Answering All Your Questions About the Great White North

What is Poutine? Who was Tim Horton? And do dogsledders have to put money in the parking meter? All these questions and more can be answered here.

Do you eat ice cream ?
Is the Quebec going to be free ?

So do Canadians really say "eh" after every sentence? (Don't you love cultural stereotypes. You are labelled and judged accordingly. Crikey, gotta go, I gotta see a man about a wallaby, and after that im gonna drink a fosters and put a shrimp on the barbie) (no, not the barbi twins)

Why do all of the pot-bellied, middle aged Canadian men insist on wearing speedos when they go to Miami Beach?

Do you use the decibel system?

1. Yes, we eat ice cream.

2. 'The Quebec' may one day be free, but if they do, I am going to launch a lawsuit asking for compensation for all the years of French class I had to take.

3. Yes, I say eh, eh? Just ask anyone who saw me oot and aboot at the SF crawl. 'Eh' is a linguistic extension of canadian politeness - saying 'eh' after a statment softens it by adding the nuance of 'do you agree?' so your statement doesn't seem so blunt and direct. Instead of saying 'Jimmy Buffet Sucks Weasel Balls' you can say 'Jimmy Buffet Sucks Weasel Balls, Eh?' - see, it sounds so much nicer that way.

4. Because all of the pot-bellied, middle aged American men insist on wearing Hooter's T-shirts and socks with their sandals when they come to Toronto.

5. I am a great supporter of the decibel system. Especially when it goes to 11.

[ Edited by: tikifish 2005-08-11 06:59 ]

Why is it that the Qubeckers are always wanting to jump ship from the rest of Canada and why is it that the rest of Canada can't vote to get them out of the Country?

Is Curling (The only Olympic Sport you can do while smoking)on TV there?

Do those White Bears only come out on trash night?

Tell us some Newfie stories!

6. They are trying to keep us away from their delicious Poutine.

7. Yes, curling is on TV. I have curled myself and do enjoy it, for reasons you have already mentioned.

8. Polar bears are far more interested in eating humans than their garbage.

9. A Newfie is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.His friend Doug stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?"

"I got it for my wife, eh." answers Bob.

"Oh!" exclaims Doug, "Good trade."

[ Edited by: tikifish 2005-08-11 07:06 ]

Why is the sport of Nude Curling not taking off like you'd think?

Is the CN Tower the height of 6 football fields, or 5?

Are the Canadians really massing on our borders, preparing to rush across (as William Shatner, Michael J. Fox, Monty Hall, Mike Meyers & Alex Trebek already have) as soon as you can convince us to put Mayonaise on French Fries?

Why do they put Canadian Bacon on Hawaiian Pizza?

Please post pictures of yourself or your family wearing your favorite touques, eh?

Tikifish, Is it true that you dont need a passport to get into Cananda if you have a mullet and are wearing a hockey jersey?

Chongolio the hoser

P.S. My Granny arrives in California today. She is vistin' from B.C. Cool eh?

What the hell ever happened to Milkwalker?

Who would win in a barfight: Honeymoon Suite, Platinum Blonde, April Wine, Loverboy or Bryan Adams with his wingman Corey Hart?

Milkwalker is a Vancouver milk carton mascot from the 1986 Expo.

Body: A milk carton with human eyes & mouth.
Arms: - Loooong E.T. type arms
Legs: Long jointed legs with webbed duck feet.

I swear to God.

I saved the milk carton - but God knows where it is - I will have to start digging....

My family is visiting Canada in February for my mother's 60th b-day. Can you recommend a hotel and restaurant?

:wink:

In an unrelated matter, is it true that prostitution is legal up there?

10. 2 words: frostbitten nipples

11. The CN Tower is the height of 5 ½ football fields. stacked end-to-end. Which means nothing to us, as we play hockey.

12. You can keep them. We don't want them back.

13. Because it tastes closest to SPAM(tm)

14. I have no photos of the type you are seeking handy, as it is 35 degrees c out right now. However here is a picture of my cousin Stephanie and her baby both in toques of sorts. I hope this helps, it's all I could find on short notice. http://www.sunriseadventures.com/aboutus.php

[ Edited by: tikifish 2005-08-11 13:17 ]

15. Chongolio - you don't need a passport to get into Canada if you are a US citizen. All you need is a valid drivers license and birth certificate. Heck, they'd even let you in!

16. I know nothing of this Milkwalker you speak of.

to enter Canada Fish is right, you need proof of residence and proof of citizen ship . a passport will cover both requirements in one document. Same deal for us Canucks heading south eh.

Can you at least take back Celine Deon?

On 2005-08-11 13:15, tikifish wrote:
11. The CN Tower is the height of 5 � football fields. stacked end-to-end.

Are those American or Canadian football fields? :)

[ Edited by: Sweet Daddy Tiki 2005-08-12 17:00 ]

[ Edited by: rodeotiki 2005-08-11 19:53 ]

Wut is moose?

1. Canadian babe on steroids?

2. Jim Carrey as a Canadian babe on steroids?

3. Chocolate stuff you put in your hair?

4. Do you eat moose eh? If you do....YUCK eh.

5. Largest land animal in North America?

my mum knit my ex and I matching skull and crossbones touques and mittens for christmas a couple of years ago..
(and yes.. they actually do live in a log house on a lake by the mountains!)

why do the license plates in Quebec say "buy my souvenirs"?

Smoked Meat Sandwiches?

Are Canadian football fields measured in meters or yards? And are there 100 of them in the field? You guys play on a 3-down system instead of a 4 down system, right? How many yards or meters to achieve a 1st down?

Do you guys want Jeff Garcia back? Inquiring minds want to know.

Is it true that all of the funny people in America are really Canadians?

17. Prostitution is legal; pimping and operating or being found in or working in a "bawdy house" (every place where one or more prostitutes regularly work or where "indecent acts" are performed) are not. Solicitation in public is also illegal, which covers street and hotel prostitution. Massage parlours which provide handjobs or more are semi-tolerated. Generally the best bet are outcall escort services (which operate on shaky ground also, but are legal for both the prostitute and the customer) and independant call girls. Good luck with your endeavour!

18. Finders Keepers. Celine's all yours!

19. The universe is infinite, there is no 'centre'. What are they teaching you in that backwater town you live in, what is it called again, Edwardton... Eddington... Badminton...

[ Edited by: tikifish 2005-08-12 06:34 ]

20. Moose is good food.

21. This is so you remember to buy souvenirs before you leave Quebec. Because surely you have need for a carved wooden beaver, a Bonhomme snowglobe, A t-shirt that says 'Je suis SEXY' and some maple syrup, oui? Other say Je Me Souviens means 'I remember', which to me seems like a thinly veiled threat. Kind of like a license plate saying 'I KNOW WHAT YOU DID.'

22. I will no longer weigh in on football and meat questions. Sorry.

23. If all the funny Canadians are in the US, why am I still here?

[ Edited by: tikifish 2005-08-12 06:44 ]

Is it really true that the bestest women in the whole world come from Toronto? Are bonus points gathered from growing up in "The Pick"?

You really are funny, Tikifish. Can we trade you for Celine Deon?

What's the recipe for ice?

On 2005-08-12 06:42, tikifish wrote:
22. I will no longer weigh in on football and meat questions. Sorry.

Ahhhh, c'mon! Don't make me post a "Well, look at you, Little Miss refusing to answer my questions!" :)

23. If all the funny Canadians are in the US, why am I still here?

You're walkin' right into that one, eh?

1- How did Canada corner the market on Coffee Crisp, and when will you share the wealth?

2- where is the cheapest place in Windsor to find Cuban cigars?

-Z

[ Edited by: Feelin' Zombified 2005-08-20 06:27 ]

Do Canadians name their dogs Hosehead?

Have you been to Elsinore Brewery?

Take Off, Eh! Thanks Tikifish...great thread!

• Coffee Crisp will be sent to the US the day you send us PayDay and 100 Grand Chocolate Bars. We dont know why there is a cross border chocolate embargo on these brands, but we're willing to trade at midnight on the bridge. No funny business. Bring the chocolate in a briefcase.

• I don't know whe cheapest place to buy Cuban Cigars in Windsor. Probably the cheapest place is the one furthest from the AMbassador Bridge.

-I'm sure there is many a dog here named Hosehead, although I've never met one personally.

-Elsinore Brewery. (AKA Molson). Giant vats of liquid gold towering into the sky. A Canadian flag fluttering in the vbreeze the size of 40 bedsheets. Yes. It is a beautiful thing. Not only have I been there, but I work for them quite frequently. How's that for Canadian, eh?

The recipe for ice: Wait until October.

Are there any other comic strips in Canada other than "For Better or for Worse", or does this explain the comedic exodus?

On 2005-08-20 06:24, Feelin' Zombified wrote:
1- How did Canada corner the market on Coffee Crisp, and when will you share the wealth?

Dont forget mcintosh toffee and aero bars..