Post #594402 by I. M. Transpose on Mon, Jun 20, 2011 5:10 PM

A few intrepid souls and I made a field trip to the Ho Win on Saturday. Here's the place from the outside:

Lots of cars outside, people coming in and out - has to be a good sign.

The inside isn't anything special. Brick walls, a few generic-looking plastic plants and Chinese paper lanterns, and a big Chinese mural on the back wall over the kitchen doors; nothing exotic or Oceanic here.

The menu looks a little more promising. The cocktail list is full of old favorites, and the food offerings are old-school American Chinese and faux-Polynesian. Yum.

We ordered (from left) a Mai Tai, a Pina Colada, and a Suffering Bastard. They looked pretty good (at least none of them were pink), but unfortunately, any resemblance to tiki was superficial at best. The drinks were basically unrecognizable (I'm pretty sure the Mai Tai had lemon-lime soda in it). On the other hand, at least the pours were strong...

Then the food came... and kept coming... and coming... We ordered the Pu Pu Platter for 2, which got us a fire-topped mountain of greasy delights that would have been dinner for two people all by itself, and with the arrival of a "small" dinner for each of us, the table was entirely covered with food. We'd made a good-sized dent in the platter before I took this picture, but the food is still overwhelming:

The mountains of food were exactly what we needed to fight the cheap rum we'd just dropped on our insides. If you like cheap greasy Chinese food and cheap strong drinks, this place is awesome. But if you're looking for a good tiki drink or an exotic Polynesian fantasy, you're definitely not going to find it here.