Here's How You Can Help Now.

I've decided to quit the search for work, becauses it's too much...well, work.

I've decided to dedicate myself to something other than myself. And in the true sense of altruism, here goes:

I've set up an orphanage for abandoned and neglected protozoa and eukayotes.

This is a cause that escapes the naked eye of the general public.

But after thoroughly investigating this dire situation under a microscope, I've decided that these little guys need a chance just like everyone else.

I humbly ask that you send a large taxable donation to the Tiki Bong Orphanage For The Single Celled (TBOFTSC).

Be a Sandanista for Protista!

Because a single cell is a terrible thing to waste.

Act Now, because the cell you save may be your own!

Bong, your altruism has inspired my naked eyes!

I've decided to right the wrongs of society by opening a shelter for battered shrimp.