Hearings on Steroid use....so what. - Bilge

I ikitnrev Tiki Socialite D.C. / Virginia Joined: Jul 27, 2002 Posts: 1325	I ikitnrev Posted posted on Sat, Mar 19, 2005 11:05 AM What this country needs is a good comedy movie about steroids. Something like Cheech and Chong's 'Up In Smoke' but instead of stoners and marijuana, it will instead portray a pair of dimwitted, fresh-out-of-high-school minor leaguers and their attempts to become stars via steroids. The plotline/characters could include: a crazy trip across the Mexican border, to find those doctors willing to sell them back-alley steroids strong enough to revive a comatose donkey. bathroom stall injection scenes, where they are mistaken as being gay silly drug side effects, like mistiming a catch so the baseball instead bounces off one's head and over the fence for a homerun an evil hyponotist sports-announcer, who secretly induces the crowds to empty their pockets and cheer for star players, and to outfit themselves with special cult robes/hats/uniforms. the just-as-stupid-as-the-players sports reporters, who ignore the obvious signs of steroid use in front of them ... perhaps an ongoing joke on how the entire team has been diagnosed with diabetes, and must have 'insulin injections' every day --- yet they still overcome these disadvantages and find the heart to hit lots of homeruns. the moralistic anti-steroid team owner with political ambitions, who has his own secret problems with booze and cocaine cheerleader girlfriends who mistakedly ingest steroids, and end up looking like like East German Olympic shot-putters. (possible sex scenes with marionettes) Have Clint Eastwood as the old, grizzled, hardassed manager, who suddenly has a team strong enough to reach the World Series, which may be his last chance to redeem himself for his idiot managing decision in a World Series 20 years ago. Make sure he regularly says things like 'I don't train druggies' Have an ending scene where the players, are now 80 years old, still with rippling muscles, but now suffering from memory loss, loss of eyesight, hearing, bladder control, etc. 90% of the time they live in a nursing home, the other 10% they are employed as guest TV color commentators. Vern

What this country needs is a good comedy movie about steroids. Something like Cheech and Chong's 'Up In Smoke' but instead of stoners and marijuana, it will instead portray a pair of dimwitted, fresh-out-of-high-school minor leaguers and their attempts to become stars via steroids.

The plotline/characters could include:

a crazy trip across the Mexican border, to find those doctors willing to sell them back-alley steroids strong enough to revive a comatose donkey.
bathroom stall injection scenes, where they are mistaken as being gay
silly drug side effects, like mistiming a catch so the baseball instead bounces off one's head and over the fence for a homerun
an evil hyponotist sports-announcer, who secretly induces the crowds to empty their pockets and cheer for star players, and to outfit themselves with special cult robes/hats/uniforms.
the just-as-stupid-as-the-players sports reporters, who ignore the obvious signs of steroid use in front of them ... perhaps an ongoing joke on how the entire team has been diagnosed with diabetes, and must have 'insulin injections' every day --- yet they still overcome these disadvantages and find the heart to hit lots of homeruns.
the moralistic anti-steroid team owner with political ambitions, who has his own secret problems with booze and cocaine
cheerleader girlfriends who mistakedly ingest steroids, and end up looking like like East German Olympic shot-putters. (possible sex scenes with marionettes)
Have Clint Eastwood as the old, grizzled, hardassed manager, who suddenly has a team strong enough to reach the World Series, which may be his last chance to redeem himself for his idiot managing decision in a World Series 20 years ago. Make sure he regularly says things like 'I don't train druggies'
Have an ending scene where the players, are now 80 years old, still with rippling muscles, but now suffering from memory loss, loss of eyesight, hearing, bladder control, etc. 90% of the time they live in a nursing home, the other 10% they are employed as guest TV color commentators.

Vern

Post #147901 by ikitnrev on Sat, Mar 19, 2005 11:05 AM