Need Caption for this photo

I need a caption for this photo:

I am offering a Mystery Bowl at Hukliau 2006 to the person(s) that offer the best caption for this shot of Helztiki from the April Tiki Jam at Loki's place. Andy and I are the judges, make us laugh the hardest and you win.

My name is Ben Dover & I carve tikis--do you like me?

Thers a car coming!!!CAR!!! Git that dam log out of the road!!!..Ok Its gone...GAME ON!!!!

Got wood?

Helztiki is caught 'sporting wood' while hoarding future tikis in his Florida neighborhood.

[ Edited by: Tikiwahine 2006-06-12 14:41 ]

The Hukilau Hurricane provides abundant wood for Helz's next project: 'Tiki Orgy on my front lawn'

[ Edited by: tiki5-0 2006-06-12 16:14 ]

The "Twin Peaks" Log Lady has gone TOO FAR!!

the log delivery service got off to a slow start...

the old "superglue on a log in the street trick" never fails

It soon worked out that carving tiki's with your teeth was going to take a while

Viagra Overload

Some people love wood, some people just take it too far...

Dang it I dropped my log. I must have a hole in my pocket.

WoooHooooo! Tiki Plumber dropped his log :)

I wish all my dates were this easy...

...after Helz moved this big ass stump, he stood up and looked just like that palm to the right.

"Why don't we do it in the road? No one will be watching us Why don't we do it in the rooaad"

Damn, this tiki was made by the laziest carver I've ever seen.

It's Big, it's heavy, it's wood!

Chongolio

does he know Trojans don't protect from splinters?

"Can someone help me carve a wooden toilet really fast?"

(it's the rum making the talking)

[ Edited by: marika 2006-06-13 19:35 ]

Ok, these are hilarious. And interestingly enough, I also find myself in need of a caption on a photo. This one was taken about 5 minutes before the one Chip and Andy posted, as I went to wrestle with a couple hundred pounds of oak...

That's me, HelzTiki, on the left and on the right is Mr. Chip of Chip and Andy fame. Best one is good for a Rum Barrel, or Shrunken Skull...your choice (I'll get you the mug too).

[ Edited by: HelzTiki 2006-06-13 20:36 ]

HelzTiki: "I've been doing that buns of steel workout, is it working?"

I once carved a tiki THIS big.....

C'mon do the robot dance with me helztiki!

"Is that your hand? On my ass"

For:

Well...MY wood goes up to "11". Wanna see?

For:

"Where's your other hand?"
"Between two pillows"
"Those arn't pillows!"

1st one in the road
"This isn't new york city why should I have to pick up these logs on the street?" (Thats a dog poo reference and NYC law)

2nd shot
"Well smack my ass and call me crazy! - I'm gonna have your baby!"

see you at that Hukilau!

1st: Damn that Clifford the big red dog !!

This can apply to both.

Size matters... width not length.

Pic 1:
1st Annual Log Eating Contest

Pic 2:
"Am I airborne yet Helz? (hic) No really (hic), watch..."

"I got it, I got it, I got it...I don't got it"

(stolen from High Anxiety)

Any more?

A friend looking over the shoulder (now that is really lurking....) offered the following:

I went to Hukilau and all I got was this stupid log.......

1st photo:

In constant pursuit of his quarry, the great tiki hunter stops momentarily to check the freshness of some rather large, but very recent droppings.

[ Edited by: Eleio the fleet 2006-08-09 00:21 ]

1st photo: "I really should get some Depends so my logs stop dropping onto the road."

[ Edited by: TikiTikiTavi 2006-08-09 20:32 ]

pic #1

helz tries for "worlds largest garnish"

Here are the one so far that have induced any kind of drink expulsion through body orifices......

On 2006-06-13 00:04, tikiracer wrote:
the log delivery service got off to a slow start...

On 2006-06-13 11:22, Chongolio wrote:
It's Big, it's heavy, it's wood!

On 2006-06-14 15:38, Polynesiac wrote:
Well...MY wood goes up to "11". Wanna see?

On 2006-08-09 00:15, Eleio the fleet wrote:
In constant pursuit of his quarry, the great tiki hunter stops momentarily to check the freshness of some rather large, but very recent droppings.

On 2006-08-09 20:54, Tikiwahine wrote:
helz tries for "worlds largest garnish"

I love Chongolio's quote simply because I really loved Ren & Stimpy when it came out.

Polynesiac delivered a Mai-Tai through both nostrils moment for managing to get a Spinal Tap reference directly tied into Tiki carving.

Eleio the fleet's caption is almost perfect for the moment, were you at the Tiki Jam when that picture was taken?

Anybody else? Show us what you got!

" Damed plastic surgeons ! Ever since that tummy tuck , I've had to wear sneakers on my hands !"

#2...... "Hey , I can hotwire this truck and we can look for logs !"

were you at the Tiki Jam when that picture was taken?

Only there in spirit, sadly.

Mommy - What is the tiny man doing with that cigarette butt?

Has to be sung "Roll, roll, roll your log, gently down the street......"

Hey who won? I was gonna enter but I wasn't going to Hukilau... So the winner is?

Please don't keep us in suspense...

Tikisgrl

(Bump)