Post #132681 by tikibars on Fri, Dec 24, 2004 3:00 PM

This is what non-Christians living in predominantly Christian nations do on Christmas Eve:

We run around the house like Vyvian on the Young Ones, smashing things up and yelling: "Bored! Bored! Bored! Bored!".

Then we plot to move to some country in the far East where they never heard of Christmas.

Then we call our Jewish friends up and see what they're doing.

They are doing nothing, also.

Then we run around the house like Vyvian on the Young Ones, smashing things up and yelling: "Bored! Bored! Bored! Bored!".

Then we call up our Hindu friends, our atheist friends who don't have families (our athiest friends who DO have families are over at their families' house biting their tongues and getting Christmas presents), our Islamic friends, and our Wiccan friends who don't have families (our Wiccan friends who DO have families are over at their families' house biting their tongues and getting Christmas presents), to see what they're doing.

They are doing nothing, also.

Then we look on the internet to see if there are any bars or restaurants open.

But we don't go to them if we find them, because then we'll seem like losers sitting alone in a cafe on Christmas eve.

Then we run around the house like Vyvian on the Young Ones, smashing things up and yelling: "Bored! Bored! Bored! Bored!".

Then we post silly messages on the internet.

Then we watch DVDs and go to bed early, and wait for life to resume it's relative state of normality as soon as possible.

To my Christian pals:

Merry Christmas, or as we say in Hawaiian: Mele Kalikimaka.

To the rest of you:

Run around the house like Vyvian on the Young Ones, smashing things up and yelling: "Bored! Bored! Bored! Bored!".

It'll help.

-JT