Road trip and cruising stories

Hey everyone

I want to hear your road trip stories and annecdotes. I am sure there are some great ones lurking around here.

We were crusing in my brothers '71 ford on the freeway at about 60mph, and this bloke on a motorbike is cruising alongside. he then goes no hands on the handlebars, one hand extended straight out (as if grabbing a steering wheel), one hand resting on his thigh. He is also bouncing side to side. Looks like he is imitating my brother driving. He does this a few times, each time stopping to look back at us. To this day we still wonder what the hell he was doing...Had good skill, I must admit.

Another time (same trip), a late 50s custom was cruising beside us and gave us a flame thrower show. Very cool. I mean hot!

Whats your story?

Everyone laughs at me because I am different. I laugh at everyone else because they are all the same.

[ Edited by: hewey on 2005-06-30 07:23 ]

Once we were coming back from a car show at a drive in. I was following as my brother was "playing" with an Aussie '70s Mopar. just dragging from the lights and cruising together etc. They come up to a set of lights with a red light camera, and she turns amber.

The Mopar plants it and shoots through. My brother not having this option (standard engine), jumps on the anchors. He locks up the front wheels and the arse of the car kicks out to the side a good foot! Lots of disapproving looks from everyone else at the set of lights

Crystal Chandeleir and I were heading to Virginia Beach for the May 2-4 long weekend (from Toronto). We passed through the Chesapeake Bay area, and all these cars had bumper stickers saying 'SAVE THE CHESAPEAKE'. Finally she turned to me and asked... What does that mean, 'Save the Cheapskate'?

I still use it as my rallying cry.

Cross country roadtrip 2002, me, my 5 year old son (at the time) a very pregnant girlfriend and her 12 year old son, accidentally ended up, smack dab in the middle of a "Dykes on Bikes" motorcylce rally that eventually lead us to a Gay Pride Celebration in the center of Santa Fe New Mexico. Quite a party! All while the state of Arizona was on fire! I have never laughed so much in my life, not because of the fire, a horrible tragic thing, but we really did have alot of fun that day!

After highschool a buddy and my self drove from Calgary to Orange county for a truck show. 2 things stick out from that trip.

One being a speeding ticket in Saltlake city. The officer was angry because he stopped us in the pooring rain, so he made us get out and sit in his car while he wrote the ticket. Here is part of the conversation between my buddy Ken and the officer.
Scene: officer swatting at fly buzzing around in patrol car.
Ken: back home we call those horse flys
Officer: Really, Whys that?
Ken : because their always buzzing around a horses ass
Officer: Are you calling me a horses ass?
Ken: No Sir, but you cant fool horse flys.

Had to go pay the fine right then and there.
Best money ever spent.

The second thing that sticks out was getting lost in Compton, 2 white guys in a lowered sherbert orange truck with Canadian plates. I was sure we were gonna get into some serious trouble.

I sometimes go for long drives with the local Miata club. It's always priceless to see people's reactions as 40 Miatas in a row go by.

The Grinning Miata gets lots of smiles wherever it goes.

[ Edited by: cynfulcynner on 2005-06-18 17:34 ]

in the center of Santa Fe New Mexico

My one time in Santa Fe, it was the Friday after Thanksgiving, and I was looking for a low priced motel to stay - it was late evening/dusk time. I somehow ended driving right by the Town Square in the middle of the city, where there were lots of people hanging around.

Thinking there might be a band playing or someone speaking, I rolled my window down ... and then I hear a voice saying 4, 3, 2, 1 ..... and then the entire square lit up with Christmas lights! It was one of the best welcomes I've had to any city.

Vern

We went to the nostalgia drags yesterday. My brother in his '71 ford, my neighbour in his '67 mustang, and their freind in another '67 mustange, and me in my little beetle.

I was bringin up the rear and watchin the shennanigans. My brother was cruzin with the freinds mustang. The lights change to amber. The mustang goes through, he hesitates, then jumps on the brakes (this sounds familiar!). Lock up just a little.

My neighbour pulls up next to him at the lights, with a cop car behind them! Laughing too much at my brother, they dont see the cop! They tell my brother it was the wrong way to smoke tyres, then plants it with the cop on his ass when the light goes green. 10 seconds later he notices the cop and slows down to a more reasonable (legal) pace.

I had a great time watching this all unfold! And none of us got pulled over

When I was in College a freind of mine owed me quite a bit of money (half my pell grant)which I think he spent at the freelance pharmacy.

One day I borrowed his car before a big party. (which he assumed I was making a beer run for) filled it with a bunch of canned food I got from the food bank in exchange for volunteering, and I was off for the Mardi Gras.

I called him (at San Jose State) from Arizona and told him my scheem, about which he was not happy.

From "Travels With Charlie" I got the idea of heating cans of chili or soup over the exhaust using a coat hanger to keep it in place.

It seemed like it took forever to get there, but I remember being really excited when I past thru Texas into La.

I was feeling peckish at a town called Lake Charles, and pulled off the road to have a feed.

I went into a little store and bought a few things before I realized I was the only white person there, and nobody was happy about me.

I was getting lots of really nasty scowles when I thought I better just get the hell out...I was sort of in a hurry, but as I was leaving a three large fellows followed me out.

I had left the hood open, and my can of chili was there waiting on the side of the engine, nice and steamy...so as I got into the car, I grabed it and shut the hood...(or bonnet for Aussies) The chili was actually pretty friggin hot, and I started having to kind of toss the open can between my hands to keep from buring myself.

As I got in the car, my little fan club noticed the collection of crap I had with me...a Gorilla Suit, a plastic sword, a tuxedo coat... and as they saw me juggling the chili, they sort of went from being pugnacious to amuzed.

One guy actually started busting up and kind of making fun of me

They did inform me there were NO white people around and I should leave, but they were somewhat jokey about it.

The rest of the trip was quite fun...trying to sneek into the Loyola Dorms...the nuns there are like attack dogs. Huge breakfasts by sneeking into the Tulane Dining commons...Drunks, fights, flashed boobs, horrible beer, "Takee Outee" Wierd views of a strange city.

It's funny now as I'm middle aged to reflect on the jaunt. I have a decent job, I'm married to a woman who likes nice hotels (not borrowed Nissans) and I'm able to not live so hand to mouth as I did...Still, it was a splendid time.

My road trip was with my brother, and we were going to visit some cousins and my grandparents who live in a really small town. He hadn't been back there since he was about 5, and didn't remember much about it. We had gotten rid of our rental car at the last 'big' city, and our cousins drove us from there in their very well-used pickup truck and dropped us off near our destination at the general store/post office, as one of our grandparents were going to meet us there to pick us up. The entire time, my brother is grousing about the pickup, and the fact that it's dirty, whine, whine, whine.

We called my grandparents when we got to the single street 'downtown' area, and the big surprise to them was that I brought my brother, whom they weren't expecting. They both get on the phone with him, and my grandmother says, "Well I don't know how we're going to get you both up here... I guess I'll bring the new Mustang."

So my brother is happy, saying, "That's more like it! No more dirty pickups for me!" So we wait, and wait, and wait. Then we go inside the general store and I buy some beef jerky, and my brother buys a bunch of chocolate bars. He's getting really excited about the new Mustang, shows me pictures of them in a car magazine, chatterbox city.

After a while, my grandmother comes in, her hair somewhat disheveled. Hugs all around, and we wander outside. No car. My brother is following my grandmother around the side of the building, and asking her, "So Gram, did you get a convertible Mustang?" Around the side of the building are three horses, two I'd seen before, and a new Mustang. My grandmother just looks at my brother and says, "All my mustangs are convertible. You've been away too long."

Guess who had pockets full of melted chocolate by the time we got to the house.

Just got back from Washington DC. After a hard day on the road my colleagues and I like to get liquored up and exchange road stories and one story was floated that is too good not to report:

My friend claims that the Number One Hooker Capital is Phoenix, not Las Vegas. Beautiful hookers all over the place, dressed so as to look exactly like civilians but they will let you know what they charge for their services should things get to that point. (plus of course gorgeous babes coming onto doofuses is another giveaway that all is not on the up and up)

Anyhoo, my friend was supervising a Johnson & Johnson sales convention in Phoenix and hookers were coming out of the proverbial woodwork during the social functions and so one happy boy, a 12-year veteran of J&J, picked up TWO hookers, went back to his room, and did his thang, as Disco Stu likes to say.

So a "bill" is presented for services rendered and our boy tells the workin' gals to screw off, get out of my room you stupid hookers, ha, ha, there's nothing you can do. Hookers raise an immediate ruckus, so much so that security is called, cops are called, and the harsh cruel light of messy reality has all of a sudden gotten our boy pinned down like a moth in a display case.

Hookers don't get their money, but our man is soon in the head J&J cheese's suite and hearing the magic words "you are fired, fired, fired -- get on the next plane and get the hell out! Jerk!"

And so our boy has to go back home to Utah (he is Mormon!) and explain to his wife and five -- five! really! -- children why daddykins no longer has a place to go during the day.

The moral: pay your hooker bills.

[ Edited by: Satan's Sin on 2005-06-25 08:50 ]

Hey Satan's Sin - love that story. Very good. You reap what you sew and all that. Was just as good the 2nd time round.

I also love driving past kids and watchin them go "punch buggy!" Such is the fun of owning a VW

One night I left a bar in Queens at 2am and headed east to go home. Should have been a half hour drive, but I ended up at a diner 5 mins from home at 4am which was full of homosexuals and one hot blond who decided to share my table. To this day I don't know what happened during that missing hour and a half, and the blonde, who am I kidding, she was way out of my league.

I was in Carencro, Louisiana.

I had just played a round of golf with my Chef buddy who, at the time, was the chef at the biggest and most successful cajun restaurant anywhere.

We were a bit stoned and getting on the ramp to the highway that would lead us back to his house and on the side of the road was a tall girl hitch-hiking.

She was facing the opposite way with her thumb out, wearing a black nightie - with fishnet stockings and long black hair.

As we pulled by, she turned around with this big grin on HIS face. Dude looked like Frank Zappa - beard and all.

We said nothing to each other for about 10 seconds and James finally says - "I think we just saw the devil."

My brother and I have put in easily 350,000 miles together. We've done Florida to Montana twice - Florida to Maine - twice. All over the southeast multiple times - all over other continents - stoney road trips for the day - that sort of thing.

One night we were getting back from a gig and a bit loaded and something streaked across the road in front of the van.

We said nothing.

About an hour later I turned down the volume on the stereo and queried "Did you see..." and he finished my sentence "...A MONKEY!!!"

We had both seen it but didn't want to say anything about it.

I guess the legend of the swamp ape is true.

http://www.sptimes.com/News/050500/Outdoors/The_Swamp_Ape.shtml

My family made a road trip across the Kansas to Colorado in July. Dad knew it would be hot and thought he had a solution for the problem of the ice in the cooler melting so fast. He went downtown and bought some dry ice to put in the cooler. At the time his favorite snacks were fudgecycles and he thought, hell, I can take fudgecycles on this trip.

About halfway across Kansas my brother unwrapped a straw & dropped wrapper on the front floorboard. It got sucked up into the airconditioning system and broke it. It was about 110 degrees and Dad was really pissed.

Then he remebered his treats in the dry ice and decided a fudgecycle would be just the thing. He bit into a fudgecycle & it was frozen so solid it broke off one of his front teeth.

The car was a dark green Ford Tornino with black vinyl seats. Dad was wearing his favorite black shirt with white polka dots (like the one Neil Diamond used to wear). It got so hot in the car that the white polkdots melted and stuck to the front seat.

That old Torino was sold about 20 years later and those white polka dots were still stuck to the seat.

One time i was cruising the main street with Blues Brothers "shake your tail feather" blasting out the open windows. A drunk guy crossing the street started dancing and singing to it and gave me the thumbs up.

Another time my girlfriend, brother and i were doing laps of the main waiting for his girl to get off work. It was the midddle of Winter so we all grabbed our loudest Hawaiin shirts and the best of the Beach Boys CD.

We cruised up and down with those tunes pumping out - man some of the looks we got! All the hardcore rap wannabes, and there we went past. My brother and i also changed all the lyrics to include boobs, much to my girls annoyance :)

Not really a road trip, but a good stunt opf jackassery, a friend of mine from Scotland was visiting. We filled my old scout with dried leaves and drove around some swank parts of town (Saratoga, Monte Sereno) playing bag pipes inside a tornado of circling leaves.

We met no angry rappers to confront tho (Treble kicks bass' ass)

I belive malt products followed

Good stories mates!
Okay, not a story but a bumper sticker I recently saw said...."Keep honking, I'm still reloading" It was a little old lady driving. I thought DAMN, don't want to mess with her.

So many roadtrips over the years...
One of the first I remember was when I was about 10 yrs old. My parents had just purchased a 16' travel trailer, and decided the best way to break it in would be to drive from Richmond, CA to Superior, AZ during spring break, which was 2 weeks long. The plan was to go to the Grand Canyon and camp for a couple of days, then head to my grandparents place in AZ.

We were about 2 hours on the road, near Livermore, and I was watching the scenery go by, when I saw a wheel fly away from the side of our trailer and bounce down a hillside. I said to my stepfather, "I think a wheel just came off the trailer." Right about the time he was telling me I was stupid, the trailer lurched...we pulled over, and sure enough, the trailer was missing a wheel. Wes spent about an hour climbing around on the hillside looking for the miscreant wheel, with no luck. He finally had to unhitch the trailer - leaving us in it (my mom, baby bro, and me) and go into town to try to find another wheel. As it turned out, there weren't any that would be available till the next day, so we spent the night in the trailer on the side of the interstate.

A couple of days later, we were on a long grade leading into the town of Seligman, AZ. Traffic was all backed up (being a kid - I had no idea why and didn't really care). All of a sudden, the car died...just froze up - wouldn't start, wouldn't move, and we were just stuck in the slow lane. Wes was really pissed by that point (he had a VERY short fuse), and he hit the steering wheel really hard - ended up breaking a bone in his hand. Somehow, we got both the car and the trailer towed into Seligman - right about the time it started snowing. Of course, it was Friday night lol and all the auto repair places were closed for the weekend. We stayed in a motel, waited out the weather, and Monday the car got fixed - something like a loose wire was all it was. Unfortunately, we couldn't go see the Grand Canyon because it was closed due to the snow storm.

After that I don't remember anything in particular...so all must have gone smoothly, hehehe. The Spring Break trip from Hell.

amiotiki