Post #802244 by WhiteDevilPress on Sun, Mar 20, 2022 1:21 PM

Disney Entertainment has announced the acquisition of the Santo lucha libre franchise, and the rejuvenated masked wrestler will be returning to the Star Wars universe, as a black transsexual android dwarf who takes on the Empire to combat interstellar climate change.

Santo, himself no stranger to alien threats, stated in a press release that he is "looking forward to serving in the capacity of a social worker, rather than an enforcer" in Disney's struggle to reconcile true evil with its concept of family-friendly entertainment.

In a month when Disney has run afoul of Florida's new law prohibiting public school grooming, and had four of its employees arrested in a Florida child trafficking sting, the company is "eager to distance itself" from a growing public perception of its not-so-family-friendly political leanings. An outraged fringe group referring to themselves as "Imagineers" issued a manifesto of demands, but Floridians breathed a sigh of relief to learn they would not be moving there.