sea turtle wanted , small and stuffed!

I just gotta get a sea turtle for the tiki bar.not a shell, a taxidermied sea turtle!.just email me so the nature nazis don't give you any sh-t!. $$$$$$$$$$$cash waiting.

Did you hear the one about the turtle Nazi?
He left Germany to invade Poland in 1941... and he's still on his way there.

ba-dum bum.

I saw plenty of them in Vietnam last Summer for sale, but highly illegal to import. Of course if it is an antique it is OK. Have a search around the web.

I've been looking periodically on ebay for stuffed sea turtles for over a year to no avail! I'd actually like a fake one, but I don't think they make those. They make a good looking fake swordfish, I think I'll get me one of them.

Winner of the "Most Locked Topics" Award!

[ Edited by: kahukini on 2003-06-13 08:00 ]

You mean one of these?

Let me know if you're interested. I know a guy that does them...

Isn't there one in the Ti with lightbulbs on it's flippers? Hanging upside down? Or am I thinking of somewhere else. I'm always loaded there, so the whole place is just sort of brown and glow-y.

Gamera is at the Tiki Ti? Oh sshhh...ttt!

On 2003-06-13 11:04, thechikitiki wrote:
Gamera is at the Tiki Ti? Oh sshhh...ttt!

Gamera... Gamera.... Gamera is really neat, he is made of turtle meat, we all love you Gamera!

Rattiki wrote:
I saw plenty of them in Vietnam last Summer for sale, but highly illegal to import.

I'm not familiar with these, so is it that these are endangered or a protected species? I understand that giant clams are no longer legal to see on the marketplace unless it's a vintage one. (I assume there's a way to tell if the clam is vintage?).

Well done folks! Keep on destroying the ocean-life for your own decor.

"Nature Nazis"?
You dick-end.

Trader Woody

On 2003-06-13 19:05, Trader Woody wrote:
Well done folks! Keep on destroying the ocean-life for your own decor.

"Nature Nazis"?
You dick-end.

Trader Woody

Agreed. Try swimming with them sometime and then see if hanging one on the ceiling is a better way to appreciate them.

Sheesh.

pele

They don't taste too good either. Sorry TW.

You ARE a dick-end. And shame on me for not being brave enough to say as much when I first read this. Bravo, Woody.

What's a dick-end?

I beleive that would be the foreskin.
But I could be wrong. Woody's from England, so it could mean a chip buttie or something like that too.

Thanks Fish, I can live with that. Had to cut loose at least once.

I'ld love to get a nice "vintage" turtle, or a Black Sea Bass, or any other "vintage" aquatic endagered species. I'ld like my bar to be like a zoo. You know, the animals come alive when your loaded.

Cheers,

KT

oops!, I offended that FRENCH guy trader woody!. so sorry!.I meant to say a sea turtle that died of natural causes after a long life of protesting against everything that the liberal inteligensia holds dear. And in place of nature nazis, put nature ex-imperialists that barely whipped argentina and that once had a pair to match his "dick-end" and have to drink their beer warm cuz they have lucas powered refridgerators!!!. just kidding!!!. I was just funnin'y'all.peace out!. TWT

Well before anyone jumps to any conclusions, the sea turtle pic I posted is a replica. You see, many fishermen no longer stuff their catch like in the past. Its actually frowned upon now. There's a new method for displaying something the one may catch in the deep blue sea - its called release mounting.

What is release mounting? Its a process that taxidermists use to replicate a catch by use of photos and dimensions. The fisherman can display a "trophy" on his wall of what he caught and release the fish/turtle/shark, etc. back into the ocean.

Here's some info on what I'm talking about:
http://www.kingsailfishmounts.com/releasemountinfo.htm

And yes, I'm still looking for a minimum 6 foot long Sailfish or Blue Marlin for my wall!

On 2003-06-15 00:53, twowheelin'tiki wrote:
oops!, I offended that FRENCH guy trader woody!. so sorry!.I meant to say a sea turtle that died of natural causes after a long life of protesting against everything that the liberal inteligensia holds dear. And in place of nature nazis, put nature ex-imperialists that barely whipped argentina and that once had a pair to match his "dick-end" and have to drink their beer warm cuz they have lucas powered refridgerators!!!. just kidding!!!. I was just funnin'y'all.peace out!. TWT

Yeah yeah, 'just kidding'. Bullshit. You wanted a sea turtle for your bar, end of story. Chuck in a few cheap anti-British jibes just because I dared criticise your low-grade plan and, errr...it's all a big joke.

I'm no tree-hugger, I've eaten a great many creatures and bit's of creatures on this planet, but using endangered species for pointless, selfish gain disgusts me. Once you start mounting sea turtles on your wall you enter the same league as those scum who take powdered rhino horn just to get a boner.

And if the word 'Dick-end' caused you so much difficulty, please just take off the 'end'.

Trader Woody

oh my!!. For the record , I was NOT kidding about the sea turtle. I want one and will get one, replica or real.The jibes was the kidding part. Why must people be so sensitive!. A gal I can understand, but a male brit?,you guys are supposed to be warriors! .You must be a franc, cuz no self respecting norman would ever call someone such foul names unles they KNEW them to be deserving of such.I know you guys don't have that free speech thing down yet, but damn dude, easy on the blood pressure. Maybe a nice joint would be a good thing.Now while you fetch a tissue, I will get back to my spotted owl flavored tofu soup before returning to the forest to hunt for little innocent,cute,furry,helpless.......plants!.Long live the green party!!.peace. TWT

hey pop, you did want a FAKE sailfish right?. It's not safe out there to be so loose with your words. Oh, I got my bag of ground rhino horn back from you and DAMN!, did you have an orgy?. You snorted half the bag!, greedy sumbish!. Hey, did you hear that loud bang?, I think T.W. just had blew a head gasket!!.IT'S ALL IN FUN!!!!,RELAX.

Normans ARE French.

Actually, yesterday I was at Canada's Wonderland taking Mr. Fishstick out for a birthday roller coaster fix, when I saw some very very real looking stuffed sea turtles you could win at one of the prize booths...
It seems if one wanted a zoo-esque feeling in the bar, but were also opposed to killing/improting endangered critters, that would be a nice way to decorate.

Off to pet my spotted owl and make some tofu soup now, ta ta!

Jaheezius Christ, I KNEW this one was going to get sticky in a hurry and was going to keep my ass out of it, but...twowheelin', if you've read my posts you'll know me for one of the most steadfastly anti-Correctness guys in this forum. But on this one, I am perplexed and puzzled by your attitude. Surely, your freakin' bar isn't worth whacking a member of an endangered species?

Is the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species really a Nazi organization in your eyes? All that tells me is that you throw the word "Nazi" around a bit loosely, exactly like the very same liberal Birkenstock-wearing intelligentsia you and I both think are such a joke.

I think it's you that needs to lighten up a bit, if only on the importance of your bar.

aloha,
emspace.

yo emspace, forgive me for baiting....I was feeling frisky. now lets get this sea turtle thing straight. If you read the first post, it does NOT say "I want someone to go out and kill a sea turtle for my bar. Even I know that the little varmints are a protected spieces, but that does not mean that someone out in tiki land didn't score on a LONG AGO stuffed turtle at the local swap meet or a garage sale.And if wanting one offends someone out there.....well, sorry bout that. I'm sure my pufferfish was cute and important to his/her family too.And jade, normans settled in france, but were in fact vikings...normans=northmen..get it?.As a person of northern descent, it pains me deeply what the francs turned into(canadians excluded).Now everyone smoke a joint and think of witty responses.

[ Edited by: twowheelin'tiki on 2003-06-15 23:47 ]

On 2003-06-15 14:41, twowheelin'tiki wrote:
oh my!!. For the record , I was NOT kidding about the sea turtle. I want one and will get one, replica or real.The jibes was the kidding part. Why must people be so sensitive!. A gal I can understand, but a male brit?,you guys are supposed to be warriors! .You must be a franc, cuz no self respecting norman would ever call someone such foul names unles they KNEW them to be deserving of such.I know you guys don't have that free speech thing down yet

Call me what you want - your pig-ignorant slurs are water off a ducks back. (Norman? Doh!) (No freedom of speech in England? Double doh!). Anyone who has to resort to giving people sh*t about their nationality is something of an idiot, anyway.

What pisses me off is your selfish need to perpetuate the trade in endangered species for no good reason at all. There are fake sea turtles out there. Just get one of those!
No doubt you'll get yourself a real one in the end, (probably more out of spite than anything else) but by doing so you join the ranks of the scumbags who knowingly accelerate the extinction of a species.

Trader Woody

[ Edited by: Trader Woody on 2003-06-16 07:37 ]

since you put it in such a nice way for a CHANGE, I will let you know that I have looked into a fake, and if it's not a fortune I will get it.Out west here, these things are fairly common in some antique shops and they are long since dead!.the nationality jibes are all that were on hand!.I will watch your future posts for better jokes in the future in case another attack happens!.

now lets all try and respect each others wants and needs, p.c. or not.PEACE. TWT

If I were to kill one and stuff it, I would want a big one. Eat the inners save the outers! ROCK ON!

I love wild animals, they taste great!

Good luck in getting a fake, TWT. I've seen them out in Spain and they don't cost much. I'd have brought one back myself, but my backpack was already full of Tiki's & booze.

Over & out for this topic,

Trader Woody

Well perhaps room for one more post. Here's Nature Nazi Woody giving a fake dolphin a Tibetan head massage...

Trader Woody

uhhhh........Men don't give HEAD massages, especially to dolphins!

And what is your hand doing in your pocket, hey wait a minute....

your name is Woody, as in a Woody, as in...OH GOD! I think I am going to be sick!

[ Edited by: KokomoTikiBar&Grill on 2003-06-16 14:49 ]

And to make it worse, I was thinking of YOU at the time, Kokomo!

Trader Woody

You are a sick dick-end!

On 2003-06-13 20:39, thechikitiki wrote:
What's a dick-end?

If you haven't figured it out yet, it means your knob, and if you don't know what a knob is then sod off! :wink: Guess I lived around the Brits too long.

OK for what it's worth. Sea turtles of all species (as far as I know) have been on the endangered list for decades. They used to hunt them here in the FL Keys in mass 50+ years ago to almost extinction. I even ran a busy, harbor side restaurant's kitchen called the Turtle Kraals that was once a turtle pen and slaughter house here for them. So wanting a newly killed sea turtle, such as I saw in VN, is YES distasteful at best. Believe me I had a few polite, but direct words with the vendors there about it (as if they care what some goofy westerner thinks as long as the rich Chinese still buy them!). Meanwhile it is now the norm (but not the law) to tag and release billfish since they are the predators (or lions) of the sea and also are not popular to eat (unlike swordfish, still a billfish and predator, which is NOT generally released, but eaten ALL the time everywhere and probably by some of you!). When the good sports fisher person (and a good one only keeps what he'll eat, and that is RARE as the mate can sell the fish to restaurants for $$$) he can, for a large sum $$$ have a faxsmile of his fish made for him in plastic.

On the other hand an antique is OK as it is from a more innocent age and is NOT adding to the destruction of the present day wild life. Which BTW eating ANY wild fish (not farm raised) such as tuna, mahi mahi, halibut and the like IS destroying the WILDLIFE and ecosystems of the sea, so stick that in you tofu shoe and beat it :P

Also to add more fuel to the fire, if you all didn't already know, many animals that were once endangered are NO LONGER, and have been taken off the list of endangered species. AND since there is now a chance of the animals starving to death (due to the lack of their natural predators). They are even culled, with the skins etc. sold for profit, and the profits used to maintain their existing wildlife habitats. So you can go on camera safari in say Africa and see them as I did. This I noticed recently was (I believe they were once endangered) the case with Zebra skins. A very cool item for one's Tiki bar. =-O OHH!! HOW TERRIBLE!!!

twowheelin'tiki & Trader Woody please stop acting like a couple of wankers and be nice. :wink: I am sure this is just a bit of ignorance and/or misunderstanding.

PolynesianPop where did you see/get the faux turtle, and where was it made originally?

For the record, since I hear some people have misunderstood me, I DID NOT call Chikitiki a dick end. I was agreeing with Trader Woody when he called the author of this thread one. I have no problems with Chikitiki.

[ Edited by: purple jade on 2003-06-16 18:53 ]

what a blast this thread was!. Glad the british equivelent of midol finally kicked in!. I could not wait to log on and check out the latst jab!. T.W.,I would be hyper sensitive too if I lived in a temperate zone,so if you come out to the land of sunshine, I will take you to sea world and we can molest dolphins together!(the turtles are all mine). Sorry to purple jade, I only like to sass male liberals, chicks get a pass( read -I forgot about the gentle half of the spieces).peace my nizzies!. TWT

just wanted you to meet "Dunkirk" my drinking buddy(even though he smokes).

[ Edited by: twowheelin'tiki on 2003-06-16 20:35 ]

On 2003-06-16 19:39, twowheelin'tiki wrote:
what a blast this thread was

Cool, as long as no animals were harmed during the making of this thread!

Trader Woody

On 2003-06-16 18:32, Rattiki wrote:
PolynesianPop where did you see/get the faux turtle, and where was it made originally?

Rattiki, the faux turtle I have pictured is from King Sailfish Mounts. They are a taxidermy service that replicates a sports fisherman's catch using a process called "Release Mounting." Read about it here:

http://www.kingsailfishmounts.com/releasemountinfo.htm

Here's their gallery of release mounts. None of the sealife here is real - they're all replica's and look fantastic:

http://www.kingsailfishmounts.com/fishmounts.php

....Dunkirk....I crack myself up!!!

Jeezis, you are feeling frisky!

em.

I've decided TWT's actually pretty cool...
zazz...
gnarly...
rad...
smoove...
fly...
groovy...
nifty...
for a dick-end. :P

As Elvis would say"thankyouverymush"

Just to add my two cents to this post...I live on Anna Maria Island in Florida and sea turtles are highly protected here. As soon as one is found dead on the shore it is taken in to be tested. People here do morning and evening walks on the beach called Turtle Watch to find turtles, eggs, or markings by the turtles. Each year the totals go down drastically in turtle egg laying. I personally would not want one stuff on my wall but to each his one. I know seeing one in the water everytime takes my breath away. People wanting them stuffed makes a market for the capture of them and killing them just for that and other reasons. I would highly suggest a relic...thats my two cents.

read the posts!.

twowheelin'tiki, I believe I did... did you was the question? Warrior you say? You need to read more up on the warriors of our past and learn from them...