To All

If I have not said so often enough, let me say once again how exceedingly grateful I am to the Tiki Central members who gave me support of all kinds after Hurricane Katrina.

I am aware that many of you seem to feel that my starting up a certain forum page (Bali HiJinks) along with some other TC members is a betrayal of Tiki Central. I am very sorry that you feel that way. There is nothing said on Bali HiJinks that has not been said by many people who are still members here in PMs, emails and/or whispered behind hands, and ironically enough by some of BH’s most emphatic detractors. Apparently our sin is in the saying of it openly and without shame. I would like to ask you to read the message to TC members posted in the public area of BH.

It is understood that TC values politeness and positive attitude at all times. To be honest, my life has thrown me so many curveballs, and seems to have no intention of letting up any time soon, that cockeyed optimism is just more than I am capable of mustering. The pressure of keeping up a positive front, maintaining a pious attitude about what is essentially junk collecting, and persisting in the illusion that people I have never even met are somehow my “family” has become more than I can bear. It’s hard to be around people who always look on the bright side of life when you’ve had a black bag thrown over your head. What may keep keep me sane is consorting with other people who can deal with sarcasm and who are not afraid to let their flaws and lapses of character show.
For that I have no apology. It’s not a perfect world and pretending that it is doesn’t make it so. At least it doesn’t for me.

If Tiki Central works for you, that's great and I wish all of you well.

If, like Monkeyman, any more of you are so sorely disappointed in me for my part in Bali HiJinks that you regret sending me the money that you did, please let me know and I will be happy to return it to you as well. I do not want anyone to feel bad about helping me out.

Thank you again.

(Please make no replies to this thread, I will not see them.)

Can someone explain what just happened here?

yeah!!!......i love a good drama!! what happened??

F*ING GREAT !!!

I did not regret sending anyone my support and NEVER asked for any of it back.

I was trying to understand WHY someone who I thought I supported would be the FIRST to blast me from the water when I shared my opinion on a forum that prided itself of absolute honesty and sarcasm.????

We all have our personality flaws and everyone on his board knows I have many. Perhaps my biggest flaw is that I am often first to share an inflammatory opinion that OTHERS share but are smart enough NOT to share.

This is NOT fun.

[ Edited by: Monkeyman 2006-04-29 08:50 ]

I am pleased by your help in popularization of the phrase "Jackassery" on your website. It's companion phrase duschbaggery also needs to be set loose in common daily use.

How did I miss this ??

Arrr some!

I got a new torch and am dying to use it.

On 2006-04-29 10:40, Gigantalope wrote:
I am pleased by your help in popularization of the phrase "Jackassery" on your website. It's companion phrase duschbaggery also needs to be set loose in common daily use.

..cool, now let's spell it right...douche-baggery, or without the spacing if you prefer, douchebaggery.

On 2006-04-29 13:33, Tipsy McStagger wrote:

On 2006-04-29 10:40, Gigantalope wrote:
I am pleased by your help in popularization of the phrase "Jackassery" on your website. It's companion phrase duschbaggery also needs to be set loose in common daily use.

..cool, now let's spell it right...douche-baggery, or without the spacing if you prefer, douchebaggery.

I have been known for a little of both Jackassery and douchebaggery (douche-baggery). And there is nothing wrong with it.
Secondly (no offense to Monkeyman or PJ because I like the both of you)I love the Mugs that PJ designed I would have bought them even if it wasn't going to anybody. PJ you did a great job and I am very glad that you got part of the profit. And I like BaliHijinks and Tiki Central there is room for both. I know I probably upset somebody here but that is not what I was trying to do.
Mahalo,
Spermy

[ Edited by: The Sperm Whale 2006-04-29 15:12 ]

I went to go check out PJ's new website. You can't view any of the forums or access anything without registering and logging in. Strangely, when I clicked on the "Register" button, I got this message:

"Sorry, we do not accept new registrations. Should you have any questions please contact [email protected]. "

I kind of figured it was an open Forum. What's up with that?

I don't think it is for everyone, however there is a link between TC and BH.

Does this mean Bong has a new home?

On 2006-04-30 03:24, hewey wrote:
Does this mean Bong has a new home?

From Balihijinks website:
Perhaps it would be more appropriate to consider BH a place where all the people who disrupted the sensiblities of TC can go so that they don't offend anyone there again.

'nuff said :)

And I can't access any of the forums without signing up - what a load of crap! At least let people read some of the forums, but only let members post? Is this some bulls*** way of making people sign up to bolster numbers? Yeh, I just sooo want to go join now... Whatever

Kustom Kahoona* - Tiki and Hot Rod Art by Hewey*

[ Edited by: hewey 2006-04-30 03:32 ]

Does this seem like middle school again?

I tried to log on too and got the same run around....i think i'll just stay right here and irritate all you fine tiki folk as much as I want instead.....

On 2006-04-30 03:26, hewey wrote:

And I can't access any of the forums without signing up - what a load of crap!

why is that a load of crap? That's like being upset that you can't have access to a condo association's swimming pool without buying a condo...

"Many of you have found your way here through my sig on TC, or by way of other TC members.

Most of the founders of this site came to know each other on TC.

Officially, these should be the only ties between TC and BH.

Contrary to what seems to be passed around, this site was not created for the sole purpose of "bashing" TC." this is from Purplejades site.

The thread titled " I am so done with Tc " is meant for what I ask you Pj. (edited to contain proper Title)

I joined Balihijinks and after reading some of what was there I emailed Pj and asked that she delete my membership.

I also didnt like reading what some members there had written about members here. Sure if you have a issue with someone its your right to say it, But to say it in a closed forum where people are unable to see what was written about them or to fire back is a load of Bullshit!!

Pj sent me a email defending her site and saying that there are 2000 posts on Balihijinks and less than 10% are about TC. She went on to say that TC is being over censored and people are no longer free to say what they want.

Why am I telling what Purplejade wrote to me ? Because I previously stated that some of the Pm's sent here were being posted on her site. To wich she responded that Pm's are someones property and if they choose to post them on her site that there is nothing she can do about that.
If anyone wants a copy of my email I will forward it to you as it is mine and mine to do what I want with.

Pj is correct in that I dont know both sides of peoples issues with members here or there , but to spout off in a closed forum is wrong in my book.

Monkeyman is good people in my book and seeing what was said about him after he left BH was not cool. As stated before , some people here I would have a hard time knowing wether they are coming or going as they seemed to be 2 faced.

[ Edited by: rodeotiki 2006-05-01 13:37 ]

This is getting better and better every time I check here. I didn't realize TC made some people craaaazy!!!

..TC never made anyone crazy...it just attracts crazy people.

To put anyone's mind at ease, I have seen NO bashing of Tiki Central on Balihijinks.
It's simply just another website, and I like visiting here and there both.
Believe me, there is no "fire".

On 2006-05-01 09:52, Unga Bunga wrote:
To put anyone's mind at ease, I have seen NO bashing of Tiki Central on Balihijinks.
It's simply just another website, and I like visiting here and there both.
Believe me, there is no "fire".

Not of TC ,just some of its members.

The thread titled " I am so F#$*ing done with Tc " is meant for what I ask you Pj.

Just for the record, there is no thread entitled "I am so Fucking done with TC".
There is a thread entitled "I'm Done with TC, too" however.

And it was meant, I assume, for the member who posted it to say that he would not be posting on TC anymore.

[ Edited by: purple jade 2006-05-01 13:38 ]

On 2006-05-01 13:30, purple jade wrote:

The thread titled " I am so F#$*ing done with Tc " is meant for what I ask you Pj.

Just for the record, there is no thread entitled "I am so Fucking done with TC".
There is a thread entitled "I'm Done with TC, too" however.

And it was meant, I assume, for the member who posted it to say that he would not be posting on TC anymore.

My bad, I was going from memory and will edit my post to contain the proper title.

On 2006-04-29 06:22, purple jade wrote:
(Please make no replies to this thread, I will not see them.)

Okay.

One more thing

On 2006-04-29 06:22, purple jade wrote:
Apparently our sin is in the saying of it openly and without shame.

There isnt much about being open in a private forum, and for someone without shame you seem a bit defensive. But your not reading this so I will stop now.

Did I miss something? One minute I am contributing money for Purple Jade's Katrina Relief Fund, the next minute she has a website with threads bashing TC members! Maybe that's why I have seen Purple Jade Mugs on eBay. Hmmmmm.....

There is definitely something more than meets the eye here. Anyone know the TRUE story? Curious minds want to know.

Cheers and Mahalo,
Jeff

Let me put this to bed before it goes much farther.

This is not a Purple Jade issue. I don’t wish her ANY ill will and she does not deserve anyone else’s judgement. Her mug sale was hugely successful because it was a quality product and it was for a purpose we all believed (and still believe) in. It was also successful because of the donated time and materials of others. I cannot even begin to comprehend PJs personal challenges right now and certainly am disappointed in myself that I may have added to them.

While it is true that it might be a stretch to refer to our many internet friends as family (or ohana), it is not a stretch to realize that we spend a large chunk of time here associating directly with a relatively small group. While many of us will not ever meet eachother in person, that does not diminish the fact that we know more about what is going on in eachothers lives than some of us know about our own siblings and neighbors.

The dynamics here on the internet are very similar to what we might experience in a "real life" social group. There are sly witty people, quiet observers, class clowns, artistic folks, devout supporters (The "Junior High" effect). Some are loyal to their friends and some are not. Some don’t mind making a big stink and some are so afraid of conflict that they overtly avoid having an opinion or taking a side. Im not judging which one is the better choice but only that those differences are ALL here in this group.

We all know that the internet is NOT the best way to interact with people because its easy to take things too seriously, out of context, not understanding the joke, not seeing the body language etc. The worst part is that some hurtful comments sit here in blistering text for all to read and re-read and re-read. In a “live” social setting, many of our discussions would never become heated, not many would worry too much about them. We would slap each other on the back and realize our friendship is more important than being "right".

I am not the first person to over react to something I disagreed with here on the web. Many others have as well. I am also not the first person to have stated an opinion or comment on something only to later realize that it was not the nicest or smartest thing to post. It’s easy to be insensitive to others until it happens to you. Then you can either respond with anger or reason. It’s easy to be angry and feel that YOUR point is the justified one. Its harder to step back, see both sides and realize that some disputes aren’t worth having.

I joined the Bali Hijinks because I saw a long list of names that I recognized. A list of names that I have enjoyed interacting with and visiting with in person over the years. So I requested entry to the site and it was granted. My admission was prefaced with a warning/disclaimer that if I prefer the civilized PC environment of Tiki Central (I know some of you might laugh) that Bali Hijinks might not be the best forum for me. Purple Jade knows me well enough to tell me what I should be ready for (she was right!).

I initially liked the fact that the alternate forum provided all of us a “vent” to discuss things that might cause problems on a totally open forum. Within a short period of time I realized that I found the regular complaining or backstabbing comments unhealthy for me. I do not profess to be completely innocent in this regard. It wasn’t much longer when folks were making unkind comments about TCers that I held in high regard. Then it was quickly apparent to me that a forum like this was NOT the right forum for me (Just as PJ had warned). It truly does promote a two faced persona. It’s a super fine line we walk when saying unkind things about people you “hope” wont find out about it. The only way it will work is if your friends don’t stick up for you and don’t tell you about it.

I have a hard time listening to others comment about my friends and not say anything about it. I have the unfortunate personality trait of saying what I feel and if I feel if someone is being unkind to people I like that someone should stick up for them. I was that fool. I tried to rebuke broad comments about TC. It was upsetting to see private PMs and quotes from the TC forums discussed where the vilified few could not defend themselves.

I could have simply withdrawn and decided it wasn’t my cup of tea but in a forum where anything goes I couldn’t see the harm in interjecting my position. Apparently I said the exact wrong thing because my comments were strongly opposed and I was unfortunately put in my place. I will say that if I ever asked for loyal and trustworthy friends, Dawntiki and Rodeo would be on the top of the list.

We don’t need anymore uglyness in this group and I have played my part in making it ugly again. For that I will apologize. Lets not worry about what is happening on BaliHijinks and instead focus on why we're are here on Tiki Central. Because we like Tiki Stuff (yes PJ its mostly junk but it makes us happy to surround ourselves with it) and by accident found out that WE LIKE OTHER TIKI PEOPLE.

Oasis is upon us yet again and many of us will be there. Lets remind ourselves on what it means to have friends that enjoy what we do and also realize how much our lives would be different (worse) without this fascinating collective of interesting people.

Lets move on. No more hating….. There is already enough of that in the world.

Perfectly stated.

I have asked Hanford to delete this thread.

I and the other founders of Bali Hijinks created that forum so that we would not distrupt Tiki Central again. By posting this thread, I have done just that, and it was a grievous error on my part.

It was not my intention to justify the existence of BH here on TC. I realize that this is just not possible.

I sincerely apologize for bringing this up on TC, it has no place here and I hope it will never happen again.

PJ

[ Edited by: purple jade 2006-05-01 15:55 ]

It was not my intention to justify the existence of BH here on TC. I realize that this is just not possible.

Of course it's possible, it's just that in an open and honest environment you're not going to get 100% agreement. :wink:

On a serious note, I wouldn't say that this was a taboo topic, but I do think it shows why as Tiki Central grew, more and more people chose to avoid creating or participating in divisive topics, even when they relish honesty and openness. I'm locking it based on PJ's and other's requests.

[the above message may contain one or more of the following: sarcasm, satire, parody, and honesty]