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Beyond Tiki, Bilge, and Test / Bilge / Inappropriate? Critiques and Feedback requested

Post #340814 by khan_tiki_mon on Sat, Oct 27, 2007 7:05 PM

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I have a little thing going where I write television reviews for my local newspaper. They go on the newspaper's blog and then on occasion one will end up in the Sunday paper. I usually let my wife read them before I submit them and she's a fair if sometimes harsh critic. My last review she absolutely hated, didn't get it, and told me to do a major re-write. I thought it was kind of humorous - she said inappropriate. What do you think? Here's what the review looks like:
"The Unit"
9 P.M. Tuesdays on CBS
By Scott Tennant, age 50, East Syracuse
Episode: Inside Out - Air Date 10/23/2007
In this weeks episode the team is tasked with recovering a computer chip that may have information on it that can prevent a terrorist attack. On the homefront at the Brown household Kim, who's pregnant again, needs some help with chidcare. Elsewhere on base the Gerhardt domicile is a mess. Mack is restricted to the NCO bachelor quarters and can't visit his kids without an escort. Mack's wife Tiffy has been fired from her teaching job. Faced with tough times Tiffy becomes an exotic dancer. I think maybe she should have tried to cut back a little first, maybe cancel the cable, before rushing into her new profession. In general I do approve of middle aged moms pole dancing. We need more mature strippers. At my age I've been to my fair share of bachelor parties but they haven't been as much fun since the dancers started being the same age as my daughter. Of course as soon as Tiffy was set to start dancing Mack showed up at the club. She wanted to know if that was why he couldn't help out more because he was spending all his money on strippers. Ouch! What a disfunctional family. In contrast, and I suppose that was the point, was the healthy and stable home life we witnessed with Bob and Kim Brown.