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Beyond Tiki, Bilge, and Test / Bilge

What's the lamest drink you ever mixed?

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I've just reached a new low with Rum and Diet Dr. Pepper.

Speaking professionaly?....Ramos Fizz
Hate'em.

I was with some Hungarians and Syrians...but other people people drink it too...It's origin is Mongolian.

Fremented Horse Milk.

I thought...no...can't be.

It was, and it's as tasty as it sounds.
Fizzy yougurty funky funk.

On the positive side, it does cut thru mouth burn from hot food, but at such a cost.

Hands down my worst concoction EVER: In college while I was trying to impress a girl (what better reason, eh, guys?) by making her a "Grasshopper" - I failed miserably!! Normally pretty yummy - made with Creme de menthe, Creme de cacao and heavy cream, shaved ice, blended well....) - but, ya see, I had no cream in the reefer, so I tried to make it with Cremora (powdered coffee creamer). It was - well - yeah - you probably guessed...simply horrifying!

H
hewey posted on Sun, May 22, 2005 9:15 PM

Orange Whip - after years of watching The Blues Brothers and wondering what the hell an "orange whip" was, we did a search on the net. Something like Vodka, cream, and orange juice from memory...

Well, new years eve we did cocktails and an orange whip was first cab off the rank. Pretty dissappointing after all of these years of building it up.

Now the term "orange whip" has come to mean being dissapointed after a big build up, or let down. eg. "How was that new movie?" "It was an orange whip!"

That's easy!

Absinth at Hukilau last year.

I had a packet of sugar, a couple of tiny cups and was too drunk to figure out that I didn't put in enough water.

I was almost walked straight off the plank for that one.

For shame, for shame.

DZ

On 2005-05-22 21:58, Tikiwahine wrote:
That's easy!

Absinth at Hukilau last year.

I had a packet of sugar, a couple of tiny cups and was too drunk to figure out that I didn't put in enough water.

I was almost walked straight off the plank for that one.

For shame, for shame.

Ahhh... Yess... I remember it...

sort of...

TikiWahine = Evil Absinthe Queen!!

On 2005-05-22 21:58, Tikiwahine wrote:
T was too drunk to figure out that I didn't put in enough water.

Water in absinth, why you want and go do that for? if your drunk enough to be hitting the absinth, your already on the train to alcohol hell, so why get all pansy on the absinth with the sugar and the water, just pour the absinth into shooters and knock it back, the sizzling feeling of your stomach lining frying off only last a moment.

D

Didn't make this gem,but heard someone serve it-Kahlua stone sour with three olives.If that isn't the most wretched sounding combination,I don't know what is.

On 2005-05-22 17:41, PapeToaTane wrote:
...while I was trying to impress a girl (what better reason, eh, guys?)

I must admit, I often got my brain caught in my zipper.

J

My lamest cocktail had a lot to do with inexperience and ignorance... at a Christmas party I actually served guests vodka Collins' and whiskey sours made with the powder mix from the little packets! I'm actually ashamed to admit that I took the easy route and had the nerve to pass that crap off as a real drink! Fortunately I don't believe any of the guests were versed in mixed drinks so I'm sure they wouldn't have known a good drink from powdered crap. As for my conscience, I guess I should just keep telling myself I didn't know any better!

Black Samurai - sake & soy sauce.

Ha! I'm surprised no-one has mentioned the Toxic Waste (or was it Nuclear Sludge?) served at the last ugh house party in this thread yet. Can you imagine? A whole house full of self-professed tiki drink experts, and due to the loss of a single recipe, a decent bowl full of tropical drink could NOT be made. Luckily, no one said anything (touch of emperor's new clothes, perhaps), but chalk this up to experience: ALWAYS go from a recipe! Never assume that just because you've tasted thousands of tasty tiki drinks, that you can mix one!

On 2005-05-23 10:22, Sabu The Coconut Boy wrote:
Black Samurai - sake & soy sauce.

Oh, Lord! That turns my stomach just thinking about it!! UGH!

a few of the bartending/recipe sites have the nice feature tell us what liqour you have and we'll give you a list of recipes.....we tried this (official warnign its a bad idea)......with what was laying aroud we produced a list of 200+ recipes......good the first one we tried was a pez......it tasted like a liquid pez and promply met the shrubbery

Lima Beans and cheese in a blender

Had jagerbombs this weekend, A shot of jagermeister dropped in a glass of redbull.
yeah, nothing like a hyper drunk.

Strawberry Quick and Vodka, I was going for a slant on a White Russian.

Jonestown Massacre -- the drink I served at Oasis this year. :lol:

Tried to make some banana rum things by throwing in real bananas, they turned out looking like baby food.

YooHoo and vodka. It blows...

RR

151 & apple juice.

252: one ounce 151 Rum, one ounce Wild Turkey 101.

Red wine and coke. It's called "calimocho" in Spain.

The weird thing? It's not bad! But it stains the hell outta your clothes, especially if you're wearing all white with red touches (for the running of the bulls in Pamplona), and you're dancing in bars and in the streets all night, and drunks are bumping into you, 'til the running starts at AM...

Sad thing is, when all there is to drink is beer, wine, and Coke, and it's hot outside, that's what I make myself. People look at me like I'm some kinda f--ing wino.
"No, really - they drink it in Spain this way!"
"Uh huh..."

(Red wine with Sprite or sparkling water is "tinto verano" - "summer red wine." It's actually VERY good - a sort of fake sangria.)

Ok, so my contribution isn't as heinously lame as some of my predecessors', but it's all I got....

My sister is the queen of bad drinks. Her drink of choice is Wild Turkey & Diet Dr Pepper. When she feels like mixing it up she goes to 7-11, picks up whatever nightmare mountain dew slurpee concoction that comes in a color not found in nature, then pours tequila in it. Gack!

One time, on a party bus to see the Stones, my friend and I poured rum into mango Snapples. Sounded like a good idea, but really wasn't... she accidentally bought the mango tea Snapples.

M

One scoop of Grape Kool-Aid powder
One can Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Combine in a pint glass and stir to dissolve.

Careful, it gets real foamy real quick.

After I stopped crackin up at the grape Kool-Aid and Pabst... (Really, I'm crying!!) No I just can't stop laughing!! Must. Get a grip. Shit that's funny!
Anyhoo...The German hubby can drink the most vile crap, every day! Whatever's around the haus. He would beat you all with out even thinking. Here's some of the more memorable ones:
yogurt & sweet vermouth (I know, it was the end of the month, before grocery day, and that explaination serves for the rest of these concotions!!)
pickled beet juice, vodka, vermouth.
Red Kraut juice, gin, Kahluah.
evaporated milk (left over from my baking)w/ tequila, lime, coconut liqueur,marshmallow fluff-blended. (Yah. Eets like sveet und bahama-ee desert) (?!)
crab juice (Persian friend was over)w/ my dad's homemade Polish buffalo grass vodka and olive juice.
Mint liqueur (mouthwash?), coffee liqueur, worchester sauce (to "take the sveet ouf")
Can of smoked oysters blended with bourbon with a slice of brie floater (Left overs from X-Mas party!!)
He keeps loooking over my shoulder and saying: "Vat!?!! doze vas gut trinks!"
Ah ha.
He thinks the kool-aid and Pabst sounds horrible. Like he's a good judge of fine cocktails!!

Hau'oli Tiki, SURELY you are making all those up!!!!!!

Admit it - you walked over to your pantry, took out all the gross cans and bottles that have been sitting there since you emptied out your grandmother's kitchen when she moved into a nursing home, and then randomly named liquors, pairing them up with the WORST possible sounding mate.

Although nothing may beat grape Kool-Aid and PBR.......

My nominee for worst so far: Hot sake and soy sauce!!

Most insane: "252" (151 rum and 101 Wild Turkey) - also the best name!

I swear on the BOT! My husband is German and will drink anything, as long as it has alchohol!
He likes to think of himself as a great mixologist, and, usually at parties, he is. But at home, when the bar is running low on supplies, and he's desperate for alchohol (always) he'll mix up whatever and call it a meal.
He said his Nana back in Nurenburg used to mix up cooked liver and beer to feed him as an infant. He was a preemie and that was the only thing that saved him from death, so they say. He drank beer as a kid (As all Germans do) the way my kids drink soda.
So I guess he isn't picky, but I tell you the truth; he has done all those and more!

Here's a little shot I've had some experience with, half Bacardi 151- half tobasco sauce. You experience a warm feeling just before your head explodes. Oh, and if you can control the initial gag reflex, you'll be okay.

W

Space Age G&T
Gin
Tang

mix to taste
serve over ice

hey, I worked for NASA at the time and I have loved Tang ever since they had little Apollo toys on the side of the jars!

http://theimaginaryworld.com/kids97.jpg

oh how I loved that lunar rover...

[ Edited by: WillTiki on 2005-05-26 15:40 ]

Gin and Stewart's Key Lime or Orange Cream are the cat's ass.

Is "the cat's ass" good or bad?

(with this thread, one has to ask)

ha, formikahini, that cat's ass is good.
similar to the dog's bollox or the cat's pajamas(also good)

Someone posted about tang and gin, not sure if they said they liked it or not

J
JTD posted on Fri, May 27, 2005 6:02 AM

On 2005-05-26 14:40, Raffertiki wrote:
Here's a little shot I've had some experience with, half Bacardi 151- half tobasco sauce. You experience a warm feeling just before your head explodes. Oh, and if you can control the initial gag reflex, you'll be okay.

Reminds me of the nasty Prairie Fire...half tequila, half Tabasco. Yuk! If I learned nothing else in college (and that may be the case), it's stay away from that. Double yuk.

prarie fire is one of those joke shooters, like the cement mixer.
I don't think they're meant to be good, just something to give a 'friend' on a birthday, stag party, or just to humiliate them when they haven't had one before.
All in fun :wink:

I don't think they're meant to be good, just something to give a 'friend' on a birthday, stag party, or just to humiliate them when they haven't had one before.

That's how I experienced my first one. Everyone got shots of Alabama Slammers, I got a shot of Buffalo Sweat. I do beleive the alcohol accelerates the burning sensation of the Tabasco.

T

"Vat! doze vas gut trinks!!!!"

I want a t-shirt that says this. NOW!

Rodeotiki's Jagerbombs, but with cider instead of beer. I'm heaving as I remember! Oh, to be young and invincible...

Not that I have tried all these, but they are candidates for the worst drinks:

Bloody Tampon - Grain alcohol and Strawberry Yoo Hoo

Russian Jew - Vodka and Manichevitz

Chicken Kiev - Vodka and chicken broth

And it has never been given a name but...

Jaegermeister and Sunny Delight.

--SBiM

I find "Hypnotique" to be a horrible drink and it comes straight out of the bottle. It is some concoction of congnac,vodka (I think) and various fruit juices. It gags.

On 2005-05-31 08:08, polynesian posh boy wrote:
I find "Hypnotique" to be a horrible drink and it comes straight out of the bottle.

Too bad, it has a cool name!

Jager and Scummy delight...no name huh? Well. Les see... Hubby is trying it right now. Hey! Gary likes it! (What DOESN'T he like-see previous post)
Jar. Eets gut. Noot bat. Like Jagermeister und OJ. (ah. yeah.) We'd call it:
Scummeister
throat harsh
enamel eraser
Jagersun
Der Jager Yummy Sun
Stew-pit Juice (say it like Isabella Rosalini) (?)
Faux-J und Miester

Kay. He's wasted and I'm high. So this could get good. Or not.

Mama's Got a Squeeze Box O' Juice and Booze
Shnitzel Wasser
Kraut Attacked by Consumerism
Crappy Orange Licorice Crap

I'm not going to try most of these concoctions, yo! But I may just try a Cat's Ass.

TK
  1. diet Dr.Pepper, rum and tequilia. It was what we had left at 4am. was going for a long island kinda thing, but it didn't work.
    quote: "Give it to me ,I'll drink anything.....whoa...but not that!"

  2. Night train and cherry tang, called it "night bus"
    quote: "We should have taken the train. Where are we? what time is it?"

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