Post #131951 by dangergirl299 on Mon, Dec 20, 2004 11:53 AM

On 2004-12-18 12:46, Unga Bunga wrote:
Office Christmas Party:
After the annual office Christmas party blow-out, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom he was able to make his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise," he moaned, "tell me what went on last night. Was it as bad as I think?"
"Even worse," she assured him in her most scornful one. "You made a complete ass of yourself, succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and insulted the chairman of the company to his face."
"He's an arrogant, self-important prick, piss on him!"
"You did. All over his suit, " Louise informed him. "And he fired you."
"Well, fuck him," said John.
"I did. You're back at work on Monday."

related joke:

man wakes up after a bender. can't remember anything but normally after coming home after a bender, he wakes up in the garage, freezing cold and locked out of the house by his angry wife.

however, this morning he woke up in bed. the house was quiet and the heater was on. a tray of breakfast foods and coffee was waiting for him next to the bed.

he saw one of his kids walk by the door and called him in.

"what happened last night - I don't remember."

the kid said "you came home late last night and while mom was taking off your pants to put you to bed you said 'back off lady - I'm married!'"