Is it cool 2 be real?

Okay, this has got to be one of the funniest sites I've ever been to becuase believe it or not, in't not a parody. See if you can figure out what the hidden agenda of this website is:

http://www.cool-2b-real.com/

~Hanford

real subtle: its sponsored by American Beef Products (TM) ~ and all the snacks have MEAT in them. oooh and the poll is all about meat too.

guess its not real to be a vegetarian.

weird site. um. how did you find it?

[ Edited by: purple jade 2006-03-20 21:33 ]

Isn't it cool 2 destroy the Amazon?

Ewww.

Someone at America's Beef Producers (tm) or the Cattlemen's Beef Board, National Cattlemen's Beef Association or Circle 1 Network (©2003) is trying waaay too hard. A real-life girl would never call herself a "real girl" or a "real" girl! Quotes are a classic sign of a too-old marketing person trying to be hip and grammatically correct at the same time—an effort doomed from the start.

Keepin' fit with "real friends" and generous helpings of hormone laden beef and dairy?! Please! Then, when these kids are 300 lbs. and sue McDonalds, what do we do?

Y'know, it's funny. I've looked through the Delia's Catalog and I never seem to see bouncy young teenage girls gnawin' on a steak at the mall.

Oh, and according to their graphic, fun and chat apparently must include tacos.

Oh, and a contest.... what makes you a real girl.... MEAT! And yes, remember lil' darlin's. Was down that steak with a nice serving of cow's blood, fortified with Vitamin F, for fun!

that's funny stuff, especially:

"What type of beef do you most like to eat with your friends?"

Gosh! With so many great types of beef to choose, how could anyone limit their choices to just Steak, Tacos, Burgers, and Subs?

What about other smart snackin' faves like beef wraps, beef on bamboo, beef taco and cheese pockets, and the delicious easy beef chili!?!

And well, if you got friends like mine, there's no end to the types of beef we enjoy eating together! Why, more than just burger buddies, my closest friends & I have a beef bond that transends the normal bounds of friendship!

from the land of Mad Cows & Beefeaters,
Tiki Chris

[ Edited by: Tiki Chris on 2003-03-19 11:02 ]

Is this turning into the Meat Is Murder thread? I've eaten meat all my life and weigh 155 at 5'10" BTW...

I leave you with Joseph Campbell: "...the most hideous act, which is the act of life - namely, killing and eating another living thing...the hero is the one who comes to participate in life courageously and decently, in the way of nature, not in the way of personal rancor, disappointment, or revenge." Anyone who thinks they're smarter or more spiritually together than Campbell, jump right in.

As for the Amazon: do you really think it's being "destroyed"? Do you really think the world is meant to last forever, just as it is within your infinitesimally small lifespan, like a little Kodak snapshot? Are you aware that Alaska was once a tropical landscape? The wheel will turn and everything you know about the world will pass away, never to return.

For God's sake, try to rejoice! We are all participating in a mystery beyond our comprehension, with our little roles to play. But those roles can become bigger, more interesting, and less about personal rancor, disappointment, or revenge - if we let them.

aloha,
em.

On 2003-03-19 11:00, emspace wrote:

Joseph Campbell: "...the hero is the one who comes to participate in life courageously and decently, in the way of nature, not in the way of personal rancor, disappointment, or revenge." Anyone who thinks they're smarter or more spiritually together than Campbell, jump right in.

"my real girl hero is Kelly Clarkson because when she won american idol it showed me that you can do anything if you try. - Jennifer - Age: 8 - From UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (USA)"

Keepin' it Real,
Tiki Chris

On 2003-03-19 11:00, emspace wrote:
Is this turning into the Meat Is Murder thread?

nooo.. i'd be making fun of that website if it were sponsored by Tofurkey!

[ Edited by: dogbytes on 2003-03-19 11:26 ]

I'm THAT quotable? zoinks!

:), em

"So, like, at, like, the slumber party the other night at my mom and dod's, we were all, like having such a good time talking about how much we like our beef treats, that, like, we fergot all about N'Sync, Britney, shopping and, like, boys! It was like, kewl." I'm a veggie, too, but by no means a militant one. That pre-pubescent giggle-girl demographic is definitely what you're after if you're trying to sell lots and lots of meat. Or cigarettes. Or bad beer. :)

Vegetarian Tiki freaks...who'da thunk it...

em

On 2003-03-19 11:06, Tiki Chris wrote:

"my real girl hero is Kelly Clarkson because when she won american idol it showed me that you can do anything if you try. - Jennifer - Age: 8 - From UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (USA)"

Keepin' it Real,
Tiki Chris

Chris, I hope yer not trying to say that...no, ya can't be - this sweet little 8-year old girl is some sort of a**hole, are ya? Cuz that would be kinda cruel...

:-?, em

On 2003-03-19 11:13, dogbytes wrote:

On 2003-03-19 11:00, emspace wrote:
Is this turning into the Meat Is Murder thread?

nooo.. i'd be making fun of that website if it were sponsored by Tofurkey!

[ Edited by: dogbytes on 2003-03-19 11:26 ]

Wasn't necessarily referring to your posts dogbytes. But there are a few...I tell ya, it makes me wanna gnaw a raw, frozen tenderloin - and luckily I happen to have a few on hand.

gnarf,
em.

That is funny....or sick....or both. lol
em, no offense, but i think you missed the point a bit. Seems to me they were knocking the contrast of the website and its intended purpose not meat in general.

[ Edited by: PoiBoy on 2003-03-19 11:50 ]

"...load up on Bovine Growth Hormone..."

"Isn't it cool 2 destroy the Amazon?"

"...generous helpings of hormone laden beef and dairy...when these kids are 300 lbs. and sue McDonalds..."

"...a nice serving of cow's blood, fortified with Vitamin F..."

Poi's good food too of course. But yes, I think another agenda besides website criticism was being served here.

And in the end, like everything else besides love, it really kinda doesn't matter, so I'll just shut up now and go have some meat or meatlike substitutes cuz lunchtime is here. Gotta fulfill my role as an apex predator (okay: scavenger).

:wink:, em.

I'm sorry but I just see them using sarcasm and exaggeration for humorous purposes. Maybe I'm wrong. At any rate, enjoy that meat, em.
~poi

[ Edited by: PoiBoy on 2003-03-19 13:22 ]

Aaarrrgghghmeat! Gnarf, gnarf! Lord Shiva, it was good!

Anyway I may as well admit I have an agenda too. I joined Tiki Central because I figured I'd find folks who also believe the Good Word: it's okay to be happy. I am saddened though to find that not all are really feeling that day-to-day joy down in their hearts. But let me just witness for a minute here: you can overcome the effects of three decades of life-denying, joy-killing propaganda from - well, sorry but there's no other term - losers who have been psychologically ripped up by envy of people who are happy, comfortable, and enjoy the occasional chunk of animal flesh while driving their big, flashy town cars, SUVs, and zippy sports machines.

How such rancorous, disappointed, vengeful little people managed to get such a wolverine-like grip on the psyche of America (and naturally my country since we do everything you guys do) is one for the history books, but I'll leave that job to the future. Journalists, of course, are the main conduit, God love 'em. Time was, the lone nut with the "Doom is Coming!" sandwich board was ignored, but you can't do that anymore, because now he is millions of nuts, not lone any more, but a Movement (and I use the word in every sense you can imagine): The Doom Movement.

Fight it! Ignore it! Turn off the news and have a Mai-Tai! Not in despair but in celebration! Cross-reference my posts in the "Is this politics or art? (POLITICS, READ AT OWN RISK)" thread! It's time we founded our own Movement, and dislodged the constipated mass of propaganda that we've lived with every waking day for thirty years! I live in a city where the junkie who mugs your Granny gets far more sympathy than your Granny, I know what I'm talking about here, folks. Correctness is the fastest route to an uncomfortable and embarassing trip up your own sphincter to face those awful clogs, FIGHT IT!!!

much aloha,
em.

P.S. I apologize for the scatalogical metaphors.

I love children, they taste like chicken...

Children are okay, but it's whale sashimi for me every time.

:), em

On 2003-03-19 13:08, emspace wrote:
I joined Tiki Central because I figured I'd find folks who also believe the Good Word: it's okay to be happy.

But, but, but I AM happy not eating beef, and riding my bicycle around town instead of driving.
I'm not denying myself any pleasure at all! And I think anyone who has met me can assure you that even though I don't eat hotdogs, I still know how to have a good time. The two things aren't mutually exclusive. Sheesh!

Thank you, I'll hop off my wee soap box now!

Well Tikifish, I never denied you are happy. Just so the meat-consumption (and fossil-fuel consumption) habits of others don't make you unhappy. It is so completely against the spirit of those innocent forefathers of ours, yes, the ones who created Polynesian pop! Live and let live, O Tikifish!

My Gawd, we could open a whole new can of worms here: are we "trying to recreate the classic era of Tiki", or "trying to shoehorn the classic era of Tiki into a world ravished by guilt of things like meat, alcohol, and big-car consumption"...the mind reels...

I don't think I'm up to that. Besides, some dude from Shaw Cable is coming to swap out my modem, and I have to paint a dresser. I should shut down. I'm afraid to come back and look at this later...gulp!

Hope I haven't offended, I really just want everyone to be happier and less judgmental of each other...really!

aloha big-time,
em.

I love children -- they're yummier than veal and foie gras.

[ Edited by: purple jade 2006-03-20 21:34 ]

It reminds me of when I was a vegetarian back in the day during high school, my physics teacher telling me that he wasn't surprised--statistically, pre-teen/teenage girls were the population group with highest percentage of vegetarians. The meat industry probably has the same information and is doing some Barbie marketing.

*On 2003-03-19 14:04, purple jade wrote:*It's funny you think that, to use a term from another thread, "health-nazis" are spouting propaganda, but you don't think the beef people...

Hi purplejade,

nope, I never said I didn't think the meat people weren't spouting propaganda. I refrained from mentioning them at all. Just that most people's negative responses to meat are a result of propaganda, not from the medical community, but the aforementioned rancorous disappointed vengeful people. The Doom Movement.

Er...and I'm quite regular thanx. That nonsense about meat creating permanent clogs in your bowel is just that. An urban myth, perpetrated by The Doom Movement once again. If ya don't believe me, next time yer in a hospital ask to see some barium fluoroscopies of a lifelong meat-eater's colon. If nothing else, the looks on their faces will be worth it.

:)
peace out, or should I say "Logout",
em

Erp, too many negatives in that last one's first sentence. Now it's my head that's getting clogged. But yer probably right; nobody meant in any way to imply that there was something wrong with eating meat in any of those posts. Nuff said, already!

l8r d00dz as they say in cyberland,
em

It's 24 hours after I first saw that website and I'm still laughing!

Hidden Agenda aside, the website appears to not have any Visible Agenda. The message seems to be self-referencing: To be cool, you gotta be real. To be real, you gotta be cool. There's not even a spice girl "Girl power!" fake message there ... it's not about girls standing up for themselves, it's about girls being, well, um, real. Whatever that means.

Dogbytes: I found this web through some business article about dumbest business moves of 2002. I think this was in the top 20.

emspace: Take a deep breath ... relax. No one's forcing a veggie-agenda on you here. I don't think the negative comments on beef here translate to "Tiki Central must go veggie".

~Hanford

Thanx Hanford, yes, breathe...like the lovely song in the new Mistubishi commercial advises...hey, at least we could coin a new word here: "vegenda", short for veggie-agenda.

I should explain to all that my sensitivity in this area comes from the fact of an ALF splinter-group located here in Vancouver having sent a mailbomb to my uncle, a cattle breeder in Calgary. Fortunately he's suspicious of packages from unknown senders and was only blown through a wall of his office, having opened it with some kinda stick (probably a hockey stick, pardon the attempt to lighten things up). So, they failed to kill him. They did "take responsiblity" in the Newspeak parlance, but have never been caught.

So though I support everyone's right to nourish and transport themselves as they see fit (because fundamentally I am for people expressing their uniqueness, precisely what Correctness is attempting to eliminate), I am and always will be leery of activism in most of its forms. To paraphrase Yoda, activism leads to extremism, extremism leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering.

love to all,
em.

Tiki Chris - There are no more mad cows over here! We have by far the most strict laws in the world regarding what you should feed cattle and how they should be kept. Aberdeen Angus is perhaps the finest beef in the world!

However, as you probably know, those terrible steak house restaurants in London are as close to a 'near death' experience that you can have while being fit and healthy, and are single-handedly responsible for the 'British food is dog-shit' reputation we have over here.

Trader Woody

Well, em, I think that incident with your uncle certainly explains a lot about your rant. That really is despicable, whether you're a vegetarian or not. Surely I won't come off as too contoversial when I suggest that murder isn't really an acceptable solution to your grievances?

I am udderly fascinated by that website. (ha) It's so creepy but hysterical. I've been laughing, but with the heebie-jeebies at the same time.

And Woody, I must respectfully disagree about the beef. I have had the Aberdeen Angus and it is mighty fine. And I may prefer some well aged mid-west corn fed or California grass fed. Just no junk cattle that they feed with sheetrock.

But we both lose to the majesty that is Wagyu (Kobe) Beef from Japan. There is nothing else like it in the world. Sliced thin and eat raw or flash grilled on open flame. Spectacular.

Sorry for grossing out the Vegetarians.

-martin

There is a game on the site that takes place in a jungle with tikis!!! AND in one of the game rooms, you have to tell the tiki man a joke to get past him!!!
here's the joke:
What do you call cheese that is not yours?

For God's sake, try to rejoice!

em,

I rejoice in the realness of beef!

You got beef?
Thor

On 2003-03-19 17:38, Futura Girl wrote:
What do you call cheese that is not yours?

oooohhmmmmm... dickcheese?

i cant find that game! and i also have a weird fascination with the site.. i am using the name meatgurl which makes it even more fun...

[ Edited by: purple jade 2006-03-20 21:34 ]

I once ran across a webpage advertising a Minnesota summer camp for sexually-active Christian teens.

I am not making this up! (Seriously.)

-Galbee Thor

Ummm, so this camp was a place to get together to express their sexually-active status! I LOVE CAMPS LIKE THAT!!!

Now we know where the beef is!

aloha,
em :)

I once found a website for a man with a fetish about loving and eating small women. No, Not giving oral pleasure to dwarves, but to literally eat real women, shrunk to 2 inch sizes. He had drawn cartoons of this and everything. he was very adamant that it wasn't about dwarves or midgets, cause, hey, that would be sick, right?

It takes all kinds! haha!

Just to clear things up to emspace and anyone else who might think I'm a prude, I am TOTALLY against political correctness. I don't like to tell other people what to eat/smoke/think/wear/do, because I don't like them telling me the same.

That's precisely why I like the tiki thing. BECAUSE it's so politically incorrect!

took me some time to find it again... but here's the game
http://www.kidscom.com/games/jungle/jungle.html

On 2003-03-19 15:42, Trader Woody wrote:
Aberdeen Angus is perhaps the finest beef in the world!

no qualms w/ ya over that. & wild beef from devonshire is delicious too.

never been to one of those steakhouses. although, they're quite ubiquitous & look icky.

my "land of madcows & beefeaters" closing was not meant to imply that the disease is still a problem over here, just a takeoff on "mad dogs & englishmen". sorry if that wasn't clear.

chris

[ Edited by: tiki chris on 2003-03-20 03:40 ]

On 2003-03-19 17:30, martiki6 wrote:
But we both lose to the majesty that is Wagyu (Kobe) Beef from Japan. There is nothing else like it in the world.
-martin

Ah, I've heard good things about Kobe beef. That's the one they make $40 burgers out of, right? There was an article about a guy in the UK who has brought a few Kobe cows over here, and he has to massage them every day. What some people will do for a decent steak....

Trader Woody

I wonder if they make Kobe beef jerky(?)

On 2003-03-19 21:06, tikifish wrote:
Just to clear things up to emspace and anyone else who might think I'm a prude, I am TOTALLY against political correctness. I don't like to tell other people what to eat/smoke/think/wear/do, because I don't like them telling me the same.

That's precisely why I like the tiki thing. BECAUSE it's so politically incorrect!

Tikifish, you're the best. And I'm sorry I flew off the forkin' handle there. I don't think anyone here is of the "ram-my-philosophy-down-yer-throat" type. If anything I was starting to head in that dnagerous direction myself...

Now, how is it that nobody has brought up Alberta beef? Though I don't think they get massaged much...I'm just trying to picture a good ol' Alberta boy massaging a steer, and it isn't working for me.

:)
em

I've had a double Mai Tai, a Rum Runner, and a brandy nightcap this eve, (what can I say?....There's a war on, you know)..I took one more look at this site...It's just a little too much. I'm not 'feelin the whole meat is 2-kewl vibe...I guess eye just don't feel 2 real. (Maybe I just can't see past the "bolt gun" and the "blood-squeegee room" down at the killhouse). :(

I think it would be fun to give a steer a massage. As long as I don't have to give it a 'happy ending' too!

On 2003-03-21 06:19, tikifish wrote:
I think it would be fun to give a steer a massage. As long as I don't have to give it a 'happy ending' too!

ROFLMFAO!!!

:lol:, em