Post #314975 by T_lifehater on Tue, Jun 26, 2007 12:05 AM

Ahhhh... I don't miss that.

I'm lucky- my neighbors are for the most part super cool. The neighbors downhill from me even own a Hawaiian crafts store and coach canoe racing and generally are beyond the absolute best. Everyone else is still pretty cool, despite a couple dork outbreaks here and there. Basically I moved into a small, local neighborhood in Hawaii 15 years ago and we all have known each other for that long or longer. Somebody called the cops when we were playing ukulele and guitar (not electric) on the porch a couple years ago, but I think it's the rental three doors up. They apparently only rent to people who are against fun and stuff, because a year ago the new tenant came and told me my dogs were vicious (they're truly big puppies- total wussie dogs- they're just big.) He was a dork from Manhattan beach who spent ten minutes telling me how he rode the biggest wave ever ridden in California and then after I listened to his complete bullshit for all that time tries to tell me "the neighborhood got together and asked him to come down because they're afraid". I was chuckling inside at that one- my neighborhood doesn't have 'meetings' or any crap like that. So I just looked at him and asked, "You know why they're scared to come talk to me? Cause I'm f*cking crazy." No shit. and before he could say a word I started my weed whip back up and went about my gardening. Dude never spoke to me again.

We're getting all kinds of new neighbors down on the other side of the neighborhood where there were a lot of rentals. Housing prices have gone up so much that a lot of the rentals are selling, and we're getting a lot of people who would probably be cool except they don't know how to shut up, listen and learn how things are. Instead they start right in with the bullshit of sticking their noses into other people's business and telling everyone 'how they do it back home' and in Kona in a small independent local neighborhood (read: not a development with rules and an association)- that gets you absolutely nowhere.

Whoever the poor soul is with those awful neighbors- I had a guy hassling me once who didn't like my pups. I try to keep them in but the one is a fricken circus performer. She can escape anything. So the guy is a real dick and I'm super trying to stay positive. He's trying to sell his house and I understand- that's hard. But still- he finally becomes so insufferable that I paint a 4x8 sheet of plywood: Coming soon: Skateboard halfpipe and punk rock band practice spot!" I hung it from my front gate for a couple days and got a half dozen phone calls from people I know, wanting to come skate my halfpipe. I never heard from the dork again, and he never did sell his house. He's the perfect neighbor- he doesn't speak to me.

I also think I'd consider sending in those reader cards for magazine subscriptions for them, signing them up for a few hundred mortgage companies to cold call them, get them subscriptions to really gnarley porn. filling their car with styrofoam peanuts and shrink-wrapping the entire outside would be creative. I had a customer that stiffed me for several thousand dollars and my construction crew and I would have a few beers on a Friday night and use http://www.fakecaller.com/ to call him and ask whoever answers if he ordered a hooker, if he was going to meet her for the date, etc....

Aloha! Happily being left alone at present!

[ Edited by: T_lifehater 2007-06-26 00:07 ]

[ Edited by: T_lifehater 2007-06-26 00:09 ]