What is the worst song of all time?

A while back Dave Barry wrote a piece for his weekly syndicated column in the Miami Herald, inviting his readers to vote for the worst song of all time. He figured it was a clever ploy to get an easy second column out of it announcing the winner. Then mail started coming in, bags of mail, stacked boxes of mail, it was everywhere - the Miami Herald had to hire TWO PEOPLE just to open and sort the mail from this column. In pretty short order, Dave realized he had touched a nerve in the American people, and he'd have to write a book, not just a second column, analyzing the results. The result is called "Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs". It's a hilarious read if you're interested.

I thought it might be interesting to see what our little community's worst songs are. Most of the DB's voting was along predictable lines, pop songs with awful lyrics that fester in your brain for weeks.

SO, be warned ... even thinking of the worst song of all time may cause it to become uncomfortably lodged in your brain for what may seem like eternity.

If you dare ... give us your vote for WORST SONG OF ALL TIME.

Jay Ferguson's "Thunder Island".

http://music.walmart.com/m/006/17/74/20/28/22/0061774202822.01.01.001.mp3

Anything by Air Supply, Barry Manilow or Barbara Streisand...

anything by the gratefull dead!!!

I nominate 'Friend Like Me' .... the song that interrupts the original 'In the Tiki Tiki Tiki Room' song in the Orlando Disneyland's version of the Enchanted Tiki room.

I've never actually heard or listened to it yet, but I hate it anyway.

Vern

[ Edited by: ikitnrev on 2003-09-03 21:36 ]

They're coming to take me away haha hehe hoho to the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're coming to take me away HAHA
By Napolean

[ Edited by: jungletrader on 2003-09-04 17:24 ]

I second the vote on Grateful Dead!!

Also, "She's Like the Wind" by Patrick Swayze - featured on the Dirty Dancing Soundtrack.

The worst song ever is Muscrat Love. How did that piece of shit get played so much??

apologies in advance, but i am copying the entire lyrics to stress that it really is the worst song ever...

Feelings, nothing more than feelings,
Trying to forget my feelings of love.
Teardrops rolling down on my face,
Trying to forget my feelings of love.

Feelings, for all my life I'll feel it.
I wish I've never met you, girl;
You'll Never Come Again.

Feelings,
woa woa woa feelings,
woa woa woa feel you again in my arms.

Feelings, feelings like I've never lost you
And feelings like i've never have you
Again in my heart.

Feelings, for all my life I'll feel it.
I wish I've never met you, girl;
You'll never come again.

Feelings, feelings like I've never lost you
And feelings like i've never have you
Again in my life.

Feelings,
woa woa woa feelings,
woa woa woa feelings again in my arms.

Feelings...
(repeat & fade)

hey - thanks for the music link al - i LOVE Thunder Island :) made me wanna hear the rest of it...

De do do do de da da da
is all I want to say to you
de do do do de da da da
their innocence will pull me through
de do do do de da da da
is all I want to say to you
de do do do de da da da
they're meaningless and all that's true

Anything by JB makes me sick to my stomach.

I can think of some songs that are so bad they are worthy of study. Ever heard Leonard Nimoy's version of "Sunny?"

One of my sisters wrote this song when she was real little. The lyrics and melody aren't THAT bad if you consider it was written by a 3 year old:

TITLE: The Lights Are Blue

Where are you?
The lights are blue.
The waiter's waiting on meeeee...
And I cannot look for you,
'Cause the lights are bluuuuuuuuue...

"Worst Song" is pretty broad, but the one criteria I use is "how fast do I lunge for the dial when that song begins on the radio"...my top speeds are realized when I hear the beginning of "Wind beneath my wings" or "I have always loved you" (Whitney Houston's ode to Bobby)

Billy Joel - I love you just the way...

It hurts.

"> I can think of some songs that are so bad they are worthy of study.
Ever
heard Leonard Nimoy's version of "Sunny?""
I'm not quite sure if my version of sunny is worthy of study-but, boy is it....Undescribeable! It scares Tikihag big time!! --bruce

mrsmiley wrote

"I'm not quite sure if my version of sunny is worthy of study-but, boy is it....Undescribeable! It scares Tikihag big time!!

Ikatnrev and Tikibob found it a bit disturbing too, I seem to recall...

But tikivixen LOVES it!!! :)

The Beach Boy's 'Kokomo' is my number one hated song of all time.

Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama...

Olivia Newton John
"I Honestly Love You" and "Let's Get Physical".

The worst song? William Shatner's version of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds."

In 2nd place: anything by the Shaggs.

--cindy

On 2003-09-04 13:15, cynfulcynner wrote:
The worst song? William Shatner's version of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds."

I have an album called Golden Throats, The Great Celebrity Sing Off which includes:

1. Leonard Nimoy singing Proud Mary
2. Eddie Albert singing It Ain't Me Babe
3. William Shatner singing Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds AND Mr. Tambourine Man (with
   Bill screaming hysterically "MR. TAMBOURINE MAN, MR. TAMBORINNNNE MAN!!!")
4. Jack Webb singing Try a Little Tenderness
5. Mae West singing Twist and Shout and
6. Jim Nabors singing You are the Sunshine of My Life

There are a bunch of Golden Throats...

G.T. vol 1

G.T. vol 2

G.T. vol 3

G.T. vol 4

It's too hard to pick THE Worst Song, so I'll have to say, in addition to some already mentioned; Heartbeat, by Don Miami Vice Johnson and Ironic by Alanis Morissette makes my ears bleed.

I went to high school with these guys. They had talent but this song stunk. The Hudson Brothers "Rendevous".

One time I went to Karioke with my son & daughter-in-law to watch'em sing & they "Kamakazi"ed me with "King Tut" (that means they put in a request & I have to sing it). Now I like the song, & I can sing the song, but I hate to be Kamakazied, so my retribution was swift & without remorse: I Kamakazied my son with "Little Green Apples" & my Daughter-in-law with "Halfbreed". I'm holding "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" & "Bang Bang" in reserve for the next time I go visit'em.

"My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion.
Makes my brain hemorrhage.

I usually think in terms of horrible tunes that I can sing! If I'm doing karaoke, I want the audience to have a good time (and not just focus on the pitch perfect tone of my voice)!
Some of my favorites are: Mac Arthur Park, Brandy, Sunny.
Some I would LOVE to sing: One tin Soldier, The Night Chicago Died.
The tune I always try to dig up in someone's music collection to piss off party guests: Sailing by Christopher Cross
Two songs that tie for most annoying lyric line or lyrics in general. "looking for that lost shaker of salt" from JB's Margaritaville and "just like Bogey and Bacall" from Key Largo.
The tune that still makes my misty eyed when I hear it because it reminds me of an incredible love affair I had "The joker" by Steve Miller. Call me Maurice anytime, darling!

On 2003-09-04 16:23, mrsmiley wrote:
The tune that still makes my misty eyed when I hear it because it reminds me of an incredible love affair I had "The joker" by Steve Miller. Call me Maurice anytime, darling!

What's the pompatus of love? :lol:

On 2003-09-04 16:41, cynfulcynner wrote:

What's the pompatus of love? :lol:

It was a movie, starring Jon Cryer :D

This is a subject very near and dear (?) to my heart. My nominees, not necessarily in any order:

1. "Seasons in the Sun" - Terry Jacks
2. Concrete Sea" - Terry Jacks (yep, he gets two!)
3. "I Can't Fight This Feeling Any More" - REO Speedwagon
4. "Horse With No Name" - America
5. "In the Year 2525" - Zager and Evans
6. "Hooked on A Feeling" - Blue Swede
7. "Stuck in the Middle With You" - Stealer's Wheel

I am very serious about these. I couldn't give a rat's patoot if a song was used in a Tarantino movie, dreck is dreck. Poisonally, I think most of Tarnatino is dreck too...which goes to show how truly unkool I am...

:), em

Stairway to Heaven - without question.

Er...geez, I like a lot of these songs. Somewhat ironically in a few cases.

Just off the top of my head, two songs that really make me lunge for the dial are both by Suzanne Vega. Just bad luck for her really, but Blood Makes Noise and Tom's Diner make me want to kill. There's plenty more. Yeah, I can't really sit through Celine either, but who can?

There's so much mediocre music these days- not that much to me is really all out bad, just unoriginal and forgettable.

Oh! Remember that nasty ass song "How Bizzare" by OMC a few years ago? That actually just sucked outright.

I picked up the Shatner album with Lucy I The Sky With Diamonds, it is a concept album that is so bad that it is a classic

Way to much crap out there to pick just one. But here is some garbage that come to mind. Anything by eminem makes my butt pucker. Also, anything with a cheesy keyboard intro gets turned off before the last notes can be heard. Getty Lee's voice (The singer from Rush) makes my skin want to leave the building. There is also an oldie tune about Vincent Van Gosh (starry, starry night, paint your palette blah, blah blah, ) that stinker makes me want to puke when ever it gets played.
Hmm, I feel better now that I got that off my chest, I thank you.

Chongolio

-- I believe that our Heavenly Father invented the monkey because he was disappointed in man."
... Mark Twain

[ Edited by: Chongolio on 2003-09-04 20:41 ]

[ Edited by: Chongolio on 2003-09-04 20:42 ]

Feelings, nothing more than feelings,
Trying to forget my feelings of love.
Teardrops rolling down on my face,
Trying to forget my feelings of love.

Feelings, for all my life I'll feel it.
I wish I've never met you, girl;
You'll Never Come Again.

Feelings, woa woa woa feelings, woa woa woa feel you again in my arms.

Feelings, feelings like I've never lost you
And feelings like i've never have you
Again in my heart.

Feelings, for all my life I'll feel it.
I wish I've never met you, girl;
You'll never come again.

Feelings, feelings like I've never lost you
And feelings like i've never have you
Again in my life.

Feelings, woa woa woa feelings, woa woa woa feelings again in my arms.

Feelings... (repeat & fade)

The MTV's "Unplugged" version of "Layla" by Eric Clapton. Still makes me want to disembowel myself and roll in a kiddie pool full of double edged razor blades and dog shit. Even after the 26,000th time hearing it.

I have to confess I have a Celine Dion song on my Ipod.
Give yourself up to the dark side, Martiki...

Emspace,

3 of the songs on your list I love. Viva la difference I guess.

When I first moved to L. A. they kept playing this friggin' crappy "song" on the local stations - I'd even hear it with my radio off! It made me rip my radio from my truck and throw it out the window going 60 down the 405. I tried to swallow a bullet but didn't have any on me (peanuts are not quite the same.)

The worst thing about it-I actually had to do an internet search to verify the title.

"L.A. Song"  by  Beth Hart.

I just hope I never run into her at a cocktail party!

Alnshely, how can someone as beautiful Jay Ferguson be bad?

"Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right...stuck in the middle with you."
The movie "Reservoir Dogs" puts that tune in perspective.
I dig music, so can't think too much on the "worst." Just usually ignore.

On 2003-09-04 22:13, tiki-riviera wrote:
Emspace,

3 of the songs on your list I love. Viva la difference I guess.

Hiay Tiki-riviera,

I knew I'd offend a few people with some of those choices (I forgot one too, "Mr. Roboto" by Styx!), but be of good cheer: it's their very popularity that killed 'em for me, just as "Stairway" must have for Scigirl...after the twenty-millionth time it just ain't the same any more...

:), em.

The songs I cannot move fast enough to get off the radio are:

"Sherry" by Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons (well, anything by the Four Seasons, but Sherry's the worst)

"Patches" by Clarence Carter. The song was actually a 1971 R&B Grammy Award winner - What were they smokin'?

Patches, in particular, irks me because it was co-written by one of my favorite performers, General Johnson, and was performed by Clarence Carter, whose "Slip Away" is one of my all-time faves.

-JTD

[ Edited by: JTD on 2003-09-05 13:15 ]

At least you can change the dial when one of those stinkers comes on the radio. I had to listen to my new most hated song continuously for six hours and could not escape.

One of my employer's harebrained, I mean, countercyclical entreprenual endeavors is selling last minute gift items at mall kiosks right before Christmas. One dreadful day last December all of our sales staff was down with the flu.

I had to man the kiosk which was near the kiddie merry-go-round. The sound system was screwed up and played "Polly Wolly Doodle" over and over again at an extremely loud volume (Barney the Purple Dinosaur's version). I darn near hyperventilated.

On 2003-09-04 20:36, tikifish wrote:
I have to confess I have a Celine Dion song on my Ipod.
Give yourself up to the dark side, Martiki...

I sense a vast Canadian conspiracy. Are her songs prescribed as medicine through the health care system?

And by medicine I mean Ipecac.

It's not to late. You can still be saved Tikifish.

Actually, one thing I really enjoy about Celine is listening to her speak. Cracks me up every time. She has a magic combination of a French-Canadian accent and a screw loose.

On 2003-09-05 07:34, kctiki wrote:
The sound system played "Polly Wolly Doodle" (Barney the Purple Dinosaur's version).

To my ear, Barney sounds A LOT like Jello Biafra on that version.

I nominate 'Cat's In the Cradle.' If you really want the be-all and end-all of bad songs list, ask Mig about his 'party killer' disc... a cd of songs so bad that they will immediately mertilize a party.

And I really have to say - Mr. Smiley really does have an unhealthy obsession with 'MacArthur Park,' I'll never forget the visual of him singing it wearing Mig's gorilla mask at my birthday...

The country song "Fancy". It's the touching story about a mother turning her daughter out as a prostitute to save her destitute fasmily. Unfortunately everyone but Fancy dies, leaving her to become a rich call girl all on her own.

To make it even worse I usually hear it when my sister-in-law sings it with her daughter @ karioke. Not one of my in-laws find this as creepy as I do.

On 2003-09-05 09:16, Frenchy Polynesia wrote:
I nominate 'Cat's In the Cradle.'

Though I just heard a great cover sung by cartoon trees on a promo for "Family Guy".

On 2003-09-04 13:38, CruzinTiki wrote:

On 2003-09-04 13:15, cynfulcynner wrote:
The worst song? William Shatner's version of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds."

I have an album called Golden Throats, The Great Celebrity Sing Off which includes:

1. Leonard Nimoy singing Proud Mary
2. Eddie Albert singing It Ain't Me Babe
3. William Shatner singing Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds AND Mr. Tambourine Man (with
   Bill screaming hysterically "MR. TAMBOURINE MAN, MR. TAMBORINNNNE MAN!!!")
4. Jack Webb singing Try a Little Tenderness
5. Mae West singing Twist and Shout and
6. Jim Nabors singing You are the Sunshine of My Life

...What's scary is that I was just playing that album on the way to work. I love watching the teenagers with subs in the beds of their trucks cringe as I pull up next to'em in traffic .