regarding Trolls

it takes a village to starve a troll...

[ Edited by: Johnny Dollar on 2005-03-15 12:10 ]

The Usenet troll (Trollicus useneticus bloodyirritatingus) is an evil mental parasite found in all areas of Usenet, where it preys upon the brains of lusers (Homo stultissimus). Most clueful people avoid these creatures, since Usenet trolls know no fear and attack unceasingly, demanding responses from their prey.

Usenet trolls are immune to flames (Flammae useneticae), which is unfortunate, as most will try to attack them with these first. In fact, when a troll is attacked flames, it will actually be able to use these flames to create more, which it will hurl back at its unfortunate attacker. Long-lived trolls may be able to render an entire newsgroup uninhabitable with all the flames it creates.

The only form of attack a troll has is its ability to incite responses, which it needs to feed from; hence, the best way to defend yourself against a troll is simply to ignore it. Deprived of nourishment, it will soon starve.

Ancient legends (found in The Book of 1036) hint that a Usenet troll may be vulnerable to the Spell of Cancellation, but this powerful incantation would have to be applied swiftly after the troll's birth; once engaged in battle, few survive unscathed.

By Alistair Young
http://www.jestsandjokes.com/show.php3?joke=185

Evil Troll!

Thanks for the refresher, JD. I mostly frequent technical or other well-moderated forums and therefor have had very limited exposure to trolls over the past few years. I have not seen a real honest-to-goodness troll around these parts in ages, if ever. Well, until recently.

They are very much like those kids in junior high school who attempted to hide their deep insecurities by being a constant disruption in class. They knew, deep down, that they had nothing more to give and this was their one shot at a captive audience, unless they take hostages later in life. While they can piss you off to no end, they should ultimately be granted a great deal of sympathy for their ignominious plight, and we should send a thankful prayer that we are not in their shoes.

The only form of attack a troll has is its ability to incite responses, which it needs to feed from; hence, the best way to defend yourself against a troll is simply to ignore it. Deprived of nourishment, it will soon starve.

Amen to that!

TROLLS!!! AGHHHHHHH!!!

I realize this is an entirely different troll than the one described above but I thought I'd share this troll story.

My stepfather was from Holland. When the "Gnomes" book came out it caused this obsession to start collecting gnomes and trolls. There is one company in Norway called NyForm which makes 2 or 3 ft versions of these polysterene, rubber coated nightmares. They are so real and so creepy, they gave us nightmares as kids. They have glass eyes and sheeps wool hair...

This is just one example of these trolls. this on stands almost 3 feet tall. He had seriously over 14 of these hanging around the house. My stepdad died a few years ago, my Mom almost instantly boxed them up and put them into the garage. When my stepdad bought them he never took off the price tags or hang tags. He also kept all of the paperwork that came with each troll that explained his legend or lore. I figured since the lord of the Rings was a hot item that maybe she should put them on eBay since none of the kids wanted them and they were just gathering dust in the garage. Plus we needed to raise $200 to fix a skylight in the house and I thought all 14 trolls could bring her the money she needed. This is the day I discovered troll fever. People from all over the world stared bidding on these in a fever pitch. By the end of the week we had sold all of the trolls at the final tally of $3800.00!! I kid you not! My friends and I watched the auctions daily as if it were a game show. Needless to say she not only fixed the skylight but re-landscaped the backyard as well. If you guys think paying $400 for a tiki mug is extreme...

JD, thanks for the insight on the usenet trolls. TC is the first and only forum I have ever hung around so I have not seen many of these types. I apologize for inciting his evil upon us. Your description certainly fits a recent poster here to a T and I think we are fortunate thet he is no longer in our midst.
Stuff-O-Rama, I thin we could use more of your type trolls though. Great story.