Post #172300 by MachTiki on Fri, Jul 15, 2005 3:15 PM

"If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something."

"It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man."

"Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games."

"If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink."

"I bet when the neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick, heavy brows." Then they would all get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat the snowman."

"Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out."

"The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face."

[ Edited by: MachTiki 2005-07-16 06:46 ]