Post #272579 by Dr.TikiMojo on Thu, Dec 14, 2006 4:52 PM

I thought twice about post this BASHING of a so called Tiki Bar. Since the REAL Tiki Community is pretty close knit and I didn't feel like stepping on any toes. I searched and searched but couldn't find a single posting by name. Next I figured that there HAD TO BE a thread on the WORST TIKI BAR EVER!, and thankfully I was correct!

I am surprised that there has not been a single posting on this thread since 2002!
A sign that on the whole Tiki Bars are improving?
Oddly enough not a single one of the old links lead anywhere....all out of business I hope!

So here's the story of Mrs.Mojo and my disappointing adventures last night.
After a day of running around in South San Francisco and antique shopping Mrs.Mojo decides she wants to go to our favorite British Pub, Mr. Pickwick's, (British owned and operated), in Concord. It's the middle of commute traffic on a rainy night, we drive 40 miles, (which take 2 1/2 hours in traffic), head into the restaurant and as soon as we're seated and handed menus we notice something is WRONG! All but 3 of the TRADITIONAL BRITISH FARE has been removed from the menu which now is more hamburgers and hot dogs! Turns out they were just bought by new owners a week ago who turned it into a SPORTS BAR!
It was late and we were too tired and hungry to look elsewhere so we begrudgingly ordered and had dinner, (with plans to NEVER return).

We thought things were turning in our favor when our waitress, knowing our displeasure and having talked to us about Tiki, recommended a Tiki Bar in Walnut Creek called, "TIKI TOM'S".
How could I NOT have heard of this Tiki Bar I thought?
From where we were it was only another 6 miles away so I thought we would finish off our disappointing dinner with a wonderful Tiki Cocktail in a nice relaxing Tiki Bar!
I realized we were in for trouble before we got to the door as I could hear the thundering beat of some sorta Hip Hop/Modern crap blasting out of the building and into the street!
We passed by some 20 something year olds, drunk and smoking in front, and headed into the barrage of sound.
This place was as much a MEAT MARKET as any that I remembered from my youth.

Looking around it had a few carved Tikis, Bali style "Tiki" masks hanging on the walls, a couple of surf boards, a small waterfall/pond near the front door, about 6 Tiki mugs on the liquor shelves along with some small carved imported Tikis, lets not forget the GIANT Big Screen TV playing in the background or the HORRIFIC music that we had to shout over just to order a drink.
All in all the weakest attempt I had ever seen at a Tiki Bar.....you could have done all their decorating in about an hour with a budget of $300.

Our bartender, a young lady with an entertaining shirt, (the ones with something stupid written on them so that you actually have an excuse for looking at her chest!), and a lacey pink thong that either rode too high or her pants too low between her mid-rift shirt, (WOW, was I ordering a drink at Coyote Ugly? :o ), spent the entire time she was mixing our drinks chatting up with two young men and shaking her rump while not using a single measuring device to mix our drinks, just a splash of this and a pour of that.
While they did "appear" to use fresh ingredients and juices the mix was so piss poor that neither of our drinks was very good.

Finally the noise drove us out. The part that really sucks is that they mentioned to my wife that they have some sorta Hawaiian Dance troupe on Fridays and Saturdays.....since my wife teaches dance she wants to come back to see the show......probably HIP HOP HULA is it's anything like the rest of the place! :x
That means I may have more to add to this post along with photos next time.....aaaarrrgg, next time! :(