Post #766847 by mikehooker on Sat, Jul 30, 2016 2:13 PM

Was clearing some old pics off my phone when I came across this Saturn Room Mai Tai and remembered I never gave the place a review following my visit a couple months ago.

So here's my lengthy, honest assessment, as best I can recall...

I found out earlier that day it was Hanson fest weekend and downtown would be overrun with people so I decided to get a hotel two miles away rather than deal with parking. I walked to the bar along a nice trail beside the highway. Figured I'd make a night of it, drink all I want and Uber back to the hotel. The noise from the outdoor festival was loud from a mile away. As I got closer I saw that there was a stage literally right across the street from the bar and I actually had to enter the festival and go through a cordoned off area to get in. I was hoping for a quiet, intimate visit and assumed the place would be packed. But it wasn't! There might have been a couple people on the patio but only one other group inside. So I grabbed a seat at the bar, took in my surroundings, and gotta say, it was very disappointing. Some fish floats and a plethora of toothy grin home depot tikis. I would have been more impressed if they had spent their entire tiki budget on one or two quality carved pieces than seeing 30+ generic ones. Overall there wasn't much decor to take in. And the big window to the patio was open so the music from the fest was blaring in.

I always enjoy sitting at the bar and conversing with my bartender to get to know their background, talk rum, tiki, and watch them in action. I wasn't really given the opportunity. I started with (I think) a Cobra's Fang. After it was served the bartender said to one of the barbacks he was going out for a smoke. He was gone well over 10 minutes. I had finished my drink before he returned to the bar. Drink was OK. Not bad, not great. Decent enough. When he finally came back I asked him what rums he used. He was like, I dunno, it's like four rums, they batch it. But he went the extra mile to find out for me and confirmed it was actually only two rums. Was surprised the bartender didn't what two rums went into the drink and why it's necessary to batch that. I know some places (like Lei Low) pre-batch their 3-4 rum blends for Zombies and such, and I get that. It's a handy time saver on a drink with a million ingredients. It also allows you to make a proprietary blend if you wanted to keep it secret. I don't think that was the case here.

Anyway, I sipped water for a bit figuring I was staying for the long haul and tried to chit chat but he wasn't really interested, even though I mentioned I had come up from Austin and was really exited to check the place out. The concert ended soon after and people started pouring into the bar. It got loud and obnoxious. The music they were playing in the bar was gawd awful. I don't even know what to describe it as. Maybe it's just what passes for rock these days. Not sure if this is the normal playlist or if they were just catering to the party crowd but it was definitely not what I was accustomed to hearing in a tiki bar.

My bartender didn't pay me much mind once it got crowded so I ended up getting the attention of one of the other guys behind the bar to order my next drink. I couldn't decide where to go so I asked him what his favorite drink was. He said the Mai Tai. I got excited cuz that's one of my favorite drinks to make at home. I've stopped ordering them at most bars cuz they usually disappoint, but hey, if this guy loves theirs, I had to check it out. So wish I hadn't. I won't say it was the worst Mai Tai I've ever had (that distinction belongs to Tiki Tolteca) but it took me about 45 minutes to drink it. When I make a Mai Tai at home, it barely lasts four sips. Small detail, but the upside down lime shell was unsettling to me. The point of the lime and mint garnish is to mimic an island and palm tree. Seeing the pulverized underside of the lime wasn't quite as charming. And he didn't slap the mint.

Anyway, I know I'm nit picking a lot of little details but it's the sum of all these parts that make for a quality experience, and that I did not have. I felt no elements of escapism. Honestly I had a lousy time and decided to cut out. I'm hoping I was just unfortunate to be there on a very off night and the atmosphere is normally more inviting. But as it stands in my memory, I'd rather forget my visit.

[ Edited by: mikehooker 2016-07-30 14:16 ]