Post #424200 by Hurricane Hayward on Tue, Dec 16, 2008 1:39 AM

Patience Tiki Centralites, patience. I've been on several expeditions and though my research is still ongoing I now have sufficient documentation to post. My visits to the Polynesian Gardens site have yielded the following ...

The location is not a very well-kept secret thanks to the city of Plantation's crack signage department ...

... Although a translator may be required to decipher the decaying sign at the main entrance:

These and other tikis on the site's exterior were constructed by the natives not from wood, but from some futuristic polymer:

Tikis guard the back entrance as well ... with a lot of help from the local authorities (note signs):

A closer look ...

Lacking any official archaeological expertise, we relied on the crude local nomenclature and surmised that the most important artifacts lie at the center, or "Rec Building" ...

A cluster of thatched huts signaled that we had located one of the outdoor social gathering areas, though little evidence of social activity could be found:

Beyond the huts lie moats and water hazards but still no evidence of wildlife (nice day, though, eh?):

Fountains pay tribute to the ancient Florida god of clear and humid skies:

At last, I have found the "Rec Building"!

But alas it is closed early so its inhabitants can partake in the region's various early bird specials. I'm relegated to examining the various native rules and regulations for clues.

Incredibly cool stationary and logos share space with incredibly urgent parking commands:

I manage to peer into the locked inner sanctum and behold the mighty Witco artifacts, holding court in the grand lobby. So close yet so far. Danger lurks nearby in uniformed sentry. I must move on quickly in search of the exalted game room. But I am thwarted again:

But a simple glance though the windows reveals a magnificent sight. Four lanes of tiki goodness, in pristine condition. But I must make a retreat and try to penetrate the interior on a future mission.

I make a hasty exit to the rear, which is minded by the rare "no-parking zone guardian tikis" ...

I risk a citation and venture closer:

Will Hurricane Hayward's next expedition take him into the Witco motherlode or the belly of the beast? Will he bowl a strike or a gutterball? Will he get a parking ticket?

To be continued ...

[ Edited by: Hurricane Hayward 2008-12-16 01:44 ]