a Laughs a Laugh for all that

A Catholic Priest, an Indian Doctor, a rich Chinse Businessman and an Aussie were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.

The Aussie fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!

The Indian Doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such poor golf!"

The Chinese Businessman called out "Move it, time is money"

The Catholic Priest said, "Here comes George the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."

"Hello, George!", said the Catholic Priest, "What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

George the greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment.

The Catholic Priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The Indian Doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The Chinese Businessman replied, "I think I'll donate $50,000 to the fire-fighters in honour of these brave souls"

The Aussie said, "Why can't they f----ing play at night?"

har har har. I'm sending that to my golfing in-laws!

Four Catholic ladies were having coffee.
The first woman tells her friends
"My son is a priest. When he walks into a room,
everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second chirps,
"My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room,
people call him 'Your Grace'."

This third says,
"My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a
room, people say 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth woman just sits ,
sipping her coffee in silence .
The three women give her this subtle
"Well...?"

So she replies,
"My son is a gorgeous, 6'2" hard-bodied stripper.
When he walks into a room, people say,
"Oh, my God...'."

shootz, I thought there would be a gynecologist in there somewhere.

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs,
but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I' m very
grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank
check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

'So I just switched the heads.'

A woman visited her plastic surgeon who told her about a brand new procedure called 'The Knob,' where a small knob is placed at the top of the woman's head and could be turned to tighten up her skin and produce the effect of a brand new face-lift. Of course, the woman wanted 'The Knob'.

Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the effects
were wonderful, the woman remained young looking and vibrant.

After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems.
"All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn
the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them."

The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your breasts."

She then said, "Well, I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee then!"