Post #200412 by Satan's Sin on Mon, Nov 28, 2005 11:08 AM

Hats. I forgot to mention hats. A hat on a man in a restaurant really gets my goat. Baseball caps, especially. There were many offenders at Margaritaville, and the only thing that's worse (in my book) than an empty-eyed young man sitting at table, elbows astride the plate, grimly working his way through the sorry job that is dinner is an empty-eyed middle-aged man who should know better.

I wish I knew why I take such violent umbrage at this. It is a mystery to me. But like Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer, there is one thing I do know: whenever I see a man wearing a hat in a restaurant I think "well, why not go to the bathroom at the table as well? If taking your hat off in a restaurant is somehow high-falutin' then should we not also abandon the fancified custom of seeking privacy when we relieve ourselves? I mean, monkeys and dogs at the circus wear funny hats and they certainly aren't shy about calls of nature. Why not go whole-hog, o sullen hat-wearer, thou?"