What's the weirdist thing you've ever done to someone

Please share.

(Please provide actual names and phone numbers in case I'd like to break off a piece and sample.)

Disconnecting them from life support! Don't try this at home kids.

Marry them.

Bury them

Vern

I like to make men dress up in women's clothing and make up and walking up and down the street with hamsters duct taped to their thighs singing "I gotta be me."

In an unrelated note, never agree to a "truth or dare" game with me. I could really care less how old you were when you lost your virginity.

Oh, I also like to get really close to a person's ear and breathe in and out of my nose really fast - sounds just like a dog. and it always freaks people out. especially when you start licking their ear really loudly while doing it.

There's much more, but I haven't the time.

On 2004-11-28 15:57, dangergirl299 wrote:
I like to make men dress up in women's clothing and make up and walking up and down the street with hamsters duct taped to their thighs singing "I gotta be me."

How do you teach hamsters to sing?? :-?

On 2004-11-28 15:57, dangergirl299 wrote:
I like to make men dress up in women's clothing and make up and walking up and down the street with hamsters duct taped to their thighs singing "I gotta be me."

In an unrelated note, never agree to a "truth or dare" game with me. I could really care less how old you were when you lost your virginity.

Oh, I also like to get really close to a person's ear and breathe in and out of my nose really fast - sounds just like a dog. and it always freaks people out. especially when you start licking their ear really loudly while doing it.

There's much more, but I haven't the time.

D-Girl,

There's something about your style that makes the Bong's thongs rumble...

I'm not sure if this is wierd, or passive-aggressive revenge, or both, but here goes:
At the county fair, I've added a nasty person's name & address to a mailing list for investor information about the business of obtaining and/or exchanging Texas Longhorn steer semen through the mail, complete with more pictures and 'helpful hints' than you'd ever want to see in a lifetime ... even a female Texas Longhorn would've said, "Too much information, thank you!"
The recipient was someone who would not find any humor in this at all, and regarded himself as quite the Hollywood bon-vivant, even though he was anti-social and lived in a dive apartment in Downey! To add to that, he went nuts about any bit of junk mail, so it was too easy to set him up with mail about llama & ostrich farming in case the Longhorns didn't work out.

This was just plain funny. Might be wierd to some but one time while I was rinsing chicken parts in the kitchen sink, my wife came up behind me and began to get a little amorous with her hands rubbing my chest. Suddenly she was distracted (children or phone) and walked away. But I knew what was next so I quickly unzipped my pants and stuck a chicken leg in there with the big end just barely hanging out of my pants. Sure enough a few seconds later she walks up behind me and starts rubbing my chest again, soon her hands are venturing down and BAM she grabs the big end of that chicken leg and jumps back and screams. I laughed for days.

Another time, while we were dating, we had just come back from a night out. Both of us were a little sauced. As we go into my room she quickly heads back to the restroom. I close the door to my room and completely disrobe. I slip on a pair of cowboy boots and back into the closet. She opens the door, walks in and I jump out of the closet growling with my arms in the air ARRRRRR ARRRRRR. She laughed so hard she fell into my dirty clothes basket (which was only a cardboard box) and couldn't get out. Her butt was stuck at the bottom and her legs were hanging out. I had to pull her out. That's one way to get a girl. We've been married 15 years. Maybe you single guys should try that one. or not. But if you do, don't blame me if she marries you.

On 2004-11-28 21:53, Jungle Trader wrote:
That's one way to get a girl. We've been married 15 years. Maybe you single guys should try that one. or not.

Note to self:
Buy one chicken leg; one clothes basket and Jungle Trader's book entitled "How To Pick Up Women".

Unga Bunga, don't buy a clothes basket.....you'll find an abundance of cardboard boxes in dumpsters. I have a pair of cowboy boots.....if you need them.

Don't go cheap on the drinks.

Please send 20 bucks for the book.

[ Edited by: Jungle Trader on 2004-11-28 22:27 ]

J.T., What I want to know is... what happened the the chicken leg next?

(Please don't say it wound up on the dinner table....)

jungle trader

any women who stays after those shennanigans is a keeper.

Sounds like something i would do to my girl - haha

keep up the good work

Put frog fat bodies in a fellas mac and cheese. I get a warm and fuzzy feeling thinking back on that funny day.

On 2004-11-28 22:46, Beatnikine wrote:
J.T., What I want to know is... what happened the the chicken leg next?

She devoured it with lust and wild abandon.

On 2004-11-28 20:12, ZebraTiki wrote:
I'm not sure if this is wierd, or passive-aggressive revenge, or both, but here goes:
At the county fair, I've added a nasty person's name & address to a mailing list for investor information about the business of obtaining and/or exchanging Texas Longhorn steer semen through the mail, complete with more pictures and 'helpful hints' than you'd ever want to see in a lifetime ... even a female Texas Longhorn would've said, "Too much information, thank you!"

ZebraTiki - I relate to your sense of humor. I too have sent anonymous 3-year gift subscriptions of "Women & Guns" magazine to several debutante friends.

Sabu

I have used several aliases to screw with Bong's mind, but in a loving way!

On 2004-11-29 14:41, tiki mick wrote:
I have used several aliases to screw with Bong's mind, but in a loving way!

Not to sound superior, but no one screws with my mind, they only annoy me...

A friend of a friend of mine was a famous bully. He lived in Oklahoma, and was in bar fights very often...of course he played football, and while not good enough to be a pro, he eventually got a got to college, graduated, and settled back down in his hometown as a teacher.

His stories were incredible, but verifiable, and all tru. (Beating up bars full of people etc)

At the time, I was finishing up my undergrad degree and had written a story about him, which I sold to a Instructor who had it published in a textbook.

I made him out to be a complete moron...The prospect of him finding out (or one of the people he beat up reading about him in his semi ficticious life ) delighted me.

Over about 5 years just as a hobby I went to great lenghts to make him belive he was famous for being an subliterate idiot.

I sent carfully made newspaper copies from far away countries with comics about him (and they looked like him) in with the other comics. I sent him a gifts from other ficticious people who "Just read he was a real person" often with cards in foreign languages. Dozens of postacrds from all over saying he was so funny, or a comic genious. I used his name for everything that would be odd and free to sign up for.

I won him a Mountain Bike, and once a drum of mixed grubs from Pro Bass Shops.

I even made bronze images of his face in a class (the other side said "Oklahoma Krugerand") which I sent to his his place of work...But not to him...His image was saying "I thought I told you to shut up"

I even phoned him a few times...and he sounded enormous. (I had only seen photos of him)It was like fishing knowing you have something dangerous on the other line.

Oh boy that was sure funny...well...then anyway.

[ Edited by: Gigantalope on 2004-11-29 21:04 ]

On 2004-11-29 08:26, Jungle Trader wrote:

She devoured it with lust and wild abandon.

No man, he meant the chicken leg. What happened to * the chicken leg? *

Ku Ku

Gigantalope your story is amazing! The lengths you went to!

Also, I too loved to sign people up for mail order things. Free inforamtion kits on anything and everything - I'd write down the number off the TV (Learn to be a beautician at home, Free Craftmatic Bed trial, etc) and sign up my friends. Suprised they still ARE friends!

Good gravy Gigantalope! Now if you could use your powers for good,you'd be unstoppable!

Getting an Art degreeis really one long theme prank.

Another time, afer a housemate (Teacher)skipped out owning quite a bit of money, I made notes with the wide margin paper and crayons.

I attached them to balloons and launched about 10 of them.

The notes said "My name is Brian, I'm in 3rd grade. I go to Carlton School. Will you be my friend? Mr Griffith is my teacher he is nice. He helps me afterschool, but it hurts to poop now."

That's so wrong... :)

I had a friend who every time we went to a restaraunt he would tell the waitress it was my birthday so we could get a free dessert. It pissed me off to no end which is why he did it. In retaliation, every "Ronco" item that came on TV, I had shipped C.O.D. to his house. He lived with his Mom, she was a housewife, so she always was home when the delivery arrived and paid it for him before he could refuse it. My favorite one was the "Breakdance" pad, a piece of laminated cardboard that folded up so you could carry it to wherever your "dance off" was to be held. The worst one was the "Mr. Microphone" because he actaully used it all the damn time!

I had some old geezer who pissed me off. I tried to buy some copenhagen chew from his small store, and he handed me one. I looked at the date (for freshness) and it was prehistoric. I asked him if he had anything a tad fresher, and he rudely grabs it out of my hands and put it back on the shelf and says "do you want it, you little punk, or not?"

Well, I spent the next two weeks ordering every kind of service for this guy I could, refridgerator repair, window cleaners, electricians, etc. Called competing companies and scheduled them to "come down to my store" roughly the same time, the same days! I even ordered him a great western large dumpster and told them to "park it right in front of my store". This was in the days when you could do all that stuff with no credit card needed up front.

I drove by one day and he had about 20 worktrucks parked in front, and he was out there arguing with several of the drivers.

I had a friend named Arnie who was a real mama's boy, and who was in search of the perfect girl (meaning one that his mother would approve of). He finally found the girl of his (mother's) dreams, and after months of pursuit managed to get her into the sack. Having seen her, the thought was nauseating, but there's no accounting for taste I guess.

Ghods! It was like we'd never hear the end of it - after a full week of listening to his (doubtless much inflated) descriptions of the conquest, I looked up some addresses and phone numbers then called him and told him that I was from the Malden Department of Public Health, and that we'd been advised that there was a possibility that he'd been exposed to Venerial Disease, and that it was necessary that he come down for a blood test. His fear on the phone was tangible.

We watched him go into our supervisors office, pale and in a cold sweat, and then (quietly) clock out and depart the building. Afterwards, our boss came out and asked who the jerk was ... he'd let Arnie go to visit the Department of Public Health in Malden anyway.

Evil? Yes. It's just my nature.

Cheers!

Gigantalope & Cybertiki, you are both very sick. Please don't ever change.

This guy who was a real jerk was celebrating his birthday. Just by coincidence I found a dead frog on the road that was smashed flat and all dried up.

I giftwrapped it and gave it to the guy for his birthday. He unwrapped it and looked very happy, planning to smoke it - until he looked at it more closely and realized it was a frog.

On 2004-11-30 18:47, kctiki wrote:
He unwrapped it and looked very happy, planning to smoke it - until he looked at it more closely and realized it was a frog.

kctiki - So did he smoke it?

Dack Sambo's point about times being more fruitfull for pranks a few years ago is tru.

in the early 90s it was easy to send a mortuary vehicle to pick up the body of a co-worker, or order manure to be delivered COD.

(wiping tear from eye fondly)

Another favorite of mine was to send in an address forwarding some persons mail who I was angry at, to a person across the counrty with the same name.

All the person's information becomes a jumble...of course all bills get forwarded, and it takes months to sort, power gets shut off...things get sent to collection... Since identity theft crimes have boomed, getting away with such things is a bit risky now.

PLEASE HELP MARION

A few years back my supervisor at my old job became very difficult. He had real anger issues, and was abusive to say the least. It so happend that his REAL first name was... Marion.

I made up one of those horrible flyers with a xeroxed face of a little girl (From National Geographic) with the tear away phone numbers...which were his phone numbers.
It's really the same formula as the last post I made, getting people angry, then letting them vent at the victim.

The notes, in a nutshell were the usual...poor english (worse than my usual writing even)

"My family and I are very poor...My father work very hard, but we no money..we come here with nothing, but I need desparatly for an operation... for to have a clitorectomy so I don't become american slut,It is Alah's way"

It ended with "please help Marion..."and his Cell Phone number

I posted these around a few Universities, mostly Berkeley Student Union, San Jose State, too Hayward and where ever I happend to be.

He got calls for months...it worked better than I dreamed. People would phone , and when a male answered...sometimes they wanted to speak to Marion, and threatend to call the police...It was a gleefull time.

you could just hear screaming, name calling...Of course it was shallow and I imagined us being "even"...but I most likely made his self esteem even worse, and his megre life less happy...but I must admit to several episodes that were side-splittin'.

[ Edited by: Gigantalope on 2004-12-01 08:06 ]

Turning over the name of a complete shyster relative, who has made moms life very difficult since the death of my father, to high school friends who work for the IRS and DEA was very satysfying.

Ah and I thought Highschool was a complete waste of time.

TG

Oh "wierdest" not "most satysfying in a doctor evil sort of way"...

Sorry, never mind...

On 2004-11-28 15:57, dangergirl299 wrote:
I like to make men dress up in women's clothing and make up and walking up and down the street with hamsters duct taped to their thighs singing "I gotta be me."

Oh, I also like to get really close to a person's ear and breathe in and out of my nose really fast - sounds just like a dog. and it always freaks people out. especially when you start licking their ear really loudly while doing it.

So where's the weird part come in?