Post #517463 by woofmutt on Mon, Mar 15, 2010 9:39 AM

"Ohana" has become attached to the Tiki community and means something vaguely like "happy friendly family." Because of its association with a particular group it's a loaded word and one that's used when Person A is accusing Person B of not behaving in the manner that Person A feels Person B should behave. Person A will use "ohana" because he/she figures his/her accusation will have more emotional weight than just telling Person B "You're not being very friendly." ("Where's the aloha?" is a phrase used in a similar manner.)

When someone makes such as an accusation using loaded words he/she is being emotionally manipulative. It's possible that he/she is emotionally immature and needs constant affirmation in order to feel wanted which means he/she relies on the admiration of others for his/her self identity. When he/she feels slighted it genuinely compromises his/her self worth and there may be some lashing out such as accusing a person of not acting like "ohana" or being a "kool kid."

"Kool Kids" is a dismissive term Person A will use when he/she feels there's some group of elites and Person A thinks he/she is being slighted by this group. The actual supposed group probably doesn't think of themselves as a group and would never call themselves "Kool Kids."

They probably also genuinely have no interest in Person A but Person A has never figured out that a lot of people are never going to be his/her friends or think his/her thoughts or work is interesting. Because Person A's sense of self worth is based on how others view him/her Person A will take the indifference of others as an actual attack on his/her person and will attempt to make the others feel bad about themselves by accusing them of being elitist.

Another possibility is that the person accusing someone of not acting like "ohana" is just an ass and lets loose the accusation every time the slightest thing doesn't go his/her way.

Then there's also the possibility that the person being accused of not acting like "ohana" is an ass. If that's the case it would be pointless bringing up his/her unohana vibe because he/she probably doesn't give crap what you think.