Fun with Sheep

Admit it. You thought you were going to get third world sex drawings this time. (See fun with Limes.)
This does bring up my Scottish heritage however.
Why do men in Scotland wear kilts?
So the sheep won't hear their zippers.

You do know that around here that's Fightin' talk.

Why don't Scots count sheep to fall asleep?

Because they want to sleep, not have a wet dream.

What do you call an Scotsman with a sheep under his arm?

A pimp.

You forgot:

Why do Scotsman wear kilts?

Because zippers spook the sheep

Oh, and any instance of Scotsman can be replaced with New Zealander.

In Vermont we use the same jokes, just substitute the town Hardwick(also known for incest jokes, go figure!) How do you practice safe sex in Hardwick? Paint an "X" on the sheep who kick.

What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottish farmer....?

The Rolling Stones sing "Hey, you, get off of my cloud"; the Scottish farmer says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe".

No offense to any Scottish tiki-philes out there....some of my best friends are Scottish farmers..... :)

Once upon a time in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was called Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.