue tooth will turn to black eye

or cheaper, just carry around a palm pilot and make sure to hot-sync often.

bawhahaha!!

you guys are hilarious!

[ Edited by: sonofabeach on 2005-06-14 07:44 ]

I've been running on the same operating system for 14 years now and still trying to figure it out myself. I found this book to be very helpful.