Tiki Central / California Events / Official Tiki Oasis 2012 thread for TO12
Post #647219 by Spy Chief on Mon, Aug 6, 2012 11:16 PM
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Spy Chief
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Mon, Aug 6, 2012 11:16 PM
In case anyone is wondering what the heck will be going on at Mission: TO12 Take note: you will receive your assignment upon registering with T.I.K.I. The back story you may have missed but will need to be aware of: THE MAN FROM T.I.KI. The Man from T.I.K.I (Tiki Idol Kouncil Investigative) stealthily entered Forbidden Island Tiki Lounge in Alameda, CA, which served as the clandestine mainland headquarters for an international undercover organization based in Honolulu. As part of his cover, he DJ’d at the tiki lounge sometimes, sending out coded messages to fellow agents in the bar via strategically selected Exotica tunes. T.I.K.I was secretly formed decades ago in opposition to the rise of S.O.B.E.R (Supervillains Of Bar Entrance Rejection), whose mission statement was the eradication of cocktail consumption worldwide, since quality booze often makes people feel good, and when people feel good, they’re inclined to do silly things like dance, sing, laugh and make love, which makes them much harder to brainwash, because their minds get way too dirty. S.O.B.E.R. was bent on world domination via subversive sobriety, i.e. secretly replacing all bottles of rum, gin, vodka and related liquids with a synthetic substance that mimicked the flavor of alcohol, but offered none of its emotionally elevating properties, with an alternate “mystery mickey†ingredient that actually induced depression in the drinker. The sinister forces behind S.O.B.E.R. wanted to suppress the general population’s mood, with no solutions to the widespread ennui, so they could easily manipulate the masses into obedient submission. The world’s suddenly sober citizens would be turned into mindless zombies with no wills or souls of their own! Suavely removing his shades and slipping them into the vest pocket of his shiny blue blazer, The Man from T.I.KI. sat in a booth occupied by a very voluptuous young lady with raven black hair, a tight flower pattern dress, and leopard-spotted high-heeled shoes. Her code name was “Fawn,†and her cover was that of a professional go-go dancer, though her true identity was Field Operations Supervisor for A.L.O.H.A., the Association of Lethal Ohana and Hip Assassins. The sexual tension between them was intense, but both were used to this sort of fatal distraction, and though they often strategically exploited their respective sensual skills while on duty, they tried to maintain a platonic professional working relationship. However, they failed in this attempt, as evidenced by their two young sons, who were kept hidden away from their enemies everywhere, so they wouldn’t become pawns in this ongoing battle for the fate of humanity! The Man from T.I.KI. and The Woman from A.L.O.H.A. snuck a quick but passionate kiss before they got down to business, ordering classic Mai Tais from the shapely waitress, whom the Man from T.I.K.I did not recognize as one of his fellow undercover agents, but at the moment, he didn’t give this much thought. “ We’ve decoded the location of their next target,†Fawn said to him. “We intercepted a message that said simply ‘Otto.’ Our crack team cracked the code: O.T.T.O. is actually ‘Otto’ spelled backwards!†“ You’re kidding me, right?†said The Man from T.I.K.I sardonically. “That’s all you got? Our secret baby sons could’ve figured that out!†“You don’t understand,†Fawn said. “Otto spelled backwards stands for Operation Terrorize Tiki Oasis.†“ Tiki Oasis is advertised as a global convention for Polynesian Pop, but it’s actually a secret annual meeting of our field agents from around the world.†“I know!†“Okay, so it not a total secret. So they must plan to take us all out at the same time!†“ Exactly, with a bunch of dirty bombs called R.U.M, which are very difficult to detect. They are going to stash these devices all over the hotel via their own undercover operatives.†“What does R.U.M. stand for?†asked The Man from T.I.K.I. “Well, at first we thought it stood for Rocket Undetectable Missile system, or Renegade Underground Munitions system, just a conventional if deadly weapons cache. But we recently learned these were red herrings, and R.U.M really stands for Ruining Useless Minds. It’s like a dirty bomb that will render all the hotel’s stock of booze impotent at once, and by extension, make the drinkers impotent as well. Then all the agents at the convention will be under the evil spell of S.O.B.E.R., and travel around the world to clandestinely plant and detonate their own hidden R.U.M. devices. Soon every cocktail lounge in the world will be serving nothing but watered down juice instead of high quality liquor!†“That’s insidious!†The Man from T.I.K.I. exclaimed, finishing his Mai Tai and ordering a Navy Grog, suddenly very thirsty. “We’ve got to stop them! But how can we do it by ourselves?†Fawn nodded in agreement. “Fortunately, we’re coordinating with several other organizations to help us, including H.U.L.A. - Hitmen United for Libations and Alcohol, who will be attending the convention disguised as fun-loving party dudes, and T.E.A.S.E. - The Exotic Agency of Sexy Espionage, whose members pose as burlesque dancers. Hopefully our combined forces can stop S.O.B.E.R. from taking over the world!†“But why do they want to take over the world anyway?†“Because they’re mad!†“You mean mad like in pissed off, or mad like in loony tunes?†“Both!†“Man, that’s a dangerous combination!†“ But we have to be careful. Apparently S.O.B.E.R. will strategically designate double agents posing as official organizers of the convention. They have probably already infiltrated T.I.K.I.’s ranks.†“So basically, we can trust no one. Not even each other.†“Exactly.†“Can we still make out sometimes?†“Sure. But right now, we have to make plans for Tiki Oasis. If we’re not successful, this could be the end of the world as we know it…†The Man From T.I.K.I. nodded, took one more sip from his Navy Grog, grew groggy, and collapsed. Fawn signaled to the waitress, who actually worked for T.E.A.S.E. and had drugged the drink, to help carry his unconscious body out the back door and into a waiting sedan, where an agent from H.U.L.A. was behind the wheel. The Man from T.I.KI. was then driven directly to a private jet at Oakland International Airport, where he was smuggled on board, and after the others were strapped into their passenger seats, the sleek plane took off from the The pilot smiled slyly, looking at his silver ring, which sported a decorative skull, and beneath it, the word S.O.B.E.R… TO BE CONTINUED…WATCH YOUR BACK, AND YOUR DRINK!
archival film footage of these agents in action can be seen here: |