Tikifish's Law of Buying Beer and Wine

I have this pet theory that works for me a very good percentage of the time when buying beer and wine. Here goes:

If the beer has an animal on the label, it is most likely horrid.
Examples: Labatt's Wildcat, Grizzly, Moosehead, etc.

If the wine has an animal on it, it is likey good:
Examples: Hippo Creek, Pelee Island Winery Flying Squirrel, Kanu (with a funky bird, I'm enjoying it right now thankyou) and the Australian one with the frogs and the wombat.

I wonder if this theory holds true in other countries?

Nice observations. Also, if the beer is in a clear bottle, it's bad.

http://www.thebeerstore.ca/storesandproducts/branddetails.asp?guid=5AEE5072-698D-424F-8D46-706B56D5BD09&id=2066&str=

A nice example of what you should probably avoid...

http://www.thebeerstore.ca/storesandproducts/branddetails.asp?guid=5AEE5072-698D-424F-8D46-706B56D5BD09&id=0565&str=

and this...

http://www.thebeerstore.ca/storesandproducts/branddetails.asp?guid=5AEE5072-698D-424F-8D46-706B56D5BD09&id=3856&str=

and this...

http://www.thebeerstore.ca/storesandproducts/branddetails.asp?guid=5AEE5072-698D-424F-8D46-706B56D5BD09&id=7884&str=

And this...

http://www.thebeerstore.ca/storesandproducts/branddetails.asp?guid=5AEE5072-698D-424F-8D46-706B56D5BD09&id=0871&str=

And I don't care what the Monde Selection Medal people say, this one probably tastes like ASS!

On 2003-11-21 16:29, tikifish wrote:

If the beer has an animal on the label, it is most likely horrid.
Examples: Labatt's Wildcat, Grizzly, Moosehead, etc.

I can't tell you about the wine, but true about the beer, unless it has a Cobra on it. Mamals: bad, sankes: good

Gee Tikifish,

I got to say, I actually like Moosehead. Also, one of my faves is called Grasshopper (insects are kinda like an animal, right?) by Big Rock (a local brewery).
But I do have to agree that Wildcat sucks. But that more adheres to my "Labatts and Molsons beers are crap" rule. Oh yeah, and most American beer (I said most, not all)

:)

-Slacks

Yeah, moosehead is the least offensive of the bunch. I was trying to make a point. But you gootta try Creemore or Camreron's Cream Ale. Mind you, that's Southern ontario beer...

You might not have tasted it!

On 2003-11-21 17:36, Slacks Ferret wrote:
Gee Tikifish,
I got to say, I actually like Moosehead.

I like Moosehead beer as well.

On 2003-11-21 17:36, Slacks Ferret wrote:
Gee Tikifish,
I got to say, I actually like Moosehead. Also, one of my faves is called Grasshopper (insects are kinda like an animal, right?) by Big Rock (a local brewery).
But I do have to agree that Wildcat sucks. But that more adheres to my "Labatts and Molsons beers are crap" rule. Oh yeah, and most American beer (I said most, not all)
:)
-Slacks

Add Cock of the Rock from Big Rock.

Try the beer names Fred that has a bulldog on it.

On 2003-11-21 17:36, Slacks Ferret wrote:
Gee Tikifish,

I got to say, I actually like Moosehead. Also, one of my faves is called Grasshopper (insects are kinda like an animal, right?) by Big Rock (a local brewery).
But I do have to agree that Wildcat sucks. But that more adheres to my "Labatts and Molsons beers are crap" rule. Oh yeah, and most American beer (I said most, not all)

:)

-Slacks

Slacks, we're gonna along just fine when I pay you a visit in the Big C! Old Skool, O.G. Big Rock drinker here...

:), emspace

Go on down to your local Rite Aid and pick up some of the finest brew ever know to man

Mongoose
This flavorfull brew comes in the "tall boy" can style, has mongoose facts(the animal not the beverage)printed right on the can, and comes with a very nice bright orange price sticker (usually .99)

It has to be good or all the homeless guys in the park wouldn't drink it, right!!

Just don't buy King Cobra and Mongoose at the same time, as they are mortal enemies. I can't and won't be held responsible for someone taking a sip of King Cobra and then a sip of Mongoose. If you do this and live please post your results, we can compare.

On 2003-11-21 18:53, tikifish wrote:
Yeah, moosehead is the least offensive of the bunch. I was trying to make a point. But you gootta try Creemore or Camreron's Cream Ale. Mind you, that's Southern ontario beer...

You might not have tasted it!

or....niagara pale ale...mmm

This seems true for American beers, but European brew is a different story.

Carlsberg makes a high-powerd ale called Elephant that is quite good, but expensive. Back in my wasted youth on the rare occasions we could afford it, we'd "pick up a herd" and "get stampeded".

There also used to be a beer called Giraffe that was excellent, but I haven't seen it in years. There was aplce in Cleveland called the Harbor Inn that had like 150 beers. I don't think I've seen Giraffe anywhere else.

Finally, there's an amazing beer called Celebrator that has a goat on the label, and every bottle has a little plstic goat tied to the bottle neck with red string. Also very expensive (about $14 for six here in Chicago), but superb.

My rule of beer is that if it says Newcastle Brown Ale its good...if not...well, you can guess.

Matt

Avoid beer with an ASS on it...

btw I have noticed much austrailian wine has crocodiles, snakes, lizards... usually it's bonzer! crikey!

This beer doesn't have have a picture of an animal on its label, but the name is pretty doggy:
Abita Turbo Dog

from Louisiana - yummy with robust foods (the beer is dark but not stouty)

[ Edited by: Johnny Dollar on 2003-11-26 08:57 ]

For good beers.....2 words...."Belgium beers"!

On 2003-11-21 17:05, johnnievelour wrote:
Mamals: bad, sankes: good

Yo, JohnnieV - has your spellcheck been drinkin'?? :)

Came upon this thread a little late and was about to espouse the virtues of Elephant and Giraffe, but I see that TikiBars has beaten me to it.

Just outta high school we used to drink this swill Mexican beer called 'Chihuahua' (or 'Doggies'). Avoid it! Actually avoid most Mexican beer if at all possible - it all tastes like piss (or, rather, what I imagine piss tastes like...) - why do you think you have to add lime to it??

For good beers.....2 words...."Belgium beers"!

Staffe Hendrik is not only the best Belgian beer, but likely the best in theworld.

I hate to admit it but the Mexican beers are what I prefer and no beer should be served with a lime.

I really enjoy the Dos Eq (for the fall and winter) and Tecate, Pacifico (for Spring and Summer).

I really question though if these beers are made in Mexico anymore as the labels are somewhat confusing.

What I can't stand is when local beers companies decide that their beer should be priced as the imports. When I was in Austin it was great to buy Shiner Bock at a domestic price and then they decided that it should be priced as an high end beer. Within a short time the price increased a zillion percent. I think the same thing is happening to Abita here in NO.

Nice fishy, i think ive tried that belgium beer, but cant remember, all those beer run around 8.5% & up in acl.

[ Edited by: Tiki Bird on 2003-11-26 10:51 ]

tiki410, i like a cold mexican beer as well...with a lime.

If it comes in a green bottle it's skunky! Examples: Heineken, Rolling Rock, Special Export, Mickey's Big Mouth, and those Canadian beers with animals on the label.

I'll have to disagree with the fellow who said to avoid beers in clear glass. There are some good ones: Newcastle and Samuel Smith's various beers. But I'm not a fan of Corona (which comes in clear glass) - I much prefer the Mexican beers Bohemia, Negra Modelo, and Dos XX.

OK, the excellent wine with the frogs on it is from THE BANJO COLLECTION from Yarroman. It's Australian. I'm having it right now. Mmmmm.

After thinking about it more, it seems the reason for the animal beer/wine dichotomy is thus: Most Australian wines have animals on the label, and most Australian wines are good; therefore wines with animals oare often good. Also note that the animals on these wines are never threatening or angry animals, they are usually exotic.

Most beers with animals want to convey some extreme masculine anger or prowess, therefore the animal beers are high alcohol or just low cost beers for men who feel their masculinity has been somehow taken away from them, wither by low income or status in life. Yes, I may get picked on by the boss at the factory, but when I come home, I am a GRIZZLY!!!! ARR!!!!

The recent trend of boutique beer brewers to name their beers after animals (warthog ale, grasshopper ale, etc) is just messing up my theory, so therefore I will ignore it, as all good researchers do.

However, this all seems far too academic once you break it down, so just remember this: Mongoose, Bad. Frogs, good.

Oh, and clear bottles DO skunk the beer. beer is affected by light and temperature even after it is bottled. Fresh Heineken is tasty... old Heineken is not. Sleeman often falls prey to this problem as it is in a clear bottle.

Keep your beer well away from sunlight and heat! Best to keep it in that dark damp stomach instead.

On 2003-11-26 19:56, tikifish wrote:
(snip)

Most beers with animals want to convey some extreme masculine anger or prowess, therefore the animal beers are high alcohol or just low cost beers for men who feel their masculinity has been somehow taken away from them, wither by low income or status in life. Yes, I may get picked on by the boss at the factory, but when I come home, I am a GRIZZLY!!!! ARR!!!!

(snip)

don't say beer say BULL!!! (crash!)