Tiki Central / California Events / "It's not that we are leaving..we just ain't staying!!"
Post #109842 by tiki mick 1 on Mon, Aug 23, 2004 4:57 PM
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tiki mick 1
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Mon, Aug 23, 2004 4:57 PM
ah right!! If he won't, I will!! The story went like this: The SM's got hired to play a birthday party/luau... They called us the day before and had a special request...they wanted us to come set up at 11:00 in the morning, and then leave and come back at 7 that evening to play... well, we don't usually work like that, but figured, what the hell..the customer is always right, right? When we got there, this strange woman with purple hair and way too much make-up came out of the house and approached our Smokin menehune mystery machine...she had a nervous laugh, and an evil smirk in her eyes.... We knew something wierd was up when she showed us some portable showers she had set up on her front lawn (like the ones we had in the army for decontamination).She asked us to strip and her husband came out with some strange orange powder and started dousing us....we asked why, of course...and she explained that "all of our 'help' must go thru the delousing program prior to entry in our house" Being the happy-ass kind of people we are, we reluctantly aggreed, and complied..even Bong! But that was just the beginning!! The lady had three extrememly vicious pitbulls, and they had "run of the house"...in other words, they were loose, and would be loose during the entire party!! As soon as we started loading our stuff in the backyard, one of the dogs went for spike (lucky designs). The dog had him by the balls, and he was screaming like a cat caught in a briar patch!! Bong tried to wack the dog with his vintage fender triple neck steel guitar case, but the dog kept on coming! Man, he had them jaws locked right around those balls...and that's when Shirley stepped in...she grabbed her vintage martin uke and smacked that sucker right in the head..problem is, there was so much commotion that she missed and actually knocked spike out by accident..oh well, at least that horrible screaming and gurgling stopped! At this point, things started to calm down, but just for a second.... Once we started to actually play, things went even further downhill..... We started off with "little grass shack" and within minutes, the owner turned the freakin sprinklers on!! We complained, and the woman told us..."you play the song list we sent you or you pack up and leave NOW"!! We scrambled around our music and notes, and found the song list...nothing even remotely hawaiian on it!! there was: Man eater-Hall and oates that's just some of them..there were more, even worse!! By this time, we made a judgement call to abandon ship.... Bong looks at us and asked "what did the goose say to the geese? let's get the FLOCK outta here!!" So we headed, back to the fort...sweatin' all the girls, in the biker shorts!!! As we were heading out the door, the owner and her idiot husband came running out and started screaming "FREAK FREAK FREAK"!! at me!! they said "we can't believe your just LEAVING!!!" Bong looks at her and evenly says; " It's not that we are leaving, we just ain't STAYING"!!!! The lady looks at him, points a finger and says "And YOUR'E a Freak TOO!" And all of this REALLY happened!!!!! The End!! |