Post #232736 by Rum Demon on Thu, May 18, 2006 4:07 PM

Aloha TC Ohana!

So I've been absent from the forums for at least a month, though it feels much longer to me. Long story short I've been working hard in three different states and only now have returned to Portland.

But who cares about that. Playboy Mansion!!! Yeah, it was random but through my job down in LA I was invited to party with Hef and the girls at THE Playboy Mansion. I saw the girls, well, Kendra and Holly, but didn't see the man himself. He's like 80 and it was a monday night. Poor guy. I'd hate to have several hundred jackasses getting drunk and peeing in my pool every damn night.

Look! The first of many terrible pictures I took of the mansion!!

First off, it was pretty amazing. NO, we didn't get to go into the house proper, but yes, we did pretty much have the run of the grounds. The bulk of the party took place in a huge tent on the lawn. That's where the red carpet was, so Corey Feldman (ahem), and any other "celebrities" could get hounded by the adoring press.

LOOK!! It's Melissa Joan Hart!! TV's Sabrina The Teen-Aged Witch!! Really, the little... blond... dot there....

Later I managed to jump onto the carpet only to be attacked by my adoring fans!!!

Save your money, girls. Invest wisely, or marry rich...

Moving on, I also met THE Wonder Woman!!!

And DIDN'T end up with paint all over my arm!

So being a huuuge nerd, I had to find the game room. They had foosball, but it was BUSTED! An outrage! There were plenty of pinball machines and video games though, and my favorite: An antique NICKELODEON!!!

Which I of course kept turning on, much to the chagrin of everyone in the surprisingly small room. Including that hot chick that plays Jackie on That 70's Show (no pictures of her, sorry).

Let's see, can't visit the mansion without hitting the grotto...

If there was going to be Tiki, it would be in or near this place... but alas, nothing

There I am, with all my clothes on. I was the designated driver for the evening... otherwise who knows. Some people got naked later, not nearly enough in my opinion....
On the way out of the grotto... this was interesting...

Grotto MISSION CONTROL!!! And what is the most important thing you can fine tune?

Indeed.

The lamest thing about the evening was that it had to end. Yes, we got the bum's rush at around 11:30, much to my surprise. So I bid "Thank you" and "Farewell" to my boss before catching the shuttle bus to the parking lot, while security looks on in a most suspicious manner.

-Joe