If you were famous

If you were famous, didn't need any money, and the world (not just the tiki world) hung on your every word. What single product or item would you stand up and endorse because it simply kicks ass, has improved your life, makes a sandwich into a banquet, etc.

Well, I don't know about me, but Mrs. TURBOgod swears by the magic eraser.

TiVo.

I can watch TV again.

Two thumbs up for this item. Now I can once again hear my neighbors arguing!

http://www.dreamproductscatalog.com/details.cfm?item=1147

I wish I had thought of NetFlix. I think it could be the greatest thing since sliced bread.
http://www.netflix.com/Default

Honarable mention goes to TiVo!

Satan's Sin hereby endorses the Gobbler Motel & Supper Club in Madison, Wisconsin.

Come on in and set a spell!

http://www.lileks.com/institute/motel/index.html

Wow, the Gobbler Motel is eerily similar in basic layout to the Bali Hai.

I, too, have been impressed and somewhat mystified by the awesome power of the magic Eraser.

A single product to endorse, hmmmmm...

Weber Grills

I gotta add:

Whammo for making Frisbees and Innova for making great disc golf discs.

I don't have a product or item, but I think that a mandatory 37 hour work week and 6 weeks of vacation would be nice for everyone....

Matt

On 2004-08-24 08:34, Gigantalope wrote:
If you were famous, didn't need any money, and the world (not just the tiki world) hung on your every word. What single product or item would you stand up and endorse because it simply kicks ass, has improved your life, makes a sandwich into a banquet, etc.

Luigi's pizza (local. Harrison Twp., MI)

Sky Chairs:
http://www.skychairs.com/
(even if they are made by hippies)

-Z

Steve Barton's Music, he is one of my good friends in Orlando. Its acoustic with a little rock, rhythm & blues. Intelligent lyrics all original home grown American music. It definitely fits the kick ass category.

http://www.bartonium.com

I'd endorse Dyson vacuum cleaners.

They Really Suck! :D

Nicky Beans Coffee (it will knock you on your Ass)

unscented Downey fabric softener - makes your towels super fluffy - use the Downey ball

And, I'm not a smoker, and I discourage smoking, but based upon my review of every report and literature on smoking pursuant to a job I had for the tobacco litigation, I would recommend, if you smoke, smoking American Spirits - additive free is the way to go - the additives are what causes the bulk of damage to your body, and enforce the addiction. If you're not going to quit, for the love of god, at least go additive free.

Then, for the love of god, quit smoking.

I've been smoking for 10 years and my lung feels great! I smoke when I'm runnin' and I even smoke during sex. Sometimes the ashtray slips off her a$$, but give her a little singe and everything is copesetic.

I would like to fully endorse the TIKI BONG by WHATCO.

The TIKI BONG is the ultimate brain teaser with over 3000 changing patterns and countless strategies to baffle even the most experienced players.

The TIKI BONG leaves your breath MINTY FRESH and contains absolutely NO CARBS. It is digested smoothly and encourages regular bowel-movements. The TIKI BONG is approved by over 23 Yogurt manufacturers and works with most electric ICE CREAM makers.

The TIKI BONG has been wildly successful in foreign markets where it has been alternately marketed as "Le Bong","Chips Suisse" and "David Hasselhoff".

With the optional MENEHUNE MODULE, the TIKI BONG can play countless variations of the song, "LA MACARENA". Which makes it a sure hit at parties and funerals.

The majority of complaints against the BONG have been made by confused consumers who have tried to use it for purposes for which it was not originally intended.

THE TIKI BONG WAS NEVER INTENDED TO BE USED:

As an ANALGESIC.
As a BIRTH-CONTROL DEVICE.
At Any REPUBLICAN CONVENTION.
As a FLOATATION DEVICE (This means you, Baxdog).
For SYMPATHY.
As an IMPARTIAL WITNESS.
In conjunction with MYSTIC HEALING CANDLES.
As replacement for a PERSONAL FAITH IN JESUS.

It conforms only to its own standards and cannot be counted on to conform to those of others. The TIKI BONG does not always PLAY NICE, but it does PLAY FOREVER, (at least with the optional extended warranty).

The TIKI BONG is intended for women between the ages of X and Y, where "X" is an obscure variable used in the sport of "Algebra" and "Y" is difference between 3 and 4 cocktails.

TIKI BONG now comes in an AEROSOL that gets into your hair much more effectively and is almost impossible to wash out.

The TIKI BONG has personally changed my life and it can change yours. I know there are other members of this group who can attest to its MIRACULOUS POWERS.

(No monetary or sexual payment was provided in exhange for this endorsement. Any monetary or sexual favors exchanged were soley the express purposes of mutual enjoyment and are protected by law.)

Sabu

I’m sold,
I just ordered a Tiki Bong for my next party.

Mac, Alka-Seltzer, Diet Coke and CD's. Though, CD's should come in album covers.

Yes,the magic eraser IS magic-but if I really didn't need the money and I didn't give a hang about what other people thought of me,then I guess I'd endorse any product by Ron Popeill.Hair in a can,the pocket fisherman,etc.Stuff you never really knew you needed,but after a half hour extremely entertaining infomercial,you don't think you'll breath again UNLESS you call in the next ten minutes with your credit card ready.That's what I'd endorse.

Early 20th C. Swedish Mausers, International Harvester Scouts, malt products from Islay, and maybe the low-brow reintorduction of Mini Bikes.

The chocolate chip cookies at Burger King. Two for a dollar. They're good.

Tanqueray and Ambien. Not necessarily together... but you get the idea.

My life has only gotten better!

-T.J.

I'd refrain from being seen as a "sell out" by my fellow Americans by only doing commercials in Japan-

http://www.japander.com/japander/index.htm

I'd say "Buy a turntable, kids. Vinyl rules. Digital music is like listening to a fax machine".

Then my 15 minutes of fame would end 10 minutes early.

Trader Woody

If I only had the marketing horsepower, my money would be on introducing America to these products direct from Japan....

Dust and Shake - You've heard of Shake 'n Vac, but here's an even better way to put the freshness back into tedious household chores. Before dusting, fill the Dust and Shake with three parts gin, a dash of Martini (?), and half a dozen cracked ice cubes. Dust vigorously, then strain your chore-rewarding dry Martini into a glass, and put your feet up. Then get up, refill, and start on the next room. Your household chores will soon begin to seem like one long party.

Eye Drop Funnel Glasses - Why is the application of eye-drops so problematic? You open your eyes wide, stare straight up at a bulging droplet, squeeze the bottle, and wait for gravity to do its job. Yet the next sensation you ave is of the cool expensive medicine trickling down the side of your face. It's enough to make you weep. These specially customized glasses guarantee no-more-tears eye drop application. No need for accuracy. Provided the solution makes it into the funnels, you'll score a bulls-eye every time.

Rotating Spaghetti Fork - The inventor of the tradition of eating spaghetti with a fork must have been a real practical joker. How is it possible to eat spaghetti and retain your dignity? At long last, the Rotating Spaghetti Fork is the answer. With two small batteries and a motor that doesn't spin to fast in your utensil, you can turn pasta consumption into a smoother and more enjoyable enterprise.

Solar Powered Flashlight - Dispense with batteries. Take one solar panel and a torch and see how easy it is to harness light from the sun, converting it into six volts of pure power and a bright beam.

Portable Commuter Seat - We all like to get a seat on a crowded train. But some of us don't want to fight for it (and some of us who do want to fight for it always seem to lose). As so often in life, the solution is to bring your own. The Portable Commuter Seat fits snuggly in the slight space between the thighs of more conventionally seated passengers. In fact the slighter the space the better the ride, as a tight fit means less wobbling will occur when the train goes round the bend.

-Randy

On 2004-08-30 20:08, aquarj wrote:
If I only had the marketing horsepower, my money would be on introducing America to these products direct from Japan....

Mmmmmmm......chindogu...