Take the Tiki Psych Quiz - Bilge

WD White Devil Member The Interior, Deep South Pacific Joined: Jun 26, 2009 Posts: 766	WD White Devil Posted posted on Fri, Aug 21, 2009 6:42 PM Tiki Psych Quiz Are you taking this quiz of your own free will? Yes No Aside from Tiki Torches and Coffee Grogs, do you enjoy setting things on fire? Yes No Which of the following have you flicked through without actually looking for anything? a. the telephone book b. The Book of Tiki c. your partner/spouse's diary d. a blank sketchbook Which of the following activities are you best suited for? a. puppet shows b. poodle shaving c. pig sticking d. gene splicing Have you ever tried to play Exotica records backwards to search for hidden messages? If so, did you find them? Yes No In your opinion, is it rude for Tikis to stare? Yes No Some people like to keep a certain quantity of magazines near the toilet. Do you have any of the following in your bathroom at the moment? a. Reader's Digest b. Bachelor Pad c. Tiki Magazine d. Affluent Traveler Have you ever had a meaningful conversation with any of your Tikis? Yes No If you could become any Tiki totem, which would you be? ___________________________ Have you ever been bothered by an over-concern with keeping things (clothing, mugs, tools, TC threads) in perfect order or arranged exactly? Yes No If you had to evacuate your residence within thirty seconds, which single tiki item would you grab on your way out the door? __________________________________________________ Have you ever felt driven to perform certain acts over and over again, such as measuring, counting, arranging, evening-up behaviors (i.e., making sure Tikis are all at same height)? Yes No What is the oddest material you've ever fabricated a Tiki from? a. belly button lint b. expanding foam c. silly string d. _______________________________ Have you ever celebrated any anniversary of having acquired a particular Tiki? Yes No Finish this statement: “When I get upset, my Tikis usually _________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________” Have you ever lied to friends and/or family members to conceal the extent of your Tiki collecting? Yes No Are you in the habit of inspecting the garbage before it's thrown out, or repeating routine actions (walking through doorway, re-lighting cigarette) a certain number of times until it just feels right? Yes No Have you ever introduced any of your Tikis to your family? Yes No How many times have you and your partner/spouse had “alone time” since Tiki first came into your lives?________________ Have you ever introduced a Tiki as “my significant other?” Yes No Is your partner/spouse supportive of your Tiki collection? Yes No Is your Tiki collection supportive of your partner/spouse? Yes No Do you think that your Tikis respect you? Yes No I can't say. Which, if any, of the following statements is true about you? a. The fez is my yarmulke. b. The fez is my dunce cap. c. The fez is my thinking cap. d. I conceal food inside my fez. Which of the following collectibles would you own if it became available? a. A Witco casket. b. A Ku-shaped vibrator. c. A Jimmy Buffett pinata. d. The Martha Stewart Tiki Book. Which, if any, of the following statements applies to you? a. I sometimes mistake friends & acquaintances' faces for Tikis. b. I sometimes mistake Tikis for the faces of dead Presidents. c. I sometimes mistake my partner's face for a Tiki. d. I see Tiki faces in my cappuccino foam. Has your partner/spouse ever heard you utter any of the following words or phrases in your sleep? a. Otagiri. b. Fu Manchu. c. Mystery Girl. d. Don Ho. How often, and in what context, do you think about bamboo? a. I think about bamboo at least twice a day. b. I never stop thinking about bamboo. c. I often think about hacking at bamboo with a machete. d. I think about having intercourse with bamboo. When you construct fantasies, do they involve any of the following elements? a. Erupting volcanos and/or nosebleeds. b. Cocktails with abnormally long straws. c. Tiki mugs with inexplicable hair growth. d. Wahines bathing in coconut milk. Which of the following statements is true for you at the present time? a. I think of sex more than I think about Tiki. b. I think about Tikis more than I think about sex. c. I only think about sex whenever I think of Tiki. d. I try to keep thinking about anything to a minimum. Have you ever shouted any of the following words or phrases while in the act of having sex? a. Hinky Dink! b. R-70! c. Bora Bora! d. Suffering Bastard! Many couples enjoy engaging in erotic photography. Which, if any, of the following statements applies to you? a. I take more photos of my partner/spouse than anything else. b. I take more photos of my Tiki mug collection than my partner/spouse. c. I prefer to take photos of my partner/spouse with my Tiki collection. d. I prefer to dress my Tiki collection in sexy lingerie. Congratulations! You have now completed the Tiki Psych quiz! You should be proud of yourself for this accomplishment: if you have any available, you should attach a gold star to the top of page one and give yourself a great big A+! Some of you may have surmised correctly that there is no scoring on this quiz, since there are no “right” answers. But please feel free to print out the quiz (including your answers) and add it to your Tiki collection.

Tiki Psych Quiz

Are you taking this quiz of your own free will?
Yes
No
Aside from Tiki Torches and Coffee Grogs, do you enjoy setting things on fire?
Yes
No
Which of the following have you flicked through without actually looking for anything?
a. the telephone book
b. The Book of Tiki
c. your partner/spouse's diary
d. a blank sketchbook
Which of the following activities are you best suited for?
a. puppet shows
b. poodle shaving
c. pig sticking
d. gene splicing
Have you ever tried to play Exotica records backwards to search for hidden messages? If so, did you
find them?
Yes
No
In your opinion, is it rude for Tikis to stare?
Yes
No
Some people like to keep a certain quantity of magazines near the toilet. Do you have any of the
following in your bathroom at the moment?
a. Reader's Digest
b. Bachelor Pad
c. Tiki Magazine
d. Affluent Traveler
Have you ever had a meaningful conversation with any of your Tikis?
Yes
No
If you could become any Tiki totem, which would you be? ___________________________
Have you ever been bothered by an over-concern with keeping things (clothing, mugs, tools,
TC threads) in perfect order or arranged exactly?
Yes
No
If you had to evacuate your residence within thirty seconds, which single tiki item would you
grab on your way out the door? __________________________________________________
Have you ever felt driven to perform certain acts over and over again, such as measuring, counting,
arranging, evening-up behaviors (i.e., making sure Tikis are all at same height)?
Yes
No
What is the oddest material you've ever fabricated a Tiki from?
a. belly button lint
b. expanding foam
c. silly string
d. _______________________________
Have you ever celebrated any anniversary of having acquired a particular Tiki?
Yes
No
Finish this statement: “When I get upset, my Tikis usually _________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________”
Have you ever lied to friends and/or family members to conceal the extent of your Tiki collecting?
Yes
No
Are you in the habit of inspecting the garbage before it's thrown out, or repeating routine actions
(walking through doorway, re-lighting cigarette) a certain number of times until it just feels right?
Yes
No
Have you ever introduced any of your Tikis to your family?
Yes
No
How many times have you and your partner/spouse had “alone time” since Tiki first came into
your lives?________________
Have you ever introduced a Tiki as “my significant other?”
Yes
No
Is your partner/spouse supportive of your Tiki collection?
Yes
No
Is your Tiki collection supportive of your partner/spouse?
Yes
No
Do you think that your Tikis respect you?
Yes
No
I can't say.
Which, if any, of the following statements is true about you?
a. The fez is my yarmulke.
b. The fez is my dunce cap.
c. The fez is my thinking cap.
d. I conceal food inside my fez.
Which of the following collectibles would you own if it became available?
a. A Witco casket.
b. A Ku-shaped vibrator.
c. A Jimmy Buffett pinata.
d. The Martha Stewart Tiki Book.
Which, if any, of the following statements applies to you?
a. I sometimes mistake friends & acquaintances' faces for Tikis.
b. I sometimes mistake Tikis for the faces of dead Presidents.
c. I sometimes mistake my partner's face for a Tiki.
d. I see Tiki faces in my cappuccino foam.
Has your partner/spouse ever heard you utter any of the following words or phrases in your
sleep?
a. Otagiri.
b. Fu Manchu.
c. Mystery Girl.
d. Don Ho.
How often, and in what context, do you think about bamboo?
a. I think about bamboo at least twice a day.
b. I never stop thinking about bamboo.
c. I often think about hacking at bamboo with a machete.
d. I think about having intercourse with bamboo.
When you construct fantasies, do they involve any of the following elements?
a. Erupting volcanos and/or nosebleeds.
b. Cocktails with abnormally long straws.
c. Tiki mugs with inexplicable hair growth.
d. Wahines bathing in coconut milk.
Which of the following statements is true for you at the present time?
a. I think of sex more than I think about Tiki.
b. I think about Tikis more than I think about sex.
c. I only think about sex whenever I think of Tiki.
d. I try to keep thinking about anything to a minimum.
Have you ever shouted any of the following words or phrases while in the act of having sex?
a. Hinky Dink!
b. R-70!
c. Bora Bora!
d. Suffering Bastard!
Many couples enjoy engaging in erotic photography. Which, if any, of the following statements applies to you?
a. I take more photos of my partner/spouse than anything else.
b. I take more photos of my Tiki mug collection than my partner/spouse.
c. I prefer to take photos of my partner/spouse with my Tiki collection.
d. I prefer to dress my Tiki collection in sexy lingerie.

Congratulations! You have now completed the Tiki Psych quiz! You should be proud of yourself for this accomplishment: if you have any available, you should attach a gold star to the top of page one and give yourself a great big A+! Some of you may have surmised correctly that there is no scoring on this quiz, since there are no “right” answers. But please feel free to print out the quiz (including your answers) and add it to your Tiki collection.

Post #478668 by White Devil on Fri, Aug 21, 2009 6:42 PM