maybe controversial but it needs to be said

We've been skating around teh issues for to long here, if you're not a part of the solution you're part of the problem. It's time for us to deal with a great injustice. Can someone please explain to me why it is illegal to get a moose drunk in Alaska? Were Mooses getting so disorderly that it was needed to pass legislation? And if more than one mouse are mice, why aren't more than one moose meese? I notice from all the Camel Cigarette ads that no one has an issue with Joe Camel drinking and smoking and having a great ol' time, yet the minute a moose tries to cut loose Johnny Law has to get involved.

Sorry folks, I know this isn't the place for voicing the inadequacies of beuracracy, but I jost could't hold it back any more.

My sister was once bitten by a moose.

I had an uncle named "Moose". He got drunk quite a bit...not in Alaska, but in Bakersfield. Maybe your moose in Alaska can relocate to Bakersfield?

On 2003-06-14 16:50, purple jade wrote:
My sister was once bitten by a moose.

Oh I see so someone you know had one bad experience with a moose soo now all mooses must be bad. I feel sad for you, I also feel a little mad, I also feel a little hungry. It's way past lunch. I know a place that serves killer Ostrich burgers. What's with Ostriches anyways, never trust an ostrich, thats what my dad always told me.

On 2003-06-14 16:57, SugarCaddyDaddy wrote:
Maybe your moose in Alaska can relocate to Bakersfield?

Jeez he already can't drink, hasn't the poor animal been punished enough?

Maybe hunters were leaving large cocktails out in the woods so the moose(s) would get drunk and be easier to hunt. That wouldn't be very sporting, so perhaps thats why it was declared illegal.

But if a moose wants to have a few li'l drinkies on his day off, it shouldn't be anybody else's damn business.

Sam, your post confuses and frightens me.

That's not hard to do.

I hate meeses to pieces

I think it's one MOOSE as well as ten MOOSE (works both singular and plural).

My grandfather was the full time bartender for his Moose Lodge (#494 in Ellensburg, Washington). I'd guess he helped plenty of Moose get drunk. I only heard about the Moose doing good things. Maybe in Alaska the Elks and Eagles have some political influence.

And my brother was nibbled to death by an okapi.

Have you ever had Moose head? Don't.

I believe Canada has a similiar law about Gooses (er, ah... Geese) You are not allowed to get geese(s) drunk. So since Alaska is part of Canada, as far as I know. My theory is, it probably started like that kid game "Whisper Down The Lane" You know it started as Gooses in Canada... and eventually when the message got to Alaska it was Mooses. So in reality, or at least in Canada, you can't get a Goose (or a Moose) drunk.

Well, that's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

Moose go crazy for road salt - that's why you see them by the side of the road in spring - so I guess Moose would really like Margaritas with the rim salted... Or the tequila shot where you lick the salt first...

Geese? They'll drink anything. They're worse than Robert Downey Jr.

On 2003-06-14 16:50, purple jade wrote:
My sister was once bitten by a moose.

Mynd you, møøse bites kan be pretty nasti... Why nøt try a høliday in Sveden this year?

TeeHeeHee!!!

"Those who think conventionally will never read my thoughts..." - The Black Lizard

http://www.integraonline.com/~missyvonne/index.html

[ Edited by: Frenchy Polynesia on 2003-06-16 09:31 ]

Jeez it's about time! Thanks Frenchy.

Always happy to be of service, PJ...

Frenchy The Wonder Llama

Then its moose, moose, I want a moose.
I have never had anything quite like a moose.
I've had many women, me life has been loose,
But I've never had anything quite like a moose!

Chief Moose is a Hero!

So... is anyone here juvie enough to recall Moose from the Nickelodeon show, 'You Can't Do That on Television?"

DahhhhIIIIIheardthat...

On 2003-06-16 16:42, Frenchy Polynesia wrote:
So... is anyone here juvie enough to recall Moose from the Nickelodeon show, 'You Can't Do That on Television?"

I don't know.

On 2003-06-16 16:42, Frenchy Polynesia wrote:
So... is anyone here juvie enough to recall Moose from the Nickelodeon show?

No, but I just flashed back to Mr. Moose on Captain Kangaroo compulsively releasing the ping-pong balls and making satisfied little moose cooing noises.

Eureka! I've finally got the grand finale for my wedding: releasing the ping-pong balls.

I'm ancient enough to remember Moosie Drier.

If there is such a crazy law on the books it is because a legislator made it up and tacked it on to another bill he/she was trying to defeat ( such as a tax increase) and thought that the whole thing would be defeated because of the crazy rider. But what ended up happening was the entire bill was passed, including the stupid rider. Thats why there are alot of weird laws out there.

Actually, I am REALLY surprised that Suicide Sam was worried about the 'laws of the moose', rather than the Southern California law being proposed against doing any more lap dances.

Oh believe me I'very concerned with that proposed law. For the obvious reasons as well as I have lots of friends who dance, waitress, and DJ at one of the local spots, The Wild Goose. They are all going to be hurt very badly if this law passes. But I can only take up one casue at a time. I guess it's time to decide, I either back the goose or I back the moose. I guess I got some very serious thinking to do. I'll be at Tiki Ti tonight but maybe I'll give this some serious considreation while I swill at The Goose on Thursday.

Can you give a moose a lap dance in Alaska?

Yes but you have to sneak up on them while their sleeping, do it quick, and if he wakes up run like crazy!!!

Are those antlers, PJ, or are you just happy to see me? :wink:

I was just fondly fondling my old Moosehead beer t-shirt from my college days last night. Sam, maybe you need one of these:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3230696122&category=118

On 2003-06-18 15:13, purple jade wrote:
Can you give a moose a lap dance in Alaska?

I HAVE.

(long story)

I've got nuthin' but time...tell, tell.

On 2003-06-14 17:32, suicide_sam wrote:

On 2003-06-14 16:57, SugarCaddyDaddy wrote:
Maybe your moose in Alaska can relocate to Bakersfield?

Jeez he already can't drink, hasn't the poor animal been punished enough?

Hey, wait a minute...I'm so tired of people thinking we're a little hick town!
We're actually a big hick town.

On 2003-06-16 16:42, Frenchy Polynesia wrote:
So... is anyone here juvie enough to recall Moose from the Nickelodeon show, 'You Can't Do That on Television?"

DahhhhIIIIIheardthat...

Just don't ask for any wa*er!

Check this out: http://www.ycdtotv.de/wlpg/ychr_m01.htm

The drunk moose law is a good one as people in Sweden and Norway know that drunken moose are not to be trifled with. I think our intelligent lawmakers in Alaska are just looking out for our safety. However if you absolutely must get a moose drunk be sure to hang some bells and lanterns from the antlers so people can see and hear it charging toward them.

STOCKHOLM, Sweden Nov 8, 2005 (AP)— They rarely have problems with drunks or rowdy animals, but residents of an elderly home in southern Sweden had to deal with both when a pair of intoxicated moose invaded the premises.

The moose a cow and her calf had become drunk over the weekend by eating fermented apples they found outside the home in Sibbhult, southern Sweden, said Anna Karlsson, who works there.

Police managed to scare them off once, but the large mammals returned to get more of the tempting fruits. This time the moose were drunk and aggressive, forcing police to send for a hunter with a dog to make them leave.

Police did not pursue the culprits, but made sure all apples were picked up from the area, local police chief Bengt Hallberg said. No one was hurt.

Drunken moose alert in southern Norway
Experts are not sure how it will affect moose behavior, but if you meet Norway's 'King of the Forest' in the southern part of the country, he could be intoxicated - and potentially dangerous.

According to a report from the Newspapers' News Bureau (ANB), the reason behind the warning is this year's early snowfall.
A warm summer has led to an unusual bounty from the region's fruit trees. The sudden and early snowfall has left some fruit under snowy cover, while still more remains on the branch. This fruit is fermenting, and also a readily available and tempting source of food for the region's moose.

"This is the first time I have heard that moose are getting drunk. But I assume that they react the same way people do to intoxication - some become harmless while others are the exact opposite," said district veterinarian Paul Stamberg in Kristiansand.

Martin Kolberg, head of the local animal committee in Telemark, warns people to beware of drunken moose.

"Be careful when you approach moose that have been munching apples for days. Their behavior can alter and they can become frighteningly aggressive. Clap and see how it reacts. If it doesn't retreat but instead comes even closer, by all means stay vigilant. It can be intoxicated and attack," Kolberg told newspaper Faedrelandsvennen.

Drunken moose are on the loose in Scandinavia.

Again.

This time it's a family in Sweden having problems with a big, dumb, stumbling ungulate. No word on whether the animal slurs its grunts and moans.

"I am terrified. It can be dangerous when it's drunk,'' Laila von Scheele told Expressen, a Swedish newspaper.

She's afraid to let her children and pets out of the house. Efforts to drive the moose away have failed.

The problem is fermenting fruit. Two years ago, Norwegian officials issued a "drunken moose alert" for southern Norway for the same reason, according to "News from Norway'' at http://www.aftenposten.no.

A sudden and early snowfall buried newly fallen fruit, which then fermented, according to Norwegian wildlife officials. Moose feasting on the fermenting fruit ended up drunk.

Be thankful we don't have many apple or pear trees here.

Von Scheele said the problem in her yard in Sweden this year is fermenting apples from the family's 10 trees. A moose discovered this bounty and moved in. It eats all it can, stumbles around the yard and finally falls asleep, Von Scheele said.

Norwegian officials have warned that drunken moose can be even more unpredictable and dangerous than sober moose.

"Their behavior can alter, and they can become frighteningly aggressive,'' Martin Kolberg, head of the animal committee in Telemark, told http://www.aftenposten.no.

Apparently, drunken moose are a lot like drunken people. Some get overly friendly and some get really belligerent.

And we like to think we have moose problems in Alaska.

Of course, we like to think we have lots of moose too. But not compared with Scandinavia.

Norway and Sweden combined cover an area of about 300,000 square miles. That's roughly half the size of Alaska. And yet those two countries have more than twice as many moose as the 49th state.

Sweden boasts the highest moose density of any country at about 1 1/2 moose per square mile. Alaska, overall, has about three-tenths of a moose per square mile, though there are areas -- like Anchorage -- where the animals are far more plentiful.

By Alaska standards, Anchorage has an unnaturally high moose population, which might have something to do with the fact no one has found a socially acceptable way to kill moose in the city. Shooting them is largely ruled out because some people don't like hunting. Inviting the grizzly bears and wolves in to harvest them is widely unacceptable because everyone fears the possibility of getting caught between a predator and his dinner.

Thus Anchorage's moose killing is done by motor vehicles.

In Anchorage, the cars get the moose. But in Norway, it would appear, sometimes the moose get the cars.

Consider this report from http://www.aftenposten.no:

"Flying moose lands on car's roof

"A leisurely Sunday drive came to an abrupt halt for a couple in southern Norway over the weekend when a fully grown moose suddenly landed on the roof of their car. 'We didn't even have to time to think when there came this enormous thud,' said a shaken Leo Henriksen

"He and his wife were cruising along the two-lane Highway 405 in their little, red Mazda. The couple was a few kilometers south of Vatnestrom when their involuntary encounter with the moose took place.

"The moose, a female weighing about 770 pounds, apparently had been running through the forest when she suddenly came upon a cliff leading down to the highway."

Can you say Wiley Coyote?

"Unable to stop, the moose seemed to literally fly off the cliff, landing first on the Henriksen's car before catapulting further into the oncoming lane.

"The moose-versus-motorist drama ended when Randi Olsen, driving in the oncoming lane with her young daughter, was unable to stop and hit the moose now lying in the road.''

Fortunately, none of the parties involved -- other than the moose -- were seriously injured. The moose died.

Let this be a reminder to always be alert when driving. Remember, moose can come from any direction at any time.

And bizarre moose encounters are funny only if you survive them. Then, they're good for entertainment, as the Norwegians obviously understand.

On http://www.aftenposten.no last week, the "Drunken moose terrorizes family'' story was the site's most read feature.

It was also packaged with a list of related stories that, along with "Flying moose lands on car's roof,'' included these:

• Angry moose chases joggers

• Moose attacked moose statue

• Moose rings twice

• Moose attacks laundry rack

• Moose breaks into grocery store

• 'Dead' moose attacked hunter

• Hungry moose head to town

My mate has a fictional band called something like "who smelt the moose"

But they must have been a 'dry' band... :)

All I can say is thank god we were allowed to get Mooses drunk at one time and I think the law should be overturned. How the hell do you think Bullwinkle got his job? Only a drunk Moose would hang out with a flying squirrel.

Q: How can you tell when someone likes Moose Head?
A: They have scars on their abdomen.