Man, I have got to get a job (or something)...

Could God (or insert your personal favorite diety here) make a Mai Tai so big even he couldn't drink it?

**** Non-Disclaimer Notice ****
This lame-ass bit of psuedo humor was not meant to endorse nor detract from any real or imagined religious iconery. Please note that it was only a humorous (and it probably even failed at that intent) bit of idle daydream. I mean obviously, if it was meant to endorse an unspecified religion, would I have insinuated that the G-Man drinks booze? And if it was meant to degrade an unspecified religion, would I have even mentioned a god or god-like being (or Patsy Cline)? Now, this is the holiday season, I mean, we have mentioned the holiday of Christmas on several posts lately, and to the best of my knowledge, that's a religious-based with Santa being born on Dec 25 and all. I seriously was NOT intent on breaking the rule regarding "no religion or politics" stuff, but it so blatantly was stoner humor that I thought it would be "fun" to post.

Please Note - this disclaimer valid in the continental US and parts of Alabama.

Thank you and good night.

(hey, what ya' wearin'?)

On 2004-12-14 21:16, Tiki_Bong wrote:
(hey, what ya' wearin'?)

A Computer Mouse

On 2004-12-14 21:16, Tiki_Bong wrote:

(hey, what ya' wearin'?)

An unspecified , yet generally festive hat, triangular in overall shape, made of a red material, trimmed at the top point of the triangle and along the base with an unspecified fur-esque fluffy white material.

Oh, and it's being worn at a jaunty angle.

You should get an "or something" instead of a job, they're much more fun.

Forget jobs and or somethings. Do what I do; Buy lottery tickets! All of my hard begged money goes toward lottery tickets! If you don't play, you won't win!

Oh and yes, God can make a MaiTai bigger than God can drink. God can do anything!!

Santa was born on Dec.25th? Wow, now it all makes sense.

On 2004-12-15 00:19, Hakalugi wrote:

Oh and yes, God can make a MaiTai bigger than God can drink. God can do anything!!

If God can do anything, then couldn't he drink it? Oh what a vicious cycle!

If I hear one more word out of Bong about
PATSEY CLINE
Well IIIII awetta
What?

On 2004-12-15 00:39, hiltiki wrote:
Santa was born on Dec.25th? Wow, now it all makes sense.

Excellent question!

The answer would start out as, "Yes."

But then the logistics would begin to get in His way.

Possible scenarios:

1. Since God is infinite, that would mean that only God exists, because anything that is not God would make God less than infinite.

If any part of God is made up of Mai Tai (which we know to be true, because Mai Tais seem to, in fact, exist), then he would contain an infinite amount of Mai Tai. I.E. infinity divided by any fraction remains infinity. So, at any given moment, God already contains an infinite amount of Mai Tai.

I think this situation is likey to hold true because, given the state of the world, it follows that God must contain an infinite amount of Mai Tai - it explains alot!

2. Conversely: If God is merely omniscient and omnipotent and there exists any part of the universe that is not God, then we run into Mai Tai troubles.

By creating the universe, God used up some space, making an infinitely large Mai Tai impossible.

The question then turns to which is bigger, God's capacity to hold Mai Tais, or the universe's capacity to make room for that giant Mai Tai.

We are stuck with an answer based on faith alone - which is greater, God's capacity to create or God's capacity to consume.

No definitive answer from me on this issue.

We would also have to have a situation where God has a mouth with which he could drink Mai Tais. More theological answers I can't provide.

3. Hmmmmm, anyway, how about if we assume Mai Tais exist only on earth. There is no proof of Mai Tai outside our small blue marble, after all.

Even if we gave God all the rum and other Mai Tai ingredients on the planet, it would still seem like Earth's total production capacity would be very small, on a God scale.

So, unless God wants to change the laws of matter and physics on the fly, there would be not Mai Tai too great for him.

To satisfy God, it would require amounts of rum so vast, that the rum bottle would have to be visible in the night sky!

Based on my keen observation of the night sky - there is no supply of rum great enough to satisfy God.

Given several scenarios, I would vote that God cannot make a Mai Tai so big that he cannot consume it.

:wink:

[ Edited by: Geeky Tiki on 2004-12-15 12:44 ]

Let's look at the evidence:

God made us in his own image. We like drink. Thus, God likes MORE drink! A Mai Tai as tall as the Sky? YOu bet your sweet ass!

Jesus turned water into [drink].

[Alcohol] is living proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy.
Benjamin Franklin

If God had intended us to drink [alcohol], He would have given us stomachs
David Daye

On an unrelated note:
Bob = God
God = Hope
God = Bob Hope

On 2004-12-15 07:09, finkdaddy wrote:

On 2004-12-15 00:19, Hakalugi wrote:

Oh and yes, God can make a MaiTai bigger than God can drink. God can do anything!!

If God can do anything, then couldn't he drink it?

Yes. He would then drink it. This is the well known Paradox of the Holy Mai Tai. A full explanation is incomprehensible in this dimension.

God drinks in mysterious ways.

On 2004-12-14 21:16, Tiki_Bong wrote:
G-Man

Surely G-Person in this age of non-gender-specific spiritual, ethereal, all-powerful big-guys? (whoops.......)

Trader Woody

Hakalugi makes another great point.

In an ever expanding universe, God could make a Mai Tai that is so large he could not drink it, but then, thanks to expansion, would then be able to drink it at some point fater making it, which would lead to further expansion and an ever increasing Mai Tai capacity.

Someone call Stephen Hawking, I think we've solved something!

Hey, you know how when you're dreaming it seems real and you're awake. What if we're dreaming right now, and all this isn't real.

On 2004-12-15 17:51, Tiki_Bong wrote:
Hey, you know how when you're dreaming it seems real and you're awake. What if we're dreaming right now, and all this isn't real.

you know you could drive yourself crazy with those kind of thoughts, which tend to get more and more extreme the more you spend time at home by yourself. you're right - you do need to get a job - or get out of the house more often - I used to get crazy thoughts like that when I was home alone and unemployed for too long...

and then, you start to hear the voices...

Geez, if it ain't real, I'd kick myself for not making it better!

That's my reality check for the old Cartesian riddle - How do I know my life exists outside my brain - 'cause life would be better if it were just up to my brain.

Ben Franklin said

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

On 2004-12-14 21:16, Tiki_Bong wrote:
Could God (or insert your personal favorite diety here) make a Mai Tai so big even he couldn't drink it?

No. That right is reserved to Pablus. Ahhhh ... but then I've suspected for awhile that he's Bacchus incarnate.

Cheers!

BTW ... I have a job. Don't think you REALLY want one of those. Safer to sit home and drink.

Merry ... yeah!
(yes, the rum level in the Gluhwein has hit a new high).

Day after Christmas - Big Bowl of Aku Aku Lapus - 10 lbs of prime rib in the oven - Hmmm... maybe I am Bacchus.

Or Jim Baccus.
Or maybe Burt Bacharach.

Pa-plus,

When you getting you bee-hind out this way so we can, ah,, you know...

On 2004-12-24 01:10, suicide_sam wrote:
Ben Franklin said

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

I heard somewhere that he wrote books on how to make farts smell better by eating different types of food combined together.

<I heard somewhere that he wrote books on how to make farts smell better by eating different types of food combined together.

That was Ben Affleck.

Bong-tacular - I'm 5 days from knowing if it will be January 13-20 or Jan. 25-Feb. 3 - I needs some moneys so I'm banging here at work. I really need the earlier trip though so I'll probably make that work.

On 2004-12-26 21:28, RevBambooBen wrote:

I heard somewhere that he wrote books on how to make farts smell better by eating different types of food combined together.

"Fart Proudly" by Benjamin Franklin:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/089804801X/qid=1104171462/sr=1-2/ref=sr_1_2/002-2458681-4856840?v=glance&s=books