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Celebrating classic and modern Polynesian Pop

Tiki Central / Tiki Music / The Buffet Rant and what it means.

Post #227302 by Kanekila on Tue, Apr 18, 2006 12:56 PM

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I have tried to give Jimmy Buffett's stuff a chance. But fer eg; whenever I hear that female chorus join in;
Cheeseburger in paradise (Pair uh DIIIICE!)
aaauuugh! So damn... well... cheezy!
sounds like a cheap pop tune. just too simple.
sounds like some theme for a small burger joint chain.
and that Southern fried accent. I'd like to throw that on the grill and forget it for a few weeks.
I mean, what does he do; watch Dukes of Hazzard on TV while he's writing these songs?
"Awn thuh thereyushowuld-uv-udveyunchoor"
"Dayown thayut Spayuneeyish haaahwayuh!"
aaarrrrrgggghhhhxxxxzzz!

and his lyrics are overly simplistic and cute, (sometimes bordering on the infantile) rhyming anything just for the sake of rhyming often. "zucchini fettuchini".
and his blatant rip of of:
"The Weather Is Here, Wish You Were Beautiful"
i mean c'mon. This ain't a song title, it's an old joke.

His "Changes in attitude" is a rip off of the old "Sonora's Death Row." listen to Leo Kottke's rendition.

How bout this:
"I like mine with lettuce and tomato
Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer
Well good God almighty which way do I steer, for my..."
I could NEVER, no matter how drunk i got, imagine myself singing that pap.
that's not poetic or evocative or inspiring.
That is a construction worker's conversation; reciting his shopping list and urges of the moment.

A web site (http://tinyurl.com/zcupd) that tries to understand the attraction of Buffet and his cult generously explains: "Jimmy Buffet's music can be best described as adult nursery rhymes celebrating drunkenness, laziness and promiscuity" "It can aptly be categorized as yuppie muzak. The ubiquitous xylophone and maracas create a nauseating faux island music experience" "This clown and his band are nothing more than a wedding/bar band that got lucky and found a nitch of idiots with more money that taste. The fans often refer to themselves as Parrot Heads who adorn themselves in silly straw hats, fake Hawaiian shirts, tight Khaki shorts, sandals and those sun glasses with the strings attached."

I listened to pirate at forty just now.
sounds formulaic. that b/g voices; done a thousand times before. It's a generic template for a pop song.

and his appropriation of carribean, marimba and mexican musical elements and motifs to flavor his songs that damned near sound all the same, makes ya realize; OK, he originally composed ditties for Disney and had the flash: "Hey! I could create a cult following darn near what the grateful dead had". (or rather: "Dern neyar whaut thuh guh-rate fuwol deyad heyud".
And he did.
wow.
I give him an "E" for effort. and marketing.
But no more of my time.
OK, he makes thousands of people happy. Especially when he's in concert and ya have these swarms of yuppies in their tommy bahama fake tropical wear all singing and swaying in unison. More power to him and his cult. More CD's for all them, too. Cuz i just don't buy it.

Oh. and his margaritaville tequila features some of the most pretentious copy ever written on a label on a bottle of any kind since adam and eve.
Just a taste, so yer cranium doesn't implode:
"Where is margaritaville? It's in the tropics between the port of indescision and southwest of disorder."
jesus!
His tourist traps; "Margaritaville" are an assault to the senses.
read one review here:
http://tinyurl.com/za6gg

("hey. Why doesn't anyone wanna leave Margaritaville? Cuz ya haveta go through Hangovertown to do it.")

His forgettable, snore inducing sllloooowww throwaway songs shanghai your brain and force it to board the boredom boat and float to somnambulistic oblivion. The only recourse is to run screaming to any other brand of tequila but his, to wash away the K-mart level musical experience.

Other than that, I like him.

C'mon, Lanikai. Stop holding back -- tell us how you REALLY FEEL!

:)