Post #245305 by DawnTiki on Thu, Jul 27, 2006 11:27 AM

On 2006-07-27 08:23, Swanky wrote:
Dogs.

I used to have a dog and loved it, but now I am an adult and it's become clear that:
A) Dogs are a big freakin pain in the ass.
B) Dogs demand a lot of attention and time, which, no one really has an abundance of
C) People who have dogs delude themselves into thinking how great dogs are. They get amnesia about how the dog craps in the house, eats things it shouldn't, etc. They forget all the negative crap the dog does.
D) Dogs are generally doofus dumb, which is why people cut them so much slack. The retards love you when you kick them and we think this is a virtue! It also allows us to forgive the dipshits for crapping on the kitchen floor.
E) Many displace feelings they should have for kids or, well, people in general, onto dogs. It's cool to have a dog, but to treat it better than your husband or child or mother or Gandi is wrong. There's something wrong there.
F) Even good dogs are bad. I don't know how many times people tell me how good their dog is, and then I see them wrestling the dog from eating this or that, barking at this or that, crapping on this or that, vomiting...
G) I am really begining to think all dogs and many pets are guilt trips. We end up with a dog to keep it from being killed or something and then make up good reasons to have it in spite of its naughtiness to justify the damn thing. Otherwise, we'd take it out in the woods and shoot it ourselves. But no. We have it, we have to take care of the poor cute retard, and be good to it. So we fill it full of imagined goodness. Don't do it! Just say no to dogs, and pets. Make your life simpler and your house smell better!

Dogs can't be good if they make us clean up after them and forgive them all the time and walk them and pay their bills and do for them every dang day no matter how we feel... Save that for kids. Save that for your parents when they need it. Just close the pound and drop them all off in Australia. Tanker ships full of dogs...

It's easy to guess who ...or what pissed, pooped or puked in Swanky's cheerios today... Bad Dog! Bad Dog!
The pay their bills...is the funniest line ever! HAHAHAHAHA!