Post #128202 by ErichTroudt on Wed, Dec 1, 2004 1:08 AM

Okay as you may have read in my previous posts, I'm not a big X-mas guy. So here are a few things I like to do that brings me Holiday Joy.

When exiting the mall, walk slowly thru the parking lot. Wait for that car to start following you, thinking they are going to get your spot. Walk right up to any car in a space up front. I swear you'll see their mouths salivate. But then, take your time, fumble with your keys, pretend to talk on your phone, anything to stall, then in an overdramitical fashion exclaim "This isn't my car" and walk away. Their expression will be priceless and more than likely won't be in true holiday cheer.

Spanish X-mas cards. I like to send all my friends and family Spanish holiday cards. Then count how many hours and days it takes for one of them to call you about "Why". Also, if you visit their house, you can make a bet whether or not they displayed it with the rest of their cards.

A poem in the Holiday card....well, sort of. Take some Barry White, Lou Rawls, Al Green or Teddy Pendagrass lyrics about love and/or happiness and make it a poem you put in your holiday cards. See how long it takes before anyone realizes it. (last year it was Lou Rawls, "you'll never find a love like mine")

Relatives house that has "the front room". You know that real fancy furniture, with white carpet. The "we only sit in here on Holidays" and normally keep plastic seat covers room. Nothing like a gag store plastic fake barf, melted ice cream, or fake dog doo to watch the panic set in.

Get into every picture. One year I snuck into the background of every picture on x-mas eve. far enough in the background not to draw attention, but close enough. Noticeable enough that several weeks after X-mas I got a call from my Grandmother asking why I choose to be making a silly face in all the pictures.

Okay, saving the best for last. This will take some practice and acting, but I swear its so worth it. Take a fresh roll of film. Pull the tab so the film comes all the way out. then roll the film up around the outside of the roll. place it in your pocket.
Someone then asks you to take a picture with their camera. You say sure and place your hand in your pocket.Remove the film roll and casually hold the film in your hand. Get everyone to pose, "say cheese"..then say "Hey, whats this button do?" At that point, hold onto the tab, and release the roll. The film will drop, unroll, and be swinging from the back of their camera, appearing like it popped out of their camera thus ruining the entire roll. Just as panic, mayhem and the cussing starts, take the picture. the looks on their faces will be great. (this also works for Disneyland and other place were strangers ask you to take photos)

I hope some of you try these things, while the people around you may not think its funny, you'll be having a good time.