Tiki Central / General Tiki
Ever wonder what's INSIDE those resin tikis? (pics)
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Bargoyle
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Thu, Feb 23, 2006 5:48 PM
Whats inside those things?? I found out the hard way!! First, a warning to all of the Ohana in colder climates. Extreme cold makes those resin tikis brittle brittle brittle! I figured they were perfect for our New England winters. I could keep 'em outside year round and not have to worry. Oops! Well, we had a real cold spell last week (went below 0 degrees Fahrenheit) and there were wind gusts up to 40 mph to boot!! The wind knocked this guy over (he was only dug in about 3 or 4 inches) and he snapped like a twig. I brought him inside to see if maybe he could be reapired.... and while trying to balance the top back on, I noticed something PINK wedged deep inside his base... I gotta admit, I was IMMEDIATELY freaked out. I jumped back, almost dropping the top half, and then slowly re-approached the base, peering inside from as far away as I could. I thought maybe it was some sort of animal, or nest full of baby animals or something along those lines.....as the shape took focus, my thoughts turned even darker... "what is that??!?!" "Oh my god, its like that movie House Of Wax" "I think there's part of a PERSON in there!!!!" I guess I watch too many horror movies, but when the zombie horde attacks (the ones who don't come in cocktail glasses) I'll be ready for em!!!! Here's what it was... It STILL pretty freaky to me! Pink resin boots?!?!?! I guess it was from some other resin statue, but why the hell is it in my tiki!??!?!!? Or maybe its the pink nubbed boots of some elf who got too close to the resin machine? I'm open to other ideas if anyone has 'em ........conspiracy theories welcome. |
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Kono
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Thu, Feb 23, 2006 5:53 PM
Just glue it back together. Get on with your life and pretend you didn't see anything. OK? It's better that way.... If you do good you'll hear from me one more time. If you do bad you'll hear from me two more times... [ Edited by: Kono 2006-02-23 17:56 ] |
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Bargoyle
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Thu, Feb 23, 2006 5:54 PM
LOL As long as that freaky backward talking midget doesn't pop out of it, everything is cooooool. [ Edited by: Bargoyle 2006-02-23 19:17 ] |
SBOS
Suffering Bastard of Stumptown
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Thu, Feb 23, 2006 6:30 PM
Perhaps the real question that was answered is, "What do tikis eat when nobody is looking?" --SBiM |
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pappythesailor
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Thu, Feb 23, 2006 6:58 PM
Neighbor missing a garden gnome? |
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dogbytes
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Thu, Feb 23, 2006 7:00 PM
The Trojan Tiki ~ the Strawberry Shortcake embryo implanted inside was discovered before her insidious plan could be carried out... |
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Tikisgrl
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Thu, Feb 23, 2006 7:07 PM
I'm spending a little too much time looking at the picture... But that is too strange? LOL, neighbor missing a Garden Gnome!!! Glue it back together and forget you ever saw what's inside... Well it's official we now know what tiki's are made of or perhaps not? Maybe this was a rebel cannibal tiki and it ate it's creator? |
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ookoo lady
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Thu, Feb 23, 2006 7:14 PM
There's no way I could keep that thing in my house after seeing those pink boots inside. It would give me the willies. |
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hiltiki
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Thu, Feb 23, 2006 7:22 PM
The donor sperm was a male pink booth?????and he?/ she? was carrying twins??? [ Edited by: hiltiki 2006-02-23 19:23 ] |
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johnman
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Thu, Feb 23, 2006 7:25 PM
At least now I know where where my daughter's dolls might be when they go missing. Perhaps resin tikis require a steady diet of plastic and feed on Barbies night... |
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procinema29
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Thu, Feb 23, 2006 7:41 PM
OH MY GOD. That is the weirdest, CREEPIEST thing I have seen in months and months and weeks. You should just throw that tiki away! Something is wrong with it~!!!!! I wouldn't take chances. Keeping that thing around is a bad idea. Err on the side of caution. You can always get another one that doesn't have the voodoo on it. |
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Bargoyle
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Thu, Feb 23, 2006 7:47 PM
I didn't get REALLY scared until I heard those mysterious footsteps last night....... |
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Tikiwahine
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Thu, Feb 23, 2006 7:49 PM
That's really frightening! And kind of cool, too bad it didn't have little bits of tiki inside it. |
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Tikisgrl
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Thu, Feb 23, 2006 7:51 PM
No way you can get rid of it!!! What a great conversation piece. Hey guess what's inside of my Tiki? It ate a Gnome & this is all that's left!!! Foot steps he he he... Send him to me! I won't be creeped out at all. |
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badmojo
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Thu, Feb 23, 2006 8:04 PM
Oh man, now it's gonna kill me to not know what exactly lurks inside mine!
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Bargoyle
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Thu, Feb 23, 2006 8:24 PM
Crack it open mojo!!! Maybe you got the head? |
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ikitnrev
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Thu, Feb 23, 2006 8:43 PM
Your tiki ate a 1960's go-go chick, and all that remains is her pink boots! It makes sense - 60's go-go chicks cannot stand freezing weather without a warm coat and other winter accesories, and neither could your tiki! My opinion is that good things usually occur when go-go chicks and tikis intermingle. Maybe not for the 60's go-go chick in this case (the details of the intermingling recipe are still being tweaked), but generally, the outcome is a good one. Field testing in winter conditions are still necessary. Here is the story of what evils can occur, when pink boots exist, with neither tikis or 60's go-go chicks around to counter the evil forces. Vern |
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cynfulcynner
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Thu, Feb 23, 2006 9:32 PM
GET IT OUT.....OUT.....out of the house.....NOW!!! (Perhaps a call to the resin tiki manufacturer is in order.) |
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Tikiwahine
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Thu, Feb 23, 2006 9:42 PM
So, what do you think is in yours mojo? Are you going to make a small hole and check it out? |
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mbonga
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Thu, Feb 23, 2006 11:12 PM
Are you sure the boots are resin? Maybe some little girl was murdered and the murderer was a resin tiki maker and thought it would be clever to get rid of the evidence that way. You may have uncovered crime evidence. That hollow could also be the reason your tiki broke, not because of the temperature or weather. Maybe normally those tikis are solid inside, but somebody hollowed it out for ulterior motives and thereby unnaturally weakened it. I agree: none of that sounds good. It would make for a great Hardy Boys adventure though: "The Case of the Hollow Tiki." [ Edited by: mbonga 2006-02-24 05:29 ] |
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TikiJosh
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Thu, Feb 23, 2006 11:21 PM
That is really weird. Maybe not the weirdest thing ever, but pretty darn close. I like the idea that it's the result of a tiki eating something. Sort of like how owls poop out rodent bones and other undigestible bits. Whatever your tiki ate, the boots are all that's left. Maybe they were a bit too big to pass? |
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midnite
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Thu, Feb 23, 2006 11:30 PM
Whew!!! that's just a picture you took of a broken tiki. Christ, I thought for a second it was a screen shot of my latest colonoscopy. Kicking it up to 50% bran fiber, first thing tomorrow a.m., |
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mbonga
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Thu, Feb 23, 2006 11:57 PM
...or maybe the murderer decomposed the little girl's body in a big vat of resin. They used to use horse parts to make glue, you know. Maybe in somebody else's tiki you'll find her rain coat, in another her gloves. And maybe, Bargoyle, HER FEET ARE STILL INSIDE THOSE BOOTS! God, this line of thought is creeping me out... |
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Bargoyle
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Fri, Feb 24, 2006 6:48 AM
Cut it out mbonga!!! I'm a paranoid freak enough without you egging me on. Great...now I gotta go stick my fingers in the boots to make sure there's no foot in there! Thanks....thanks alot. |
SBOS
Suffering Bastard of Stumptown
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Fri, Feb 24, 2006 6:59 AM
I would think all you'd have to do is smell to determine if there are any feet in there. Unless of course, they are coated in resin. --SBiM |
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ookoo lady
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Fri, Feb 24, 2006 7:34 AM
That's it. I can't look at this post anymore if I want to sleep at night. |
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GatorRob
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Fri, Feb 24, 2006 7:49 AM
Can you guys cut it out already? I'm heading to the Mai Kai tomorrow and now I'm going to be holding my kids close and saying "stay away from the tikis". Fortunately, no resin tikis there. But what about the one in my backyard?!? OMG!! |
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Kaikaina
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Fri, Feb 24, 2006 9:31 AM
What happened to Baby Jane? The mystery is solved. |
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purple jade
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Fri, Feb 24, 2006 10:22 AM
I see a stellar eBay opportunity here... Should rank up there with the ghost in a jar and the haunted baby doll, dontcha think? |
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procinema29
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Fri, Feb 24, 2006 10:28 AM
Well, I was thinking about it, and this is what I came up with. It's probably not the answer, but it's my only guess. Just an idea. It's a hollow tiki made of resin. Easy to topple. Perhaps the boots are made of a heavier material like porcelain, and they were put down in the bottom of the tiki, to weight the bottom down? |
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tikigreg
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Fri, Feb 24, 2006 11:36 AM
Anyone watch "Lost"? The Virgin Mary statues? I think Bargoyle has stumbled upon a "minature-pink-bootie-smuggling-ring"! |
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mrsmiley
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Fri, Feb 24, 2006 11:43 AM
It is ok as long as it is not filled with bits of Benzart tikis! |
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Chongolio
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Fri, Feb 24, 2006 12:15 PM
I read somewhere that Jimmy Hoffa wore pink boots. Hmmmm. Where is Leonard Nimoy when ya need him? Chongolio |
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Bargoyle
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Fri, Feb 24, 2006 12:50 PM
Well, the boots are definately resin...and no feet inside them. They seem to be a pretty thin resin, so I dont think they're adding any weight to the base to keep it upright. And I don't see how they could add support to the outer walls, so I'm really at a loss for WHY they're in there!! I might have to "accidentally" knock over the display of these next time I see them...see if anything is inside the others...I need to know!!!!! Its not good to let my paranoid mind wander.... I'm already starting to think that maybe it was some super toxic batch of resin, and rather than dispose of it properly (and expensively) they just hacked the pieces of the tainted statues up and threw them inside the other stuff they were making...... ....and now poison gas is slowly being released inside my house.... with mutagenic effects that will turn me into some sort of pink-booted melted-plastic man-thing!!!.....Oh man.....I've gone & freaked myself out again. Ok, it's going in the garage until spring. |
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8FT Tiki
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Fri, Feb 24, 2006 3:07 PM
This is pretty weird. It reminds me of a couple of things. First-Years ago where I worked we had this part-time guy who was in seminary school to become a preacher. He grew up on a farm and he told a story about his father putting in a new fence around a pasture. He was digging post holes and I guess they were a couple of feet deep. In one hole he found a childs boot! (Not one of his own kids boots). It creeped him out so much that instead of investigating further, he filled in the hole and went on. Second- My grandfather had a car that had a mysterious rattle in a fender. He never knew what caused it until a fender bender sent it to a repair shop where they found a small wrench that must have been lost by a worker in the assembly plant. The mechanic who found it said he had heard of people finding a bunch of empty beer cans placed inside car doors by auto workers hiding the evidence of drinking on the job. |
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Chongolio
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Fri, Feb 24, 2006 4:00 PM
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ikitnrev
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Fri, Feb 24, 2006 5:59 PM
Another possible theory. Maybe the tiki was OK up until that night. But two people got lost in the blizzard while walking home from the bars. They start arguing, and in a drunken rage, one picks up your tiki and smashes it over the others head, knocking the person unconscious. Thinking he has just committed murder, and in a drunken, illogical act of reasoning, decides to hide the body and the evidence. The pink boots are so bright, that he decides he must get rid of them first. He takes the pink boots off, and tries to stuff them away in some hiding place - and the nearest thing is the now broken tiki. After stuffing the boots in the tiki, the other person starts moaning and then wakes up ... and because they are still drunk, they both decide to scamper away as fast as they can out of there - even though one is now wearing only wool socks on their feet. Perhaps in a couple of days, you will hear a knock on your door, and when you answer, a disheveled person with a tiki-shaped depression still embedded in their forehead will ask 'Say, you wouldn't have happened to see a pair of pink boots lying around, would you?' I think I've watched too many Twilight Zone episodes as a child. Vern [ Edited by: ikitnrev 2006-02-24 18:00 ] |
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mbonga
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Fri, Feb 24, 2006 6:43 PM
OK, but you haven't heard my radiation theory yet. As you know, nuclear processing facilities dispose of enormous amounts of radioactive material, including all the clothing worn by the those who handle such materials. But since the disposal of hazardous materials is so costly, this attracts organized crime, which offers to dispose of hazardous materials at bargain prices. Those organizations then dump the untreated waste in unsafe places such as landfills or using other methods, and make huge profits. You may also have heard of the theory that the reason water is fluoridated is that fluorine is deadly so the secret solution for disposal was to dispose of it a little at a time in public drinking water, under the pretext that fluoridated water helps to prevent cavities. Well, then, put two and two together. Those resin tikis may all contain dangerous radioactive or toxic clothing that is being illegally disposed of, and even being near them could cause radiation sickness or genetic damage. What appears to be resin could actually be radiation hardened rubber: boots made stiff due to prolonged exposure to dangerous levels of radiation. That would also explain the strange melted protrusions on those boots. Bargoyle, YOU MAY ALREADY HAVE RADIATION SICKNESS. And all areas of your house and garden where that tiki stood could also now be radioactive. Worse, since you've publicly acknowledged your discovery with photographic proof, you're now a potential target by organized crime, who of course will have to silence anyone connected with your discovery, and remember: they're highly connected, and they can track you down with ease. Not only yourself but everyone you know could now be at risk. OK, I'll stop now. Just a theory, anyway. Have a nice weekend. :) [ Edited by: mbonga 2006-02-24 18:58 ] |
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pappythesailor
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Fri, Feb 24, 2006 7:25 PM
Judy Garland's illegitimate son is working in a sweat shop in Shanghai since he was captured at the Chosin Reservoir in 1950. His only hope of rescue is to put red slippers in everything he sends to America in hopes that someone will crack the code and get him out. |
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badmojo
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Fri, Feb 24, 2006 7:35 PM
OK, before I went ahead and cracked mine open, I thought I would take a closer look at Bargoyle's pics. If you zoom in a bit, it almost looks like the boots are attached to a base of some sort. But I also like mbonga's Toxic Waste theory. (Thanks Mach!) |
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mbonga
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Fri, Feb 24, 2006 8:31 PM
That's no base, that's an EGG SHELL! Until now we've assumed the reason the tiki was lying on its side is that the wind blew it over. But maybe instead of something outside knocking it over, maybe what was inside was struggling to get OUT. Whatever it was, though, it's gone now and probably hiding out in the next largest nearby structure... :) [ Edited by: mbonga 2006-02-24 20:35 ] |
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badmojo
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Fri, Feb 24, 2006 8:41 PM
I'm now picturing the Terror Dogs from Ghostbusters |
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Bargoyle
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Fri, Feb 24, 2006 9:12 PM
Thats it. I'm raising the house alert to DEATHWATCH PLAID!! It should be ok though, I've quarantined the tiki in a garbage bag. That'll prevent any radiation or spirits from escaping right? right? |
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hewey
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Sat, Feb 25, 2006 3:57 AM
Thats kinda weird. Do you reckon there are people with tikis in there little cermaic dolls? |
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cynfulcynner
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Sat, Feb 25, 2006 4:11 AM
That was my theory too. Maybe the boots were a defective casting, and the manufacturer didn't know how else to get rid of them. |
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mbonga
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Sat, Feb 25, 2006 4:22 AM
I was hoping Bargoyle was going to tell us there was a note inside the boots that read: "Ha ha! Made ya look!" Kind of like those microscopic messages on computer chips that the chip designers expect no one to ever read, but are intended to blow people's minds if they ever do. I wonder if the boots-in-a-tiki thing is like some kind of weird fortune cookie? The metaphorical significance of boots escapes me, however. And breaking open tikis is a rather expensive and wasteful way to read one's fortune. :) |
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BryanDeanMartin
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Sat, Feb 25, 2006 9:14 PM
You should buy a plastic skeleton that's proportionate to the boots and place it in there...then tell people your tiki gets loose sometimes and feeds on its own... |
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Boyaka
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Sun, Feb 26, 2006 4:58 AM
Great..thanks a lot.now I am sitting looking at my Tiki idol wondering if there's something inside?? I'm really tempted to now to drill a long hole to see whats on the dril bit...decayed...foot flesh..lolol. You know..I showed this to my wife..now's she's sort of freaked out about our idol now. Only because we have a baby boy about the foot size of those boots...?? I'm not an expert on Tiki God idol folklore..but does anyone know what Tiki GOd that is...LOve God..Harvest God..you know..which God is it ?? LIve life well.. Spooked out..BOYAKA |