Post #221555 by Rum Demon on Fri, Mar 17, 2006 9:22 PM

Ladieeeeees and Gentlemen!!! Step right up to witness the most tragic conundrums ever to grace the kilnmaster's circle! Yes! It's "Tales From the Kiln!!", a horrifying journey through 2200 degrees Farenheit where no man can survive and few demons escape without horrific deformities!!

Here we have a Fred, beautiful on the outside, but what's this????

A strange POX upon his insides! WTF!! I don't know. Most of these poooor poor mugs have already made their journey through the kiln once before, only to find themselves as bad off, or worse than they were before.

Whygodwhy!!!

Another, avoidable tragedy was the little stands on which we place the mugs in the kiln were apparently not rated for such high temperatures. The result: stands melting and mugs falling into each other, making sweet, horrific love in the kiln. Witness the horror!!

Then there's this handsome fellow...

who looks quite normal...

But then I turn him around and see....

good lord!!! Chunks taken from his bottom! What ever could have happened!? Who would want you now, Fred #32!?

But this isn't the greatest of tragedies, NO!!!! For one particular glaze in which I had held so much hope, I found so much heartbreak!!!!

Well, that doesn't look so bad, butwait!! What's this???

Some sort of horrible leprosy has stricken you!!! And what of your brethren!??

Not so bad, but WAIT!!

Noooooo!!!!

Et tu?? Acne-scarred Fred?

And then there's my favorite... an overly glazed primo whose drips I'd dremmeled for hours only to find...

What? He's standing crookedly...

Noooo he's dripped again... what's an amateur ceramist to do!!!???

Yarrr!! So that's my week. "But where are the Cocos and Pinas in all of this?" you might ask. Well, all of Katie's mugs are low fire. Low fire mugs are much more manageable. Great beaty comes from the mid-high Cone 6 firings, but also great tragedy.

So I'm still trying to figure out what to do about these horrible mutants. The guys that fell into each other are easy enough to fix, but the acne ridden, bubbly, and runny mugs? I just don't know. I guess I could retire them to my garden, to act as gnomes or scarecrows (scareslugs?) and retire their numbers like legends of the NBA. Or I could take the merciful hammer to them and pretend they never existed. None of these feel right, yet something must be done....

In the meantime, happy Hallowe- I mean, happy St Pat's everyone!

-Joe