Post #22578 by boutiki on Mon, Feb 10, 2003 6:32 PM

Why can't anyone get it right?

We were in New York in January for the Outsider Art Fair and were very excited to check out "Waikiki Wally's." We had heard the buzz and had seen the articles trumpeting their opening with Don Ho and other celebrities. Perhaps our expectations were too high—maybe not. I have always maintained that others are too harsh in their judgement of tiki bars and restaurants. I've always said "If they have one stick of bamboo, one tiki and a decent Mai-Tai—I'm there!" Maybe that's still true for vintage or first- generation tiki bars, the ones that washed ashore on the first wave of tiki. That may not be true for these new places.

Waikiki Wally's certainly seemed promising. Their slick color ad in the city guide magazine looked great! As does much of their visual identity. That's due in most part to photographer/designer Richie Fahey. His hula girl and wasted sailor pictures and tiki mug shots that appear on the menu are fantastic! They have a terrific mood and capture the look and feel of some old South Seas watering hole perfectly. Unfortunately I can't say the same for the restaurant. Rather than a dark, moody tiki cave they opted for a light airy "beach" feel. The ceiling was painted sky blue and the main wall is painted with a beach scene mural. This might not be too bad except that the mural is not done very well. The figures that populate the beach have been lifted from other sources (primarily from menu imagery found in "The Book of Tiki"), like the girl from the Zombie Village menu and the Kahiki honey. Problem is, they are not worked into the scene very convincingly.

There are a few tikis: two moai outside the front door (with some weird logo on them) and a Crazy Al carving inside the front door, though when we arrived he was facing the wall and was used primarily to heap postcards, flyers, and other literature on. There are a couple of tiki poles and a few generic masks behind the bar, and other than the wall hangings in the private dining room (we were not allowed in to get a good look) and the Moai built into the stone waterfall (pretty cool!) that was about it. There were lots of fake flowers (some on the ceiling spelling out ALOHA and whatnot) and thatch-covered walls.

Then we ordered drinks. At $8, I guess I expect a halfway decent Mai-Tai, but I shouldn't have. It was too sugary and had too much pineapple juice (?!) and if there was any rum in there, I'd be shocked. It was served in a Tiki Farm tiki mug, however if you didn't use the straw, you would cut your lips to shreads on the huge chips and cracks. Interestingly, the best drink we were served was of the "virgin" variety. The food was so bad I don't want to even begin to try and describe it. Let's just say that my chicken was the best of what we ordered and only because it was edible, if measly and overpriced. One of us had fish that smelled like the week-old cod that they serve for school lunches, while a couple others were risking their life with the bouillabaisse—they were picking out all the bones as they ate. All of this was served by the staff who wore expressions that said, "I can't believe I have to work here and wear this Hawaiian shirt, please someone kill me."

The coolest thing I found was the bar itself. While the face is solid bamboo, the top where you would put your drink is clear glass and displays tiny dioramas inside. Little beach scenes in 3-D, and even a rendering of the painting featured in "The Book of Tiki" of a maiden making an offering to a fiery tiki.

The worst thing, the thing which began as a mild annoyance and grew throughout the meal to a teeth-grinding, mind-numbing pain was the music. For all the lip service paid to Hawaii and tiki (the decor, the menu, the NAME of the friggin' place!!!) you would think they would play Hawaiian and Exotica music. Not so! We were treated to an endless parade of your favorite Cuban, Caribbean, and Salsa music! Ordinarily I would enjoy that kind of stuff, especially the old Cuban tunes, I love Perez Prado, Benny More, and even ol' Tito Puente. But not in my Tiki bar! I got to where if I heard another steel drum I was going to loose my mind. Did they expect me to get up and dance? I don't know, but the actual result of the music was to drive us out the door in search of a proper cocktail.

I would encourage folks to check out ANY tiki place rather than rely on another person's opinion or experience (it could have been an "off" night). Maybe go in and have a drink, check out the decor, and if you're feeling adventurous sit and have a meal. However that said, I can't say I will be visiting Waikiki Wally's the next time I'm in the Big Apple, even if to stare at their parrots trapped in the front window.

You can check out a few photos here: http://www.pegboardchicago.com/wally.html

Now, I'd like to try a novel approach to reviewing a tiki place. I will do it without going there. I'm going against my long-held opinion that one should actually experience a place for themselves before they cast judgement and that one should have an open mind when you go to a new place.

I have not been to Chicago's latest offering "Rock-A-Tiki" for a few reasons, and I will not go for a few reasons more. First, the very thing that drew me to Waikiki Wally's in New York repels me from Rock-A-Tiki. The visual identity they have created is so unattractive that it makes me NOT want to go there. The illustrations, done in a bad 1980's geometric "new wave" style of tikis "rockin'" with their electric guitars in front of Marshal stacks actually scares me away from the place. My understanding is that the reality is not that far off. Loud rock and roll music apparently is the soundtrack of choice. Just like the Caribbean sounds which confused and offended me at Waikiki Wally's, AC/DC is not what I want to hear in a tiki bar. I'm there to relax, to escape. Not to scream in someone's ear 'till I'm hoarse. I can try to yell over the music at a dozen hipster bars in the same nouveau hipster/yuppie neighborhood where Rock-A-Tiki has sprung up.

Rock-A-Tiki's advertising promotes drink specials most nights. Thursday night you can apparently get a Mai Tai for half price... that's half of the regular price of $10. The ad says, "Sure Trader Vic's might have $4 Mai Tais... Just consider the extra $1 an investment in atmosphere." Now, before I go off on the very notion of a $10 Mai-Tai in Wicker Park, let me say that you are not going to score points with me by bashing Trader Vic's. I mean, that is blasphemy as far as I'm concerned. If it hadn't been for Trader Vic's, Rock-A-Tiki would not exist at all. And regardless of the fact that Trader Vic's has been "tikiing" up the place recently, I can't imagine a place with much better atmosphere than old Vic's, not to mention a better tropical drink. The advertisement also boasts of a Karaoke night on Sunday as well as "The Fruit Market Tuesdays" where you can "get girlie-drink-drunk...on your choice of Banana, Pineapple, or Strawberry Daiquiris." Are they trying to entice me or to make me flee?

They brag about their tiki "ambiance," however what I have heard from those who have braved entering, the decor is of the African/Jungle variety with a few pieces they ordered from Oceanic Arts thrown in. Apparently the mural motif is popular with these new places, as I understand they have a jungle mural with tigers and lions in the foliage. There is supposed to be plenty of thatch and bamboo and some rock wall stuff going on. However, as they have a jukebox that is allegedly well stocked with all your favorite rock and metal tunes, I'm too afraid of what some quarter-wielding patron might request to brave going in.

I suppose I should suggest that you check out the place and make your own assessment, but I don't want to be held responsible for anyone patronising a theme/chain wannabe "tiki" bar. If the "keg-swilling frat boys" overtake a tiki bar as Tikibars James predicts, I think it would be Rock-A-Tiki long before Hala Kahiki. If the place lasts that long... The neighborhood is known for its high turnover of trend-du-jour bars and restaurants.

So that's my 2 cents. Take it for what it's worth.