What item sets you off?

The little ghetto ghouls, walking down the street, with their pants hanging at their knees. Make me want to puke down their windpipes and let them choke to death.

[ Edited by: doctiki on 2005-05-11 20:42 ]

[ Edited by: doctiki on 2005-05-11 20:44 ]

Loud eaters/gum cracking

People on cell phones period.

People who are speaking English but start speaking Spanish when anyone else walks in the room.

People who leave their dogs in cars on hot days.

Hey Swanky...you fergot about Michelin...bad tires will KILL your baby.

Cheers.

The dog in cars thing...christ...I get upset if people with birdfeeders don't keep them full. (poor bastards are counting on you)

corporate IT nazis who won't let me log onto TC during working hours...

I had to go to a "mart" store with my mom and the aisles were jammed together so tightly you couldn't get two carts side by side through the damn aisles. I could not get through a single aisle without doubling back and trying to find a wider aisle to continue on. Adding to the stress were those GD motorized carts for the lazy asses who don't want to walk. (The people I saw in those clearly were not disabled). This one woman was tearing around like she was on a go-cart track and damn near running people down. I saw her stop, get out and grab something, walk back to the cart and drive off. I seriously wanted to yell something at her but then I quickly calmed myself down and forced myself to just let it go. Absurd.

Okay, this is a generalization, and it's not all the women out in this particular area...but I hate the rude-ass, snobby CALABASAS wifes and/or moms who invade the food court near my work. I'm tired of their loud-ass, snobby-ass, lame conversations, that you can't help but overhear.

Clad from top to bottom in designer stuff. Gucci this, Prada that, etc., etc. They don't care if it looks good or fits, just that it's designer! They care more about the label then discipling their stupid kids that are running around like little pricks. Naw, let the therapist deal with that--what is parenting?

No, too busy talking about their next cosmetic procedure or about the personal trainer they are *cking, and laughing about their dumb-shit husbands, that they will soon be divorcing.

Fake personalities, fake laughs, fake boobs, fake nails, liposucked bodies, botoxed expressionless faces.

One of these days I'm going to go postal in the middle of the food court.

Whew! Glad I got that off my chest.

CheekyGirl

Excellant work...splendid rant.
I can picture these vermin by your description... Do you have to be careful of open flames around them?

The chick decked out in workout couture in her Mercedes. Fights like a wild cat to get that parking spot DIRECTLY IN FRONT of the GYM!! Like walking would put her over her exercise quota for the day!

grocery stores that don't let you eat grapes out of the bin

jus kiddin

You could always weigh yerself when you first come in the store. And then offer to pay the difference when yer leavin.

Yeah, got a little carried away with the rant.

This is funny, one of these women was wearing a "Kui Kui Nut" necklace that you can buy from the ABC Store in Hawaii for about $7.00. She bought it from Sax 5th Avenue for $200.00. She didn't even know what she was wearing, just that it was the all the rage and it was from Sax.

It's all about the label in this area. I love the food court, can't stand snobby people.

The whole "biker" fad that has caught on lately. I'm talking about those guys who never had a real motorcycle before. Maybe they had a mini-bike when they were like 8 years old. Now, suddenly they have to have a Harley and always wear Harley t-shirts and get a tattoo and ride past my house and crank on the thing to make as much noise as their little juvenile act can produce while using the handle bars to improve their "grip" so that they can excel in their other hobby when they get back home from driving past my neighborhood over and over just going nowhere all day.

OK, rant portion complete.
Now, I don't mind the TRUE bikers, THEY KNOW WHO THEY ARE! It's the wanna be's that get me riled cause there are too damn many of them and it seems that it's never more than a couple of days between news reports that another one got killed on the roads here.

When purchasing pretty much anything with a manual/letter that starts off with "Congratulations..."
Why? What did I do? I just find it disengenious.

CheekyGirl it can get worst. I actually work with these woman everyday and have to deal with them. I know I am going to go postal for sure one of these days. Ah, lets not forget the ones who park in the handicap zone and walk over to the gym to workout for an hour or so on the machines!!!!

Having lived in Calabasas for a time, I can safely say: CheekyGirl is exactly right.

This guy:

-Z

I know that guy...he sat behind me at a pub and kept telling the women who would walk by "Really like yer peaches, wanna shake yer tree"

Class act he is.

People who join Tiki Central and pick overly-long, non-tiki user names like "a bigshot government hack in ohio". That just rolls right off the tongue and sounds even better after having a few. Whatever happened to cool names that you LIKE to use when addressing people, like Spermy?

Speakin of "really like yer peaches"...
I have a scar running down my stomach-breast bone to belly button. I was mulling over a tattoo to make it look like a tree with 2 branches ending up at my goodies and "...really like your peaches, want to shake your tree..." across the trunk. Then I'd wear a peach colored bikini top. You get the picture.

Tiki Bot: Perhaps a thread with crappy names for Tiki Central posters?
Why no one has yet picked Pu Pu Platter is beyond me.
I'm doin it.

Introductions would be hysterical.

Hello, my name is "Pu Pu Platter".
You can call me "Pu Pu" or just "Pu" for short.