new lease on life

My girlfriend recently gave me an ultimatum: Quit drinking or she’d leave me. It was a difficult decision, but I reluctantly decided to make a symbolic gesture that our love was true and gathered up all the rum in the house.

I first opened the bottle of Myers, poured myself a drink to toast my future sobriety, drank the rum and poured the rest down the sink. Then I opened the Cruzan, poured and drank a glass, then emptied the rest of the bottle into the sink. Next I opened the Bacardee and drank the bottle, and poured the glass down the sink. Thn I opend the bottle of Appletoon took a shot, drunk a sink and purred the bottle down the hatch.

Nexxxt me opened up thuh bootle of Hava Clubb gargled a shoot and placed thah bittle on my head. Hee hee hee. I drained the sink down th buttle and parred miself anudder drink. After gett in the sink, an testin the Run Rico and Floor de Canna, I counted the bottles and the sinks, and poored the toast down that ol drain. Finelly came the Prusserers an the Gooslings, whitch I scolded an drinked an toosted an pored myself a sink. Leenin up agenst theee fluur, I dranked a shoot of rim, cownted the ceeling tiles and powered myself down the sink.

Den I git on tha compooter an sined upp on eharmony.

HAHA! :drink: :) Love it. I'm alomost theer. hickup

your twin was at my house last weekend.

Do you have a new girl friend yet? :P

Some doctor on the telly this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see the things I'd started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonay, a bodle of Bwandy, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a bo! x a chocolets. Yu haf no idr who gud I fel. Pelase sen dis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov inr pece.

Comedy Gold!

Hahah!

Amazing. Hope eharmony works out for you!

Jimzip :D

classic

Jeff(bigtikidude)